Classic Arcade Games you've never played - part 1If you have reached this page via Google and are looking for one of these games, I cannot help you as I do not own any of them - Thanks.
From: Tim Chmielewski (webmaster@timchuma.com)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Classic arcade games you've never played 2003 - part one
Date: 3 Jan 2003 03:25:27 GMT
Message-ID: <Xns92F8932DE5011chumadcsinetau@130.133.1.4>
X-no-crossposting: YES
I know Kibo did this a few years ago
(Message-ID: <kibo-1509990201140001@192.168.1.100> if you want to read
it), but they have updated the list of games supported by MAME and now
there's more names to make fun of.
I didn't know this but some of the circuit boards for arcades
deliberately kill themselves if they haven't been played for a while.
Come to think of it I'd kill myself if I had to spend the rest of
eternity in some geeks garage.
On to the list. Warning! - May contain obscure references, non jokes and
lame-arsed puns:
'88 Games
- Only looks like one to me
005
- The Agent you never see in the Bond films as he just does paperwork at
MI6.
10 Yard Fight
- 10 backyards fight each other.
1941 - Counter Attack
- Help a year is attacking me!
1942
- They made a bad game of the bad movie?
1943 - The Battle of Midway
- Like the two above but you just fly over the ocean for ever.
1943 Kai
- Like the game above but you fly over Kai
19XX: The War Against Destiny
- Do you think they were running out of ideas?
2 On 2 Open Ice Challenge
- Four people try to rip open little ice cubes.
2020 Super Baseball
- It's the Super Baseball from the year 2020 who fights crime and
dandruff!
3 Count Bout / Fire Suplex
- Count to 3 and say "You're Fired Suplex!"
4 En Raya
- Help! I'm running out of jokes already and still have 3000 games to
make fun of!
4 Fun in 1
- Sold under the counter in a brown paper wrapper
4 Player Bowling Alley
- Where's the beer frame?
4-D Warriors
- Who look like this DDDD.
64th. Street - A Detective Story
- A street solves cases and gets the girl.
720 Degrees
- Geometry is fun!
APB - All Points Bulletin
- That would be a very pointy bulletin.
ASO - Armoured Scrum Object
- Help! the unruly crowd is wearing crash helmets and carrying an object.
AV2Mahjong No.1 Bay Bridge no Sei
- Ray Bridge has no Sei
AV2Mahjong No.2 Rouge no Kaori
- Rouge has no Kaori
Ace
- COOL! WICKED! LAME!
Acrobat Mission
- Help the little PDF file defeat the evil overlord of the planet Adobe.
Act-Fancer Cybernetick Hyper Weapon
- Even if it is a Cybernetick Hyper Weapon it still gets beaten up in the
playground for being called Act-Fancer.
Adventure Quiz 2 Hatena Hatena no
- Pub trivia through the jungle!
Aero Fighters
- Chocolate bars go to war.
Aero Fighters 2 / Sonic Wings 2
- Chocolate bars vs. a feminine hygiene product
Aero Fighters 3 / Sonic Wings 3
- They didn't have enough so they're at it again.
After Burner II
- It's so fun watching a jet fighter exhaust we decided to watch it
again!
Aggressors of Dark Kombat / Tsuuk
- and bad spelling.
Ah Eikou no Koshien
- Who is Eiko? What is Koshien?
Air Buster
- Mid air farting fun and frolics.
Air Duel
- Help! A black truck is chasing me in the sky!
Air Gallet
- Holy flying pancakes Batman!
Air Wolf
- Those geneticists have gone too far!
Ajax
- AYY JAX! SIT ON IT!
Alex Kidd
- A baby goat named name Alex
Ali Baba and 40 Thieves
- You don't put money in this game you say "Open Sesame"
Alien Storm
- It's raining little green men!
Alien Syndrome
- I'm afraid you've got littlegreenmenitis, bend over for this anal
probe.
Alien vs. Predator
- It would be more fun if it was Arnie vs. Danny Glover - "I'll be back"
vs. "I'm getting too old for this shit!"
