Classic Arcade Games you've never played - part 2

If you have reached this page via Google and are looking for one of these games, I cannot help you as I do not own any of them - Thanks.

From: Tim Chmielewski (
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Classic arcade games you've never played 2003 - part 2
Date: 18 Jan 2003 00:59:30 GMT
Message-ID: <Xns93077A8A31A47chumadcsinetau@>

As I stated in part 1 I know Kibo has already done this, but finishing
part 2 of this list is really a test of how much of a completist I am.
Also when I was doing the main list I remember the episode of Astro Boy
where his sister says "Split me in two" and the other half of her fills
out with shaving cream so she can fight robots in the circus and go to
school at the same time, so I thought of doing the same thing to the list
(I don't think I would have bothered to finish it otherwise.) 

This post has now also cost me $60 as I had to go buy a second hand
monitor so I could finish it. 

Some of the games have been left out as they are sequels and hard to
write about. 

- watch the needle move on the exercise bike

Maximum Force
- what you have to use to get the coins in the slot

- Help! The game's going down!

Mayhem 2002
- Annus horibilus

Maze of Flott
- Who left this flottage cheese all over the maze?

Mazinger Z
- Ma zings Z

Meadows Lanes
- Get the cows to milkin'

Mechanized Attack
- Help! A wind up toy is attacking me!

Medal Mahjong Circuit no Mehyou [
- There is a special chip they put on motherboards nowadays so you can
play solitaire and mah-jong on them 

Mega Blast
- Blast! It's so mega!

Mega Man - The Power Battle
- Throw live power cables at each other

Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters
- throw power cables and buckets of water at each other

Mega Twins
- Those twins are HEFTY! HEFTY! HEFTY!

Mega Zone
- Didn't they make a movie about this?

- What you need to stick your 'lost cat' notice to the world's largest

- A giant lizard that attacks Godzilla

Meikyu Jima
- About an island somewhere in the Pacific

Meosis Magic
- Cat sister magic

- Drive around in a Mercedes Benz and feel superior to everyone else

- Try to avoid randy dolphins, drift nets and lame Disney movies

Meta Fox
- the new mark-up tag for web pages designed to kill chickens in the
middle of the night 

Metal Black
- Why is this metal still black? You were supposed to be polishing it!

Metal Hawk
- What you use to scare the metal birds away from your metal orchard

Metal Slug
- If you try and squash it a big spike will stick in your foot

- Help! Someone dropped the name for this game in the blender!

- Try to walk across 2 city blocks without being accosted by pan handlers
and charity collectors 

Midnight Resistance
- Using the soldering iron late are we?

Mighty Guy
- versus Generic Man

- it's Metal Mikie!

Mille Miglia 2: Great 1000 Miles
- Millie & Spike Milligan run for 1000 miles

- stick your hand in there and they will bite you

- You can get t-shirts from Cambodia now as souvenirs that say "Danger!

- Also included as a separate chip on most motherboards

Mini Golf
- to start the game you must put your change into the coin slot 

- Darth rides in the mechanic's courtesy car while the Death Star is in
for repairs 

Minky Monkey
- I am the greatest will you demons never understand!

Minnasanno Okagesamadesu
- Bless You!

Mirai Ninja
- The mirage ninja

Miss Mahjong Contest
- Arrange the blocks in the shape of a woman

Miss World '96 Nude
- Sure you only read that magazine for the articles...

Missile Command
- Gorbechov offered total disarmament if Reagan would cancel the 'Star
Wars' program, but they screened 'The Star Wars Holiday Special' anyway. 

Missing in Action
- Chuck Norris before he started doing infomercials for a living

Mission 660
- After mission 601 things got a bit carried away...

Mister Viking
- What you call a bezerker Viking after he drinks the mushroom flavoured

Mobile Suit Gundam
- Look it's a mobile suit by gundam!

- Cat Jackie Chan

Mole Attack
- Play match the beauty spot with the famous person

Momoko 120%
- That is impossible as 100% is the maximum it is possible to give

Money Money
- Wah! All this game does is take my money!

Money Puzzle Exchanger / Money Id
- Enter the exciting world of foreign currency transaction - how many
Zlotys to the Drachma? 

Monster Bash
- track down the person who wrote that dumb song and beat them

Monster Slider
- Wee! There goes Frankenstein's monster down the slip'n'slide

Monte Carlo
- Play a biscuit with jam and cream inside it - oh the excitement!

Moon Alien Part 2
- To the spaceship! To the moon!

Moon Cresta
- Sounds like a brand of moon cheese

Moon Patrol
- Doesn't this game have a really catchy tune?

Moon Quasar
- Sounds like a breakfast cereal

Moon Walker
- Sounds like a lame arse biopic/crap crime drama

- The moons only weapons are changing the tides and blacking out the
sunlight in small parts of the earth - not much of a war 

Moriguchi Hiroko no Quiz de Hyuuh
- Saphrisiti Nicko! Unless we get this C.D. plate secretly screwed to
this piano we are tick! Vick! VOOM! 

Mortal Kombat 1-3
- Make it stop! make it stop!

- reassemble this game from broken ceramic tiles

- Ride the 's' around the room

- Oh no! Austin Powers lost his Mouja *again*!

Mouse Trap
- Whenever you play this game the world tries to beat a path to your door

Mr. Do!
- Mr Do does a lot of doodoos

Mr. Do's Castle his castle made of doodoos

Mr. Do's Wild Ride
- That's enough of the poo jokes for now

Mr. Goemon
- Go mon go!

Mr. Jong
- the sound his head makes when you hit it with the rubber mallet

Mr. Kougar
- The happy husband of that '5 cougars thanks' barmaid (Australian only

- You need to get the bomb squad to shake his hand

Ms. Pac-Man
- Pac-Man with a BOW anyone?

Mug Smashers
- take that you useless crockery!

Multi Champ
- What are you champion of? Multis of course!

Musashi Ganryuuki
- Musashi hits his finger with the hammer

Mutant Night
- what happens when the night gets exposed to gamma rays

Mutation Nation
- I knew all that chemical waste could be bad for your health, you
shouldn't have eaten it you bad nation! 

My Hero
- Awwwww!

Mysterious Stones
- They're just polished rocks people! They're not 'healing stones'!

Mystic Marathon
- Astral travel 42kms around the city

Mystic Riders
- Don't bother the horses much as they are made of air

N.Y. Captor
- The last person who tried to kidnap New York was beat up and mugged,
and that was just when they were getting the train to the kidnapping 

- In this game you get to smash the gate of the American Embassy in a

NATO Defense
- That school was a missile storage site honest!

NBA Hangtime
- The new NBA clothesline available at sports shops

- In strawberry, raspberry, and stripy Rodman

Namco Classics Vol.1
- Why is it when you re-release something no one has bought for years
(for a good reason) you have to call it a 'classic'

Name That Tune
- doot doot doo doo

Naname de Magic!
- Name that magic

- Squares spoil the hippies fun

- You burnt me you nasty star!

Naughty Boy
- In this game you get to shoot people with pea shooters and put frogs
down girls backs 

- Have a piss off the navy boat

Nebulas Ray
- The ray gun wasn't very good as it beam was too nebulous

- Have fun looking at nicks

Nekketsu Grand-Prix Gal
- They are advertising the paper for 'F1 Grid Girls' already

Nekketsu Mahjong Sengen! AFTER 5
- This game won't let you play it before 5pm

- As soon as you put your money in this game chases you around and tries
to kill you 

- Submarine not included

Neo Bomberman
- Probably not a good name to put on your passport nowadays

Neo Drift Out - New Technology
- Wow....these computers are so....neat....