Aliens
- Game over man!
All American Football
- and monster trucks, beer and guns!
Alley Master
- Some professional titles are better not to have.
Alpha Fighter / Head On
- Omega fighter could make it, so he asked Alpha to stand in for his
match with Head On.
Alpha Mission II / ASO II - Last
- 'A' is asked to go on another mission against the evil ASO II for the
last time.
Alpine Ski
- A mountainous region goes skiing.
Altered Beast
- The cows have been eating the magic mushrooms again.
Amazing Adventures of Mr. F. Lea,
- See the Mr Flea jump from dog to dog.
Amazing Maze
- The maze looks more fun after taking an E.
Ambush
- The game that lies in wait at the arcade.
American Horseshoes
- As opposed to the other type.
American Speedway
- YEE-HAAAW!
Amidar
- I wonder if this game involves a big muscly bloke slashing monsters
with his sword?
Andro Dunos
- The new robot in the next Star Wars film.
Angel Kids
- This game was popular before it was pulled off the market for being
rumoured to contain drugs.
Anteater
- Lots of tongue action in this game.
Apparel Night
- AIIIEEE! The night of the living underwear!
Appoooh
- I can't top Kibo on this one:
KIBO : "WINNA! WINNA! YOU MAKE APPOOOH!"
Aqua Jack
- Take this submarine to Cuba!
Aquarium
- In this game I GOT TO SEE THE GUTS OF A TURTAL!
Arabian
- Fun with the Arabian dog simulator
Arabian Magic
- What it would be if Saddam manages to avoid having the sh!t bombed out
of him by Dubya.
Arbalester
- Fun with the stone block
Arcade Classics
- That you have never played
Arch Rivals
- The architectural features are sporting rivals
Area 51
- It's just a Air Force base people - get over it!
Argus
- Who left this wood burning stove here?
Ark Area
- WOW! They really do have a game for everyone!
Arkanoid
- Dan Akroid's game wasn't really that successful...
Arkanoid - Revenge of DOH
...but for some reason they decided to make a sequel with Homer
Simpson...
Arkanoid Returns
... and another one just to milk the idea.
Arlington Horse Racing
- Horses race dragsters down the main street in Arlington
Arm Wrestling
- Just don't play against an octopus as it has an unfair advantage
Armed Formation
- Look! The rock outcrop has arms!
Armed Police Batrider
- What Commissioner Gordon and Batman got up to at the Bondage party
Armour Attack
- Help! Hotdogs are attacking me!
Armoured Car
- It is fun to drive since the armour covers the windscreen also.
Armoured Warriors
- DUH!
Art of Fighting / Ryuuko no Ken
- Picasso fights Dali while painting a masterpiece
Art of Fighting 2 / Ryuuko no Ken
- Vincent Van Gogh versus Gaugain - watch your ears!
Art of Fighting 3 - The Path of t
- Two street chalk artists fight on Mr T's garden path
Ashura Blaster
- Blast em' with Ashura!
Assault
- What a lot of people play after drinking too much
Asterix
- * fights the bad guys and gets the girl
Asteroids
- The sequel to Armageddon more big rocks and diabolical acting
Asteroids Deluxe
- The DVD 'special edition' of the above released six months after as
they were 'working' on the next film, it wasn't just to make more money
at all.
Astro Blaster
- Astro Boy shoots space aliens with his butt laser
Astro Fighter
- Astro Boy punches space aliens with his fists
Astro Invader
- The XXX version Astro Boy and the space aliens after he got to know
them
Astyanax, The
- A bloke was clearing his throat when they asked for a name
Asuka & Asuka
- The cute red-headed girl from Evangelion and a mirror
Asylum
- The source of most of the names for these games
Atari Baseball
- What you can use the old Atari cartridges as
Atari Football
- What you can use the old Atari consoles as
Atari Soccer
- I wonder if you can dig this game up from the desert like ET?
Ataxx
- Someone forgot to look in the dictionary
Athena
- Watch a resident of Athens go down to the shop and gets some milk
Athena no Hatena ?
- The same person decided to move to Hatena for the next game
Atomic Point
- Don't point your Nuclear Bomb at me!
Atomic Robokid
- The fifties sci fi film comes to life
Aurail
- A game about Austrian railways
Avalanche
- You get buried by a whole heap of these games when you go into the
arcade
Avengers
- I weell avenge my father!
Avenging Spirit
- A different name for a Vodka hangover
Aztarac
- the last try of Aztecs to remain cool before they went out of style and
their civilisation collapsed
Azurian Attack
- Blue attacks!
Back Street Soccer
- What the back streets do when they're not providing homes for bums or
shooting galleries for junkies
Bad Dudes vs. Dragonninja
- How did the dragon find a ninja mask in it's size?
Bad Lands
- Recently added to Dubya's "Axis of Evil" where the "Bad Lands" not
quite evil but are getting there
Bagman
- Race your friends collecting cans a shopping trolley and drinking metho
Bakatonosama Mahjong Manyuki
- Times like this I wish I new at least some Japanese
Bakuretsu Quiz Ma-Q Dai Bouken
- Ma-Q and Bouken have a Bakluretsu Quiz
Bakutotsu Kijuutei
- An African mountain has a Greek pastry
Bal Cube
- Watch 3/4 of a ball turn into a cube
Balloon Bomber
- The zeppelin air raid game
Balloon Brothers
- Watch the clown make brothers out of funny shaped balloons
Baluba-louk no Densetsu
- Baba look! there is no Denetsu!
Bang Bang Ball
- A fun game where you wrap a ball in dynamite and throw it to the
kindergarten children
Bang Bead
- More fun with dynamite and bead stringing
Bank Panic
- Start a run on the bank! Crash Wall Street! Cause a recession!
Baraduke
- Evil geneticists succeed in cloning John Wayne and crossing him with a
barracuda, who comes back to kick their arses!
Barricade
- What you do to try and get away from this game
Barrier
- Used to block the unused door in the arcade
Baseball Stars 2
- A fun game let down that there are only 2 on the field
Baseball Stars Professional
- Chew tobacco, get paid too much and go on strike!
Baseball The Season II
- You can only play this game if you put in $1,000,000 more than the last
time you played it
Basketball
- An American game I don't know much about
Batman
- Holly arcade games Batman!
Batsugun
- Batman's U-GUN gets it's own game
Battlantis
- The ancient society based on Batman know living at the bottom of the
sea
Battle Bakraid - unlimited version
- Fight fly spray behind you!
Battle Chopper
- Fight a motorbike!
Battle Circuit
- Fight a silicon circuit board!
Battle Cross
- This battle is making me cross!
Battle Cruiser M12
- Cruise the battle in your M12
Battle Flip Shot
- The brave Flip Shot goes to war
Battle Garegga - Type 2
- This is the second type of Graregga we've tried, it better work as
we're running out of money!
Battle K-Road
- Attack of the K-Road!
Battle Lane Vol. 5
- Even the streets are having a go at it!
Battle Rangers
- Put that fire out or I'll fight you!
Battle Shark
- The rubber one from the original Batman movie
Battle Toads
...with a golf club!
Battle Zone
- I'll fight you, you stinking time zone!
Battle of Atlantis
- Fight a made up continent!
Battle-Road, The
- One road fights another
Bay Route
- A game about taking the scenic route
Beam Invader
- Beams of light invade the earth!
Beast Busters
- WAH! You broke my beast!
BeatHead
- put your head through this hole...
Beezer
- I really liked their song "Buddy Holly"
Bells & Whistles
- Who said this game was all gimmicks?
Beraboh Man
- Ancient man discovered in Beraboh preserved in porridge
Berlin Wall, The
- Build a wall in the middle of a city and start the Cold War
Bermuda Triangle
- Everyone who plays this game goes missing
Berzerk
- Beware of the killer smiley!
Best Bout Boxing
- In your Sunday Best beat up momma's boys
Big Karnak
- My Karnak is bigger than yours!
Big Pro Wrestling!, The
- My Pro Wrestling is bigger than yours!