Neo Mr. Do!
- It's a new do!

Neo Turf Masters / Big Tournament
- I can cut the grass faster than you!

Neo-Geo Cup '98 - The Road to the
- Fight over a cracked tea cup

Net Wars
- Drift nets fight each other in the ocean

Nettou! Gekitou! Quiztou!!
- Hashoo! Hashoo! Hashoo!! Bless You!

New Fantasia
- Good! No stupid cartoon mouse in this one!

New Rally X
- Race around with nude porn stars

New Sinbad 7
- Sinbad now carries around seven full length mirrors to distract his

New York New York
- Old Blue Eyes not included

New Zealand Story, The
- Race Peter Jackson to try and film the Lord of the Rings

- Scroll the autocue for the stupid news presenter to read

Next Space, The
- This space intentionally left blank > <

- Who's been chewing this arcade game

Night Driver
- Chow down on 'No Doze' to get that load across country

Night Stocker
- At least you don't have to bring your lunch

Night Striker
- I hate it when I have to walk home when the taxi drivers go on strike

Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Rev
- People fight the absence of light again

Nightmare in the Dark
- Spooooky

Ninja Baseball Batman
- Ninjas play baseball using Batman to hit the ball

Ninja Clowns
- They throw flowers instead of ninja stars

Ninja Combat
- Watch them fight by jumping backwards onto the roof

Ninja Commando
- Big Arnie wraps his jumper around his head

Ninja Emaki
- Generic Ninja game #45898998

Ninja Gaiden
- The ninja garden is nice except you have to jump backwards onto the
roof to get out of it 

Ninja Kid II
- The kid wraps his nappy around his head

Ninja Kids
- It was really cool to wrap you jumper around your head to pretend to be
a Ninja, even if it made you crash your bike as you could see where
you're going 

Ninja Master's - haoh-ninpo-cho
- Ninja Masters are not really that common

Ninja Spirit
- Even ghosts like wrapping their jumper around their head

Ninja Warriors, The
- Generic Ninja game #6338782

Ninjakun Majou no Bouken
- Wah! You broke my ninja!

- Me and pie

No Man's Land
- It is hard to play this game as it is in between the front lines

- No branka, no branka at all

- How many vague 'predictions' can you get wrong?

Nouryoku Koujou Iinkai
- An evil dog gets covered in ink

Nova 2001
- Stars explode in 2001

Numan Athletics
- The postman off Seinfeld goes to the Olympics

- Stop throwing the nuns around will you!

Off the Wall
- Bounce the arcade game off the wall

Oh My God!
- they actually made this game!

Oishii Puzzle Ha Irimasenka
- Something about a puzzle

Ojanko High School
- Where the Ojanko's go to school obviously

Ojanko Yakata
- More Ojanko fun and frolics

Ojanko Yakata 2bankan
- and some more

- O.J. San the secret Kung Fu master

- Sounds like a breakfast cereal Oli-Bowl of Chus

Omega Fighter
- Charlton Heston shoots albinos and steals sports cars

Omega Race
- The Alpha race was cancelled

One Shot One Kill
- Any sniper jokes here would be in bad taste so I won't make any

Onna Sansirou - Typhoon Gal
- About a girl who flattens whole cities when she sneezes

Operation Ragnagard / Shin-Oh-Ken
- Sounds like a mission to use fly spray

Operation Thunderbolt
- Don't use metal instruments to operate on a thunderbolt

Operation Wolf
- We must operate immediately to extract Little Red Riding Hood from the
Big Bad Wolf 

- Put a bomb under this and watch it fly

- Sounds like a yucky drink with icky coloured dots floating in it

- New eye drops that I will need after finishing this list

Oriental Legend / Xi Yo Gi Shi Re
- The Legend of King Monkey the Great Sage Equal of Heaven

Othello Derby
- Race around playing with black and white disks

Otome Ryouran
- Ryo ran away from Otome

Otona no Mahjong
- Not more Mahjong

Out Run
- Try and outrun the police in your white Ford Bronco (this joke expires

Out Zone
- The game you play when sent to time out

- Try and run away from the female foxes

Over Drive
- Break your cars gearbox trying to go faster

Over Top
- Wear a scarf over your top it's cold out there

Ozma Wars
- Osama Wars...I don't think too many people really want to play this

P-47 - The Phantom Fighter
- Help! A ghost plane is attacking me!

P.O.W. - Prisoners of War

Pac & Pal
- A backpack full of dog food

- Pack the land into what? A bulldozer?

Pac-Man Plus
- Pac the man into the suitcase to get around immigration

- I'm going mad packing things

Pachinko Sexy Reaction
- Watching balls drop is sexy for some people

Paddle Mania
- This game comes with a ping pong paddle and a butt

- You can only play this game if a copy of it is in the same arcade

- This game eats it's own poo

Pandora's Palace
- The palace is full of spring snakes to surprise guests who think it
contains peanuts 

- Pang! Pang! Your Pead! I Phot you in the Pead!

Pang Poms
- Hit English cricket players over the head

Pang! 3
- Someone packed the fireworks incorrectly and they went Pang! instead of

Panic Bomber
- The suicide bomber can't decide what to wear at the last minute

Panic Street
- The street runs away as it is afraid of cars

- You can roll him up and use him to squash cockroaches

Parodius DA!
- Ha! Ha! It's a parody of a Duis!

- Next...

Passing Shot
- Stupid smelly game

Pastel Gal
- The little girl ate the box of crayons and drew all over her face

- The game for flashers

- Piddle on the eggs

- Where'd my pen go?

Penguin-Kun Wars
- Penguins hit each other over the head with frying pans making "KUN!"

Pepper II
- Ahh-choo!

Percussor, The
- This game should have been at the start of the list

Perfect Soldiers
- are a fantasy

- A man who walks around with skewer perforating everything

Peter Pack-Rat
- This game tries to collect all the other games in a big pile

Pettan Pyuu
- Peter Pan P-YU! You smell!

Phantom II
- The sequel of a ghost

- A lilo fell down

- This game comes back if you set it on fire

- Sounds like a gas used to make lights

- This game tries to pick your nose when you play it

Pig Newton
- A pig with a creamy filling

- This game gives you a spoon and a mountain of ice cream & chocolate

Pigskin 621AD
- That's an old football

Pinball Action
- How do they simulate the tilt? Do you tip up the arcade machine

- Pin the tail on the donkey and try not to get kicked in the head

Ping Pong
- Forrest Gump not included

Pioneer Balloon
- Try and fly around the world solo with a custard tart on the side of
your head 

Pipe Dream
- The plans for this game looked great but it was never finished

Pipi & Bibis / Whoopee
- The game with red pigtails

Pirate Ship HigeMaru
- ARRR! This game boards the other arcade games to raid them of quarters

- Please insert one fish to start

Pistol Daimyo no Bouken
- My pistol is broken!

Pit Fighter
- Fight a hole in the ground

Pit, The
- Try and catch tigers in the jungle using just a portable hole

Pitfall II
- This game does have its drawbacks

Play Girls
- Is this the same as the one involving Hugh Hefner?