Big Run
- What you should go do instead of playing arcade games all day
Big Striker
- A big stick hits you if you try to play this game
Big Twin
- The game of that movie with Arnie and Danny Devito
Bigfoot Bonkers
- The Sasquatch is pulling his hair out over this one
Bijokko Gakuen
- Gakunen thought this was a BIG JOKE
Bijokko Yume Monogatari
- so did Yume
Bio Attack
- The Anthrax training simulator
Bio-ship Paladin
- The wimpy environmentalist ship gets beat up by D&D nerds who don't
like it stealing one of their character classes
Biomechanical Toy
- ROBO-SPOT!
Bionic Commando
- Arnie gets a hip replacement
Birdie King
- The budgie rules his kingdom with an iron claw
Birdie King 2
- Go get the budgie some cuttlefish from the beach or else!
Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 18-
- The over 18 version of "Hello Sailor!"
Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 2
- "Hello Sailor!" kids version
Black Heart
- You must work for either the CIA or IRS to play this game
Black Hole
- This game sucks you in
Black Panther
- black glove not included
Black Tiger
- Spray paint the tiger before it wakes up
Black Widow
- Turn your shoes upside down before putting them on
Blade Master
- Fun sharpening swords
Blades of Steel
- What did you expect them to be made of? Nougat?
Blandia
- this...game...is...really...fun
Blast Off
- Try and launch satellites with the Ariaynne 5 rocket and blow them up!
Blasted
- Fun with the blast furnace
Blaster
- Walk around saying "Blast!"
Blasteroids
- Rapping "Blast!" saying people
Blasto
- Shoot up the O!
Blaze On
- Set On, on fire!
Blazer
- Wear a pretty jacket
Blazing Star
- Doesn't already do this?
Blazing Tornado
- Who set the tornado on fire?
Block Block
- Hole Hole
Block Carnival / Thunder & Lightn
- The Tetris Circus
Block Gal
- Don't make fun of her physique or she'll Block you out!
Block Hole
- The sequel to Block Block
Block Out
- Put on sunscreen
Blockade
- What people do to stop this game getting through
Blocken
- Blocken decides to take a break from 'nspeil
Blomby Car
- Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Blomby Car!
Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Car!
Blood Bros.
- Blood! Icky! Lets use tomato sauce instead!
Blood Storm
- What happens if you get a blood nose in windy weather
Bloxeed
- The block takes an E at the party and ends up dancing all night
Blue Hawk
- Hide the spray can from the ranger after spraying protected wildlife
Blue Print
- This game hasn't been made yet as they haven't approved the plans
Blue Shark
- Can you paint the shark blue and live? You must also use water based
paints to make it more challenging!
Blue's Journey / Raguy
- Blue's journey through to Ultraviolet
Body Slam
- Help! This game is squashing me!
Bogey Manor
- Flick snot at the walls of a rich person's house
Bomb Bee
- The evil terrorist bee must be destroyed
Bomb Jack
- Terrorists try to bomb Jack
Bomber Man World
- Osama verus the Unabomber
Bomberman
- Fun with suicide bombers
Bombjack Twin
- See above but in stereo
Bonze Adventure
- What a bonze adventure maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!
Boot Hill
- The hill is made of boots
Borench
- The Wacky Eastern-European strongman
Bosconian
- The man from chocolate sauce land
Bottom of the Ninth
- Ninth what? Monkey?
Boulder Dash / Boulder Dash Part
- Roll the rocks down the road
Bouncing Balls
- What happens if you forget to wear underpants and go on the bouncy
castle
Bounty, The
- The coconut chocolate bar
Bowl-O-Rama
- Stink-O-Rama
Boxing Bugs
- Cockroach fight club
Boxy Boy
- Don't put your kid in a box, that's not nice
Bradley Trainer
- Attach Bradley to electrodes to stop him wetting the bed
Brain
- The zombies' game of choice
Break Thru
- What your fist does with the screen after playing it
Breakers
- WAH! This game broke my other games!