Play Girls 2
- Ew! Girl germs!

- Stop playing with it or you'll go blind!

PlayChoice-10: Balloon Fight
- Fight the clown by hitting him over the head with balloon animals

PlayChoice-10: Captain Sky Hawk
- Try and fly on an eagle (if you're not to heavy)

PlayChoice-10: Castlevania
- Not a sort after address really

PlayChoice-10: Dr. Mario
- He prescribes magic mushrooms that make you grow big for every ailment

PlayChoice-10: Duck Hunt
- Why can't you shoot the dog?

PlayChoice-10: Excite Bike
- Make your bike exciting by putting cards in the spokes

PlayChoice-10: Golf
- A good walk spoiled

PlayChoice-10: Gradius
- Measure the gradient of a hill - oh the excitement!

PlayChoice-10: Hogan's Alley
- That's not a knife...

PlayChoice-10: Kung Fu
- Play a pretend Chinese person in a cheesy TV series

PlayChoice-10: Mario Bros.
- When will I, will I be famous? I donta know Luigi!

PlayChoice-10: Mario Open Golf
- Mario opens the door of a crappy car

PlayChoice-10: Mega Man 3
- It's Mega-Man!

PlayChoice-10: Metroid
- Help the metroid is going to destroy New York! Better get Shaun Connery
to save it with a bad Russian accent 

PlayChoice-10: Mike Tyson's Punch Out
- It didn't sell too well as "Mike Tyson's Foreplay"

PlayChoice-10: Nintendo World Cup
- Play for the coffee cup of the bloke who invented the Mario Bros

PlayChoice-10: Power Blade
- Trim that hedge in no time!

PlayChoice-10: Pro Wrestling
- Learn to fake fight with the stars

PlayChoice-10: RC Pro Am
- Race remote controlled cars against the drivers at the Daytona 500

PlayChoice-10: Rad Racer
- See if the person who said 'Rad' one too many times can outrun your car

PlayChoice-10: Rescue Rangers
- From an irate Smoky the Bear after he caught them having bongs in the

PlayChoice-10: Rockin' Kats
- Dress your cat up in baby clothes and put them in a babies crib

PlayChoice-10: Rush N' Attack
- We only attacked because they fired first

PlayChoice-10: Rygar
- Sounds like a plastic

PlayChoice-10: Solar Jetman
 - Sounds like a film by Alan Smithee

PlayChoice-10: Super C
- A big vitamin C tablet

PlayChoice-10: Super Mario Bros.
- See who can grow the bigger moustache

PlayChoice-10: Tecmo Bowl
- Bowling for Tecmos

PlayChoice-10: Tennis
- See who can have the more mad Dad

PlayChoice-10: The Goonies
- Help! Someone shrunk Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Seacombe
to miniature size! 

PlayChoice-10: Track & Field
- Steroids not included

PlayChoice-10: Trojan
- Leave this game alone too long and Greek soldiers sneak out of it to
invade your city 

PlayChoice-10: Uncle Fester's Quest
- To lance the boil

PlayChoice-10: Volley ball
- Try and find a reason why beach volleyball was included as an Olympic
sport except for the perve value 

PlayChoice-10: Wild Gunman
- Look out! The chimp's got a gun!

PlayChoice-10: Yo! Noid
- Yo Noid! How they hangin'?

Pleasure Goal / Futsal - 5 on 5 M
- The G-spot! Mark it on the map!

- Mmm! Ice cream!

- I'll get you my pretty! Hehehehehe!

Plump Pop
- It's not nice to call you Grandfather fat

Plus Alpha
- Not ready for Beta yet, but almost there

- Stop picking your nose and eating it at the picnic just to annoy your

Pocket Gal
- Those blow up dolls sure do deflate to a small package

Point Blank
- No! I'm not doing this one!

- The potato bingo game

Poker Ladies
- Liquor in the front. Poker in the back

- Some Russian movie that has been remade to star George Clooney

Pole Position I-II
- The exciting sport of pole sitting brought to life

Police Trainer
- Plunger not included in New York version

- Lick the pole! Lick the pole!

- Play with a dead parrot 

- Poke a poncho

- What Jaws does to relax

- Involves a pig somehow

Pop 'N Pop
- Two grandfathers come to visit

Pop 'n Bounce / Gapporin
- First you pop the balloons then you bounce them....erm?

Pop Flamer
- Dad! Stop getting into flame wars with those kids!

- Spinach not included

- Since the terrorist alerts all party poppers have been confiscated.
Compensate by winding up a straw and flicking the middle 

Port Man
- Starboard man sold separately

Poto Poto
- A low power aqua mini

Pound for Pound
- The lamest game around

Power Drive
- Throw your driver at the car after playing a bad game of golf

Power Goal
- Drive the goal around the ground to make soccer matches more

Power Instinct
- What stops you putting a fork in the electrical socket

Power Play
- Live wires are fun to play with

Power Spikes I-II
- Install a surge protector to stop these

Power Surge
- All the other games blew up when I plugged this in

Prehistoric Isle 2
- An old island made of poo!

Prehistoric Isle in 1930
- As above but it was made in 1930

Premier Soccer
- Drink fizzy water and play soccer

Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon
- Fight off obsessive fan boys who want to steal your costumes

Primal Rage
- Arrrgh! This game tried to eat me!

Pro Mahjong Kiwame
- People make a living from playing Mahjong?

Prop Cycle
- Try to fly one of Leonardo de Vinci's flying machines

Psychic 5
- If you were really a psychic you would have called me!

Psycho Soldier
- Norman Bates goes to war

Psycho-Nics Oscar
- Nike Nolte goes nuts after winning an Academy Award

- Ew Li! Don't poo then measure it with a ruler!

Puchi Carat
- Push the carrot where? YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

- If I saw this in the arcade I would change the 'P' to a 'F'

- Play a crappy car

- Navigate by this game on the high seas

- This game knocks you out when you try to play it

Punisher, The
- This game is so bad you only play it if you have done something wrong

Punk Shot
- Use old Sex Pistols records for clay pigeon shooting

- Poo run run run! The poo run run!

- Push the man out of the way to get on the train

Puyo Puyo
- Sounds like a drink made of Paw Paws

Puzz Loop
- This game repeats the same puzzle over and over

Puzzle Bobble 1-4
- What a puzzling bubble

Puzzle Club
- This Club gets beaten up by the D&D nerds

Puzzle De Bowling
- Do a crossword while bowling

Puzzle De Pon
- Puzzling pom-pom

Puzzled / Joy Joy Kid
- You've got me there

- Puzzling pasta dish

- A puzzle freak

- @#$%!

Q*bert's Qubes
- @#$%! Returns

- Sounds like a crappy breakfast cereal

- This used to be a really good science show

- The hardest part to reach on your back and the part that is always

- There must be four of this game present to play it properly

- Mmm! Refresh Quester now in lemon flavour

Quiz & Dragons
- D&D Nerds quiz night

Quiz Bisyoujo Senshi Sailor Moon
- Quiz the sailor dress wearing fan boys on their knowledge of a cartoon

Quiz Chikyu Bouei Gun
- Quiz with guns

Quiz Crayon Shinchan
- Don't eat the crayon, use it on the quiz

Quiz DNA no Hanran
- Even the human genome gets it's own quiz

Quiz Daisousa Sen - The Last Count
- 151561652 quizzes! Ha! Ha! Ha! *thunder*

Quiz Gakuen Paradise
- A paradise where you don't have to do any quizzes!

Quiz Gakumon no Susume
- Godzilla does a quiz

Quiz Gekiretsu Scramble
- Scrabble quiz

Quiz HQ
- Where they make all these quiz games

Quiz Jinsei Gekijoh
- Quiz alcoholic drink

Quiz King of Fighters
- The brawl after the pub trivia night

Quiz Kokology 1-2
- Quiz Kibology 1 & 2

Quiz Meintantei Neo Geo - Quiz Da
- It's a Quiz, Yes

Quiz Nanairo Dreams: Nijiirotyou
- I dream of when I don't have to write any other jokes about quiz games

Quiz Quest - Hime to Yuusha no Mo
- The quest to get to the end of the quiz games on this list

Quiz Sangokushi
- Shampoo Quiz

Quiz Sekai wa SHOW by shobai
- The Quiz show with Regis Phillbin

Quiz Theater - 3tsu no Monogatari
- Even the theatres ask questions now

Quiz Tonosama no Yabou
- Yabby quiz

Quiz Torimonochou
- Tamagotchi quiz - first question : how fast did these go out of

Quiz de Idol! Hot Debut
- Quiz your idol after stalking them

Quiz-Mahjong Hayaku Yatteyo!
- Fun!

- Take the duck the to the bad doctor

- R you a shark? No! said the shark as he ate me

R-Type I-II
- Fight space aliens while saying "ARR!"

R-Type Leo
- Fight space aliens and lions

Rabio Lepus
- Rambo Rabbit

Race Drivin'
- Play the bloke who puts the bottle of water in the window during tire

Radar Scope
- Look at the radar screen for hours on end trying to get planes to land

Radar Zone
- One ping only

Radical Radial
- What a cool tire!

- You can't sell raffle tickets for an entire continent!

- Fly spray in the den

- Raiders of the lost 5

- Never R

Rainbow Islands
- Where the pot of gold is

Rally Bike / Dash Yarou
- Very uneasy left!

Rally X
- Have I done the porno rally joke yet?

Rambo III
- Dedicated to the brave people of Afghanistan (the original film was!
Check the credits) 

- A Rugby League end of season poo-smearing simulator

Rampage: World Tour
- As above but at the world cup

- Try and climb up the coin slot on this machine and avoid the boiling

- Sounds like a head covering

- Even pantyhose gets it's own game

- Test the failsafe systems on the dodgy nuclear reactor

Real Bout Fatal Fury 1-3
- As opposed to FAKE bout Fatal Fury or FAKE LOINS!

Real Ghostbusters, The
- What? No hat wearing gorilla in this?

- Smash the old 45s so people have to buy CDs

Red Alert alert! I did a piddle in the dirt!

Red Baron
- I'll get you baron!

Red Clash
- The red clashes with the curtains!

Red Robin
- Try and avoid being eaten by the cat and shot by little kids' BB guns

Redline Racer

- Sounds like an alien from Star Trek

Reikai Doushi
- Reikai has a shower

Relief Pitcher
- An embossed jug of water on the wall

- You rebel you!

- Help! Save me from doing this list!

Rescue Raider
- Rescue the pirates from their sinking ship

Rettou Juudan Nekkyoku Janshi - H
- Something or other

Return of Ishtar, The
- They decided to make a sequel even after the original movie bombed?

Return of the Invaders
- Bums to the wall! Here come the anal probes!

Return of the Jedi
- Hey Ma! Jed's glass eye has come in the post!

Revolution X
- Why rock bands should not make games

- comes in two tubes which you mix together

Riddle of Pythagoras
- AB = C. It's not that hard!

Riding Fight
- Hit each other over the head with BMXes

Riding Hero
- Go horsy!

Rim Rockin' Basketball
- Play basketball from the toilet

Ring Rage
- What Frodo has

Ring of Destruction: Slammasters
- Wrestle for the One Ring

Riot City
- Seattle when the WTO is in town

Rip Cord
- You are handcuffed to this game and thrown out of a plane - try and
find the rip cord 

Rip Off
- This game contains gelatinous cubes

River Patrol
- Go up the river with Martin Sheen

Road Blasters
- Blow holes in the road for no reason

Road Fighter
- I'll fight you, you stupid expressway!

Road Riot's Revenge
- The road strikes back at the rioters

Road Runner
- Anvil not included

Robby Roto
- Robby rotor blade likes to chop things up

Robo Army
- The evil army of Aibos goes on the rampage

- Try and find a donut shop that makes iron donuts

Robocop 2

Robot Bowl
- Make bowls out of robots that didn't do their job properly

- Population : 414123132132 robots, 1 person who can shoot in one
direction and run in another 

Roc'n Rope
- I thought it said Rock'n Pope - it would have been better that way

Rock 'n Rage
- Throw a rock at the TV as they are playing crappy old "Countdown"
reruns on the RAGE TV show 

- The land of inanimate carbon rods

Roller Jammer
- Put a stick in someone's roller sakes to make them fall over

- The thirteenth century is negative!

Rolling Crash / Moon Base
- A moon rock rolls down to the moon base in 1999

Rolling Thunder 1-2
- The sky farts, twice

- Shave your head and romp around

Rough Ranger
- Ride horses bareback, backwards and in the nude

- So far I've nearly finished the "R's"

Route 16
- If you say so

Royal Mahjong
- Even the Queen plays Mahjong

- Sounds like a material used to make sails and bullet proof vests

Ryu Jin
- Japanese Liquor

S.P.Y. - Special Project Y
- You should have seen special projects A-X

S.R.D. Mission
- Stupid Ridiculous and Dumb Mission

S.S. Mission
- Silly Sausage mission

S.T.U.N. Runner
- Run with cattle prods

SAR - Search And Rescue
- Rescue the poor joke writer from under the list of MAME games

SD Gundam Psycho Salamander no Ky
- The Salamander doesn't like it when you put it in the toaster

SDI - Strategic Defense Initiative
- fire the 'laser' at the nuclear missiles

- Save our Sausages

- Swat the fly!

Saboten Bombers
- Sabotage the bombs so they blow up!

- Sardines in the desert

- A new crappy web browser for the Mac

Safari Rally
- Lions and tigers and bears race around the savannah in rally cars

Saint Dragon
- Obviously not St George

- This game can withstand extreme heat

- Chop up other games with your sword

Samurai Aces
- Samurais play cards in their spare time

Samurai Nihon-ichi
- The Samurai has an itchy back which is why he is wearing the flag on
his back 

Samurai Showdown I - IV
- Show the Samurais the way to the toilet down the stairs as the flag
makes them want to go to the toilet a lot 

Sand Scorpion
- Just don't lay your beach towel over them

- What a cushy job Sanko has


Sasuke vs. Commander
- Drink Sake whilst trying to work a Commander phone system

Satan of Saturn
- Just be glad it's not from Uranus

Satan's Hollow
- Behind his knee

Saturday Night Slam Masters
- In the alley behind the nightclub where the bouncers beat up patrons

- Watch the rings!

- Help him find his ring

Savage Reign / Fu'un Mokushiroku
- That rain is nasty

Scandal Mahjong
- Sex, Lies and Mahjong 

- From a long line of games I don't know about

- This game tries to sting you with it's tail

- Try and run away as this game falls down the stairs

Scrambled Egg
- You must get a scrambled egg back into it's shell

Screw Loose
- You must have to play this game

Scud Hammer
- It is not advisable to work on these missiles with a hammer

Sea Fighter Poseidon
- Fight Culthu with a trident

Sea Wolf I-II
- I didn't know wolves could swim and drink salt water

Second Love
- After doing this list that is

Section Z
- Sections A-Y were already taken

Sega Ninja
- Has committed Hari Kiri after the mission to blow up the PS2 factory

- The sea is very cross

- Look! A giant HA!

Sel Feena
- 1 Feena going for $9.99

Sen Jin - Guardian Storm
- Guard the storm Sen

...what he is talking about

Sengeki Striker
- while the iron is hot

Sengoku / Sengoku Denshou
- Sounds like something you do an a pogo stick

- Maker of fine electrical appliances everywhere

Sente Diagnostic Cartridge
- Used to diagnose ailments in other games - I'm sorry your copy of
Asteroids has the flu 

- You are chained to this game until you beat the high score

Shadow Dancer
- Dance with the unlight

Shadow Force
- It's easier just to push the light around...

Shadow Land
- Like that episode of Monkey where it was always night in one half of
the land 

Shanghai I-III
- Someone stole this game

Shanghai Kid
- A baby in a pram tries to kidnap other babies

Shark Attack
- Chow down on skinny dipping swimmers and try to avoid being killed by
Roy Schneider 

- The John Wayne simulator

- The ninja bee!

Shippu Mahou Daisakusen
- A ship full of poo

Shock Troopers
- Give the live wire and bucket of water to the dumb soldiers

- Stick your finger in the electrical socket repeatedly

Shoot Out
- This show ain't no good...

Shoot the Bull
- Shoot the BS more like it

- This game tries to fight all the other games in the bar and has to be
rescued by it's personal trainer 

- Play with senior citizens on the cruise liner

- Fetch my pipe, slippers and shotgun!

- Quiet down there!

Sichuan II
- The hot and spicy game

Side Arms - Hyper Dyne
- I also have arms on my side

Side Pocket
- As long as you don't use it for 'pocket billiards'

Side Track
- Play this game and forget why you decided to play it in the first game

Silent Dragon
- A dragon that has had a silencer fitted

- You have to unravel the cocoons to make the cabinet

Simpsons, The
- also comes with a phone so you can ring Moe's Tavern

Sindbad Mystery
- Find out what word opens the cave "OPEN SASQUATCH?"

- A very evil star

Skull & Crossbones
- Wah! I copied my flag off a medicine bottle and all I got was a

Sky Adventure
- The sky goes on a quest to find out why it is blue

Sky Alert
- The ground is rising!

Sky Base
- How do you get it to stay up there?

Sky Bumper
- If you need bumpers in the sky for the dodge 'em cars you've got other

Sky Chuter
- Blam! Die Sky!

Sky Diver
- The sky goes swimming

Sky Fox
- Only when it jumps off a cliff

Sky Kid
- Babies go skydiving

Sky Kid Deluxe
- The secret sky diving toddler sequence in Baby Geniuses 2!

Sky Lancer
- The sky has a boil

Sky Raider
- Steal air from the sky

Sky Skipper
- The sky goes into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of it's

Sky Smasher
- Take that you stupid sky!

Sky Soldiers
- I'm glad there's no more sky jokes to do

Slap Fight
- The D&D nerds fight the Seaquest fan boys

Slap Shot
- Try and slap the gun and shoot it at the same time

Slick Shot
- Don't shoot the oil slick it won't disperse that way

- Who left this discarded skin here?

Sly Spy
- Does it have a red bushy tail by and chance

Smash T.V.
- The rock star hotel room simulator

Snacks'n Jaxson
- Now in BBQ flavour

Snake Pit
- A game about a member of Guns'n'Roses

Snap Jack
- Jack doesn't like it when you try to snap him in half

Snow Bros. - Nick & Tom
- Deliver cocaine to the former 'couple of the year'

Snow Bros. 2 - With New Elves
- Try and steal Santa's elves to use in your cocaine deliveries

Soccer Brawl
- Just like any normal game I guess (for the fans that is)

Sokonuke Taisen Game
- Sooky Nuking game

Sol Divide - The Sword Of Darkness
- If you cut the sun in half it will go out!

Solar Fox
- Fire the fox at the sun

Solar Quest
- Chase the sun around trying to find where it goes after going behind
the mountain 

- Dam the sunlight

Soldier Girl Amazon
- Otherwise known as Xena

Solitary Fighter
- Not much fun fighting yourself

Solomon's Key
- He's not that wise. He still left it under a rock like everyone else

- Mmmm! Souvlaki!

Son Son
- and Dad Dad

Son of Phoenix
- He is very black and crispy

Sonic Blast Man
- You don't want to know where the 'blasts' come from

Sotsugyo Shousho
- Shoe Shoe Something

Space Attack
- Ow! A gap hit me on the head!

Space Beam
- The beam holding up the ozone layer is very long

Space Bomber
- Osama and Co try to fly a plane into the space station

Space Chaser
- I'll get you space!

Space Duel
- you can't walk ten steps in space though or you will fall off the space

Space Dungeon
- BDSM in a secret compartment of the Space Station

Space Encounters
- As seen in "The Uranus Experiment"

Space Fever
- Watch out or you'll catch the Moon Bug

Space Firebird
- I thought fire doesn't burn in space?

Space Force
- Otherwise known as gravity

Space Fortress
- Defeat the dragon on Venus and save the princess

Space Fury
- The sun is angry

Space Gun
- Isn't that what Space Cruiser Yamamoto is?

Space Harrier
- Stop harassing the stars!

Space Intruder
- Break out the anal probe jokes again!

Space Invaders

Space King 2
- Sounds like a big BBQ

Space Laser
- Bounce lasers of the moon to change the channel on the TV

Space Odyssey
- Going to the milk bar is a trial if you live all the way out on Pluto

Space Panic
- Start a run on the Space Stock Exchange

Space Seeker
- Give me a home where the little green men roam...

Space Stranger 1-2
- Straaaanger Danger, don't let that little green man offer you candy

Space Tactics
- Tic tacs rain from space

Space Trek
- Diabolically bad singing by lead actor not included

Space Wars
- Fight the gap between two bits of wood

Space Zap
- Ow! I got a shock after walking over the space carpet

- Why you shouldn't chew the insulation on the copper wires

- Why I use long tongs when cooking with lard

Speak & Rescue
- Rescue the little man from inside the Speak & Spell

Special Criminal Investigation
- Investigate the VIP criminals who have chauffeur getaway drivers

- Ghost nectar

Speed Ball
- Sounds like a bad dodge ball game

Speed Coin
- You have to put the money in really quick

Speed Freak
- KIBO said it best: After level 12 it's hard to find anywhere else to
stick the 
  needle in.

Speed Rumbler, The
- Fart in a spin dryer

Speed Spin
- Dry your clothes really quickly

Spelunker I-II
- You can only play this game in a cave

- You have to cover your eyes if you are an arachnophobic

- This game spikes your drink if you rest it on the cabinet

Spin Master / Miracle Adventure
- Manage George Bush Jnr's War Campaign

Spinal Breakers
- This game jumps up and down on your back until it snaps

- Nude Darryl Hannah not included

- Throw this game against the wall and if it sticks you've had a good

Splatter House
- Chainsaw Shuffle

Splendor Blast
- "What a magnificent explosion of that home for cute puppies!" Shouted
the maniac 

Sports Match
- Have a match lighting contest with the little match girl

- Hold a fake talk show and beat each other with chairs

Sprint 1
- Pretend to be a telecommunications company in the USA and try not to go

Spy Hunter 1-2
- James Bond cracks down on cheap imitators

Stack Columns
...of doidy!

Stadium Hero
- The stadium cleaner pretends to be a sports star

Stagger I
- Try to get home from a hard night's drinking

Stakes Winner 1-2
- Kill vampires for fun and profit

Star Castle
- Lock Pauly Shore, Adam Sandler and Tom Green in the oubliette and it
would be a good castle 

Star Cruiser
- Hugh Grant goes down Sunset Strip in a convertible again...

Star Fire
- "Help! The star is on fire!" screams a stupid person 
"It's meant to be."  explains Matt McIrvin patiently

Star Force
- The best star to use would be Henry Rollins:
"I'm warning you send us your money! If we have to come for your money,
oh, what a mess your life's going to be!" - as heard on a Melbourne radio
station in Austria 

Star Guards
- Bouncers guard the sun to prevent dirty comets getting near it and
letting their tails run all over the place 

Star Hawk
- Sell the sun at the pawn shop

Star Jacker
- Jack up the sun to change the tire

Star Trek
- Remeeeeeeeeeeember meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Star Wars
- All hail Chewbacca lord and master!

- If it is used to cut up bad stars it is all right

- With MacGyver!

Starship 1
- Star Trekkers across the universe...

Steel Force
- All the steel sliding off the truck behind you at the traffic lights is
a force to be reckoned with 

Steel Gunner 2
- Shoot pop rivets into the steel sheeting

Steel Talons
- The eagle gets some prosthetic claws

- BEWARE! Stingers! I'm being ware!

- Take a part time job as night fill at the local supermarket to get more

- Stomp around the house in your dad's work boots and fireman's hat

Storm Blade
- Cut up the thunderstorms before they do too much damage

Strata Bowling
- Go bowling deep underground

Strategy X
- Let's drink beer and watch a porno!

- Run through the arcade naked!

Street Fighter
- Can you play Sonny Chiba?

Street Fighter II - The World Warriors
- Hadoken! Why do the blokes in the background look like they are doing
something funny with their hands (there's about a million other versions
of Street Fighter 2 which are virtually the same) 

Street Fighter: The Movie
- Van Damme hit the baddie! Dush! Dush! Dush!

Street Football
- Just don't try and kick the ball at the oncoming truck

Street Hoop / Street Slam / Dunk
- Fix the hoop after vandals wreck it and be in a stupid credit card ad

Street Smart
- To play this game you have to avoid being mugged, hustled, ripped off
and that's just to cross the street to the arcade 

Strength & Skill
- Mr Punyverse could win this game

- Save dumb hobbits from themselves

Strike Force
- The strike forced the government to sack everyone

Strike Gunner S.T.G
- Shoot tear gas in the air

Strike Zone
- All of Venezuela right now (15th Jan. 2003)

Strikers 1945 I-IV
- Something about the war

- Throw rocks at submarines in 3D

- Eat a long sandwich

- You're gonna need some pretty heavy duty taps on your shoes to do that

Sunset Riders
- Try to ride the sun and not get a burnt bottom

Super Bagman
- Push the shopping trolley and fight crime!

Super Baseball Double Play Home R

Super Basketball
- Don't play basketball with Rubberman - he cheats by standing in the one
spot to do a slam dunk 

Super Bond
- Stick things together with rubber cement

Super Breakout
- Help the refugees escape from immigration detention centres

Super Bug
- Build a giant Volkswagen

Super Burger Time
- Run away from the Giant Time Telling Scary Clown terrorising city

Super Casino
- Superman is banned from this casino after using his x-ray vision to win
on Blackjack 

Super Champion Baseball
- Super Chimp plays baseball and fights crime

Super Chase - Criminal Termination
- Chase employees around in a scooter to give them their pink slips

Super Cobra
- Try and spit poison in Steve Irwin's eyes

Super Contra
- Try and free the country and outwit the CIA

Super Cross 2
- Mum will be really angry when she comes home to find you've been riding
the dirt bikes inside again 

Super Cup Finals
- Attract men with bigger breasts

Super Dodge Ball
- Create a super dodge ball that always hits the gym teacher in the head
when you throw it 

Super Duper Casino
- With Eivel Kenivel jumping over it every night

Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix
- Fight over who gets the sapphire and who gets the quartz

Super Glob
- Clean flem from the arcade games after the old folks visit

Super Hang-On
- Hang onto the rail on the back of the truck as you're still playing
this game when they take it away 

Super High Impact
- Drop this game from a tall building and it still works!

Super Invader Attack
- The USA is going to invade IRAQ pretty soon (this is void if they do it
before I finish this list) 

Super Locomotive
- Superman will have trouble being more powerful than this train that's
for sure 

Super Marukin-Ban
- Super Mackrel Bacon

Super Pac-Man
- Pac-man fill in for Batman on the weekends

Super Pang
- Keep hitting people on the head

Super Pinball Action
- That deaf dumb and blind kid sure knows a mean pinball!

Super Punch-Out!!
- Go Kostya Tzyu!

Super Puzzle Fighter 2 Turbo
- Work out how many times you have to twist the stick and push the

Super Qix
- More breakfast cereal

Super Real Darwin
- Does it come with a 2 litre stubby?

Super Real Mahjong P7
- So real it makes you pee your pants seven times

Super Shanghai Dragon's Eye
- Steal the dragons eye and try not to get roasted

Super Sidekicks 1-3
- Kick the side of the machine to make it work

Super Slam
- Or you could try this method

Super Slams
- Wrestle other arcade machines

Super Space Invaders '91
- Space Invaders, Asteroids, Donkey Kong, they're taking, over the

Super Sprint
- Try and phone long distance in the USA

Super Spy, The
- Become a double agent and see how many decades you can go before being

Super Stingray
- Sting Superman when he goes fishing

Super Ten V8.3
- 10 flies around the room

Super Toffy
- It's super sticky!

Super Volleyball
- Which has the power to turn all games into beach volleyball games with
women in bikinis 

Super World Court
- Put war criminals on trial in the Hague, but not from the USA as
they're *SPECIAL* 

Super World Stadium '92 - '97
- It's about soccer isn't it

Super Zaxxon
- It sounds more manly with X's and make it Super as well!

- Goes faster than the 500CCs but they aren't as popular

- Oh Supermaaaan! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...

Surprise Attack
- Godzilla shows up in Pearl Harbour to really surprise the USA this time

Survival Arts
- Learn to kill wild game and paint with the innards

- The Thorpedo's own game

Syougi No Tatsujin - Master of Sy
- Master the art of NOT taking your photos to 'Sy the photo guy'

Syusse Oozumou
- A cow made of syrup

- Sliver lion something

- Too naughty Kibo!

- Scan for unused tacks on the message board

- Your job is to put tacks in the war map

Tail to Nose - Great Championship
- Play a dog chasing it's tail

- Gun for ass

Taisen Hot Gimmick
- Comes with a flaming Pikachu!

Taisen Idol-Mahjong Final Romance
- This mahjong game sits around not doing much whilst reading Mills &

Taisen Quiz HYHOO
- Yay! Another quiz game

Takeda Shingen
- Put shingles on your roof

Tank Battalion
- Tanks vs Bats and Lions

Tank Busters
- Cut up the out of date tanks for scrap

Tank Force
- You can pretty much get anything done with a few tanks

- Stop taunting the arcade games!

- Comes with a drinking water tap on the side of the game

- Swap the chewing gum with road tar and watch the fun

Taxi Driver
- I didn't know she didn't like those kind of movies...

- Real Tasmanian Devils just smell and growl a lot

Tecmo Knight
- The metal mixer

Tecmo World Soccer '96
- Spin records and kick soccer balls

TeddyBoy Blues
- TeddyBoy is blue as he gets teased in the playground every day

Tee'd Off
- This game pisses me off

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- This is so 1990's it hurts

Tehkan World Cup
- You can't have enough soccer

Teki Paki
- Sounds like a juice pack

Tel Jan
- I'm telling Jan on you!

Telephone Mahjong
- What people doing customer support over the phone play

- In this game you get shipwrecked on a strange island

Tengai / Sengoku Blade: Sengoku A
- The new shaving solution from Tengai

Terminator 2 - Judgment Day
- Go around firing people during Armageddon

Terra Cresta
- Scary Cheese

Terra Force
- Scary Earth pushing stuff

- The name for the wrist condition from playing this game too much

- This game tries to steal your wallet when you play it

Thrash Rally
- The cars get beaten up enough without you hitting them with baseball

Three Stooges
- This game tries to slap your head, poke you in the eye and throw a
cream pie in your face 

Three Wonders
- I wonder what this game is about? I wonder when I will finish this
list? I wonder why I started it in the first place 

Thunder & Lightning
- Comes with a dwarf in the back rattling a bit of tin and turning the
light on and off 

Thunder Cross
- The thunder is the sky yelling at someone

Thunder Dragon
- The dragon farts a lot

Thunder Fox
- The fox hides under the chicken coop as it is scared of thunder

Thunder Zone
- The room devoted to eating vindaloo is also the sleeping quarters

ThunderForce AC
- I always unplug the AC adaptor for my game system when I here thunder

- Jaws eats exploding candy

Thundercade / Twin Formation
- The arcade gets hit by lightning

Tiger Heli
- The tiger didn't look too pretty after trying to attack the spinning
rotor blades 

Tiger Road
- Wear a mask on the back of your head and try to get someone to take the
third spot in the line when you walk down this road 

- Cut down the other games 

Time Killers
- Wait around for your friends to turn up so you can play Counterstrike
till you puke 

Time Limit
- You can only play this game for a limited time no mater how well you're

Time Pilot
- Fly clocks around

Time Scanner
- Scan the past for the juicy bits and have fun

Time Soldiers
- Throw clocks at people

Time Tunnel
- Hang clocks along the walkway from the subway

Tin Star, The
- That's a pretty cheap star

Tinkle Pit
- A 'cute' name for a pisshole

- This game sticks to the roof of your mouth

- Flick the switch to play an easier game

- This game hits you on the head with a mallet

Toki no Senshi - Chrono Soldier
- More clocks and soldiers

Tokio / Scramble Formation
- Synchronised Scrambled Eggs

Tokyo Gal Zukan
- Try to avoid being drafted into any bad anime

Tomahawk 777
- Throw tomahawks at the low flying planes, before you get arrested

Tonton [BET]
- The Lone Ranger's Indian friend 

- Try to find the leak in the truck inner tube using a kids wading pool

Top Hunter - Roddy & Cathy
- God mad buying t-shirts

Top Player's Golf
- Play Tiger Woods and Tiger Woods

Top Ranking Stars
- Play against the Red Giants

Top Secret
- I can't tell you about this game as it is a secret

Top Speed
- As seen in the scene in 'Chopper' where he shoots the drug dealer

Toride II Adauchi Gaiden
- Shower in the garden

Tornado Baseball
- Pitch to the swirling winds

- A new English collectable with cute politician figures

Total Carnage
- This game smashes up the other arcade games

TouchDown Fever
- Throw up whenever you make a touchdown

Tough Turf
- That Astroturf is hard on your body when you slide on it

Tower of Druaga
- Stack aspirin for a laugh

- A wind up grandfather

Track & Field
- Go Cathy!

Tranquilizer Gun
- Shoot the crazed arcade game players with this

- Convert power to a lower voltage

Traverse USA / Zippy Race
- Race Zippy the Pinhead across the country

- Compete against triangles

Trick Trap
- Aren't all traps a trick?

Trio The Punch - Never Forget Me.
- Punch three times and turn around

Triple Hunt
- Sounds like something that scary evil clown with red hair would sell

Triple Punch
- Punch the judges when they no-jump you *again*

Trivial Pursuit
- What this is 

- Sounds like a fake fashion accessory

- Put this game on before you have sex

- Watch out for the laser gun that tries to suck you into the game

Tropical Angel
- Pull out your feathers to make a fan and keep cool

Truxton / Tatsujin
- That truck weighs a ton

Tube Panic
- What happens when someone spills Talcum power down there these days

Tumble Pop
- Roll your grandfather down the hill

Tunnel Hunt
- An evening with the Cave Clan

- Illegally modify your engine to do burn-outs

Turbo Force
- Don't lean over the turbo outlets when someone puts their foot on the

Turbo Tag
- Pin the tail on the drag racer

Turkey Shoot
- Gobble Gobble BANG!

Turtle Ship
- It's seaworthy but if it turns over on land you need help to right it

- Feed this game lettuce and bugs

- Ancient curse not included

Twin Cobra
- A snake with two heads? All the better to spit in Steve Irwin's eye

Twin Eagle - Revenge Joe's Brother
- Two eagles try to steal your toupee

Twin Hawk
- Screech!

Twin Qix
- Play two drawing games at once

- Two bees try and sting you

Twinkle Star Sprites
- Program star fields for your screen saver

Two Tigers
- Like a tiiiiger!

U.N. Defense Force: Earth Joker
- Kofi Annan tries to get Shrub to lay off the UN

U.N. Squadron
- Look for weapons in dictators toilets

U.S. Championship V'ball
- More bikini volleyball fun

U.S. Classic
- "New US" didn't sell that well so they went back to this two weeks

US AAF Mustang
- Air force Horse

Ultimate 11 / Tokuten Ou - Honoo
- Ultimate 11 what?

Ultra Balloon
- Blow up giant balloons and get a headspin

Ultra Maru-hi Mahjong
- Wicked! Cool! Ultra Mahjong!

Ultra Tank
- Now with three barrels and hot and cold running water

- Another giant robot game

Ultraman Club - Tatakae! Ultraman
- People dressed as giant robots and rubber freaks congregate - best stay
away from this one 

Under Fire
- This game always gets shot by the other game

Undercover Cops
- Watch for the person with scruffy clothes and shiny shiny shoes playing
this game 

Undoukai, The
- Very Un-Doukai

UniWar S
- Fight Archimedes Plutonium for the dishwashers position at the

Uo Poko
- U Poko me with your finger - stop it!

Up'n Down
- This game makes me seasick

Us vs. Them
- The game of opposites

- Sounds like a crappy boy band

VS Gong Fight
- Hit each other with gongs

Valkyrie No Densetsu
- Sing screechily

- Triffic! Ultric! Valtric! Waltric! Xtric! Yaltric! Zaltric!

Vampire Hunter 2: Darkstalkers Re
- Fight vampires again for some followed up reason

Vampire Savior: The Lord of Vampires
- Try and save the vampires from the last game

Van-Van Car
- The new delivery van from Mitsu-Mistu Bishi

- Talk with a bad Cockney accent and star in popular musicals

- This game should go before the other games to protect them

Vapor Trail - Hyper Offence Formation
- Eat beans and drink coffee then run to the toilet farting

Varth - Operation Thunderstorm
- Darth Vader is scared of thunder

- The star is pretty vast

- This game tries to punch you in the nose all the time

- This game tries to get you to finance dodgy business schemes all the

Vicious Circle
- You always end up playing this game no matter what you try

- You can always win this game as you only need to put in a coin to
finish it 

Victory Road
- Where all the previous games ended up.

Video Eight Ball
- The video must have a really deep voice

Video Hustler
- Get Edward Norton as your lawyer and wear the American flag as a diaper

Video Pinball
- How do you tilt it?

- This game shouts 13! 13! 13! 13! 13!...until you put your eye up to the

- This game tries to crack down on punks if you put it in an arcade in a
bad neighbourhood 

- Sounds like a vitamin drink

- This game gets proved right all the time

Violence Fight
- Tautology fight more like it

- Drive a sports car and get your own cancelled TV series

- This game gets yelled at all the time

Voltage Fighter - Gowcaizer / Cho
- Fight to get your overseas electrical appliance to your as you didn't
buy a voltage converter 

Vs. Atari RBI Baseball
- Hit each other over the head with baseball bats

Vs. Clu Clu Land
- All bound for Clu Clu Land!

Vs. Star Luster
- Shine the stars

Vs. Wrecking Crew
- This game lets you swing a wrecking ball into the arcade

Vulcan Venture
- As approved by Leonard Nimoy

- Ew! This game is vulgus and disgusting

WEC Le Mans 24
- Flip your car over for fun

WWF Superstars
- Fight a dumb panda to get your real name back

WWF WrestleFest
- It's fake lions!

WWF: Wrestlemania
- Andre the Giant vs. The Hulk

- Jacko OI!

Wai Wai Jockey Gate-In!
- Operate the gates to start the horse race

Waku Waku 7
- Excuse me for saying this but you really are quite extraordinarily dim!

Wall Street
- In this game you get to pretend to be Nick Leeson and try and raise
your company stock and not get caught 

- You can print out those old time 'wanted' posters with this game

War of Aero - Project MEIOU
- Fight a chocolate bar MEOW!

War of the Bugs or Monsterous Man
- Break out the fly spray

War of the Worlds
- Broadcast a dramatisation from a theatre and cause mass panic

- Play 'The Freak' 

- The Shrub vs. Saddam Hussein

Warp & Warp
- This game is always moving around for no reason

- Warriors! Come out to plaaaaay!

Warrior Blade
- Conan finds his sword

Warriors of Fate
- Warriors give up to easily

Water Match
- Try and light a fire underwater

Water Ski
- This game tows you along and over jumps

- This game is found at the bottom of a well

Wheel Of Fortune
- B
Waa waa waa waa waaa!	

Who Dunit
- The lights go out and one of the arcade games is murdered

Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa
- The cow herds the cowboys

Wild Western
- The bar brawl simulator

- Make a cricket bat

Wily Tower
- One more "l" and that would have been a rude tower

Windjammers / Flying Power Disc
- Try and stop that draft getting in with a Frisbee

- Back to front, left to right or circular?

- This game spouts witty lines all the time

- Make a promo movie for Nintendo

Wizard of Wor
- Draw a syndicated cartoon and see how many times you can repeat the
same joke 

Wonder Boy
- I wonder how this boy can skateboard and throw axes at the same time?

Wonder Boy III - Monster Lair
- I wonder why this boy is hanging around the monster's lair?

Wonder Boy in Monster Land
- I give up. Wonder Boy must have a thing for monsters

Wonder Momo
- Make a wonderful Mumu

Wonder Planet
- Mine the wonder planet for it's wonders 

World Beach Volley
- The extreme sport you haven't tried kissing my arrrrrrrrrrse!

World Class Bowling
- Teach the world how to bowl

World Court
- Take the world to court over some petty issue

World Cup '90
- I found a drawing by my grandfather from the time of the World Cup in
1990 - it has a man hitting his fist on the table 

World Grand Prix
- How do they get the F1 cars to race under water?

World Heroes
- One of the only arcade games I can finish (Play the Russian robot dude)

World Heroes 2
- Fight rampaging gridiron players in an elevator

World Heroes 2 Jet
- Play the above game at 20,000 feet

World Heroes Perfect
- I'm sure it's not that good

World Series: The Season
- I wonder if the players are still on strike?

World Soccer Finals
- The match is always decided by penalty shootouts

World Stadium
- That's a pretty big stadium

World Tennis
- Evil giant space aliens use the earth as tennis ball

Wrestle War
- The US Army starts giving testosterone to their soldiers to make them

X Multiply
- The X's breed to plague proportions

- Play Brian Mannix as you try to bring back your popular 80's band

X-Men Vs. Street Fighter
- Play the roadie for the Uncanny X-Men as you try to avoid street brawls
outside the pub 

X-Men: Children of the Atom
- The children born in Chernobyl after the reactor accident

XX Mission
- More fun than James Bond as you do your missions nude

Xain'd Sleena
- Xena gets teased in the playground by being called "Xena Sleena"

- "Get arf my laaand!" shouted the redneck to the alien spaceship

- Sounds like an expensive measuring instrument

- This game makes copies of other games

- Make robots out of chromosomes

- Sounds like a wimpy name for a spaceship

Yam! Yam!?
- Dig up native potatoes and party


Yes/No Sinri Tokimeki Chart
- Rank whether people like Mickey Mouse in Tokyo on a chart

Yie Ar Kung-Fu
- fight baddies using Kung Fu while skydiving

Yosaku To Donbee
- The famous cricketing bee

- You chew up the den and your dad isn't going to like it

Yuuyu no Quiz de GO!GO!
- Go! Go! Another quiz!

Zarya Vostoka
- Sounds like a relative of Dr Zhivago

- The x's do make it sound more manly!

Zed Blade / Operation Ragnarok
- Ride Zed's chopper around

- Where the zebras hang out

Zero Hour
- When the bomb will go out

Zero Point
- Make black holes

Zero Wing
- That quote is lame! Stop using it for crying out loud!

Zero Zone
- The new speed limits on the road where the babies are crawling

Zig Zag
- Run across the arcade crooked so they can't shoot you

Zing Zing Zip
- Your zip is too loud

- The pig shacked up with the Zebra and this is the result

- Make up predictions for the star signs

Zoo Keeper
- What all the baddies wanted to be when they were kids

Zunzunkyou No Yabou
- Thank you Zunzun but there are no Yabbies here

- The duck gets zapped

- The marketing manager wanted this game to appeal to men and women so he
added X's and Y's 

I would be happy to lose to you at any of these games, you only need to
pay for the airfares, accommodation and food. 


My Tomorrow Series & Hong Kong Movie Reviews Site