Brute Force
- It's too hard to push the joysticks on this game
Bubble 2000
- 2000 bubbles
Bubble Bobble
- the original description of this game is weird enough
Bubble Bobble 2
- see above
Bubble Memories - The Story Of Bu
- I remember bubbles
Bubbles
- Play as a wacky chimp as you try to escape Michael's mansion
Buck Rogers: Planet of Zoom
- Race around the planet and shoot things in your fake spaceship
Bucky O'Hare
- It's too hard to get the saddle on the rabbit
Buggy Challenge
- You must debug the Microsoft Windows source code
Bull Fighter
- Reading any politician's press releases
Bullfight
- Boxing bulls
Burger Time
- A scary plastic clown tries to tell you the time
Burglar X
- An ex-burglar goes at it again
Burnin' Rubber
- Set the tire yard on fire
Burning Fight
- hit each other while on fire
Burning Force
- Who set Darth Vader on fire?
Butasan
- A hygienic game that teaches how to wipe your butt correctly after
going to the toilet
Cabal
- There is no USENET C*b*l!
Cachat
...in the hat
Cadash
- Kill monsters will a powerful spiked yo-yo
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
- Help the T-Rex cruise the streets in his open-topped Cadillac looking
for hookers
Caliber 50
- The size of the holes this game has through it
Calipso
- This game sounds like a kettle drum
Camel Try
...to get kids to start smoking
Cannon Ball
- That was an excellent song by the Breeders
Canyon Bomber
- The evil terrorists are trying to blow up a hole in the ground
Capcom Baseball
- Play baseball with Hadokens
Capcom Bowling
- Play bowling with Hadokens
Capcom Sports Club
- Where the Street Fighter characters go after work
Capcom World
- Fly in a dinky little plane over to JAPAN!
Capcom World 2
- The only other place you can go in Capcom World is the city Final Fight
is based in
Captain America
...and his silly sidekick Dubya!
Captain Commando
- Big Arnie gets an increase in rank
Captain Silver
- ARRR!
Captain Tomaday
- This captain gets beat up in the playground for having a sissy name.
Car Jamboree
- The cars race around wearing ribbons and looking pretty
Car Polo
- Like chicken polo pasta only more crunchy
Carnival
...of freaks!
Carrier Air Wing
- Not much of a carrier as the wing is only made of air
Cassette: Astro Fantasia
- Astro Boy's fantasy in convenient cassette form
Cassette: Explorer
- One day some will find out why I am doing this
Cassette: Fighting Ice Hockey
- A realistic simulation of an on-rink brawl
Cassette: Graplop
- What some people do on the newsgroups to try and find their name
Cassette: Lock'n'Chase
- Chase down the locks to unlock them
Cassette: Lucky Poker
- What Steve Irwin is
Cassette: Mission-X
- Mission-Y and Z coming soon!
Cassette: Night Star
- You don't see many stars during the day
Cassette: Peter Pepper's Ice Cream
...pick a peck of pickled peppers.
Cassette: Pro Bowling
- bowl and demand a beer rider
Cassette: Pro Golf
- play golf and demand an appearance fee
Cassette: Pro Soccer
- this game kicks you in the shin to get you off guard
Cassette: Pro Tennis
- you must have a mad Dad to play this game
Cassette: Rootin' Tootin'
...Hootin' and Alexander Putin
Cassette: Scrum Try
- this sounds dirty
Cassette: Super Astro Fighter
- Astro Boy goes super
Cassette: Terranean
- Earthian
Cassette: Test Tape
- Testing *something*
Cassette: Tornado
- Every time you play this the arcade gets blown away
Cassette: Treasure Island
- ARRR!
Catapult
- Play this to cross town quickly
Cavelon
- The new moisturiser from a cave
Caveman Ninja
- Throw ninja stars made out of rock
Centipede
- You need 100 feet to press the buttons
Cerberus
- Fight the mystical dog
Challenger
- I will refrain from making any sick jokes about the effects of pushing
a button
Chameleon
- I can't find this game in the arcade
Champion Baseball
- You have to listen to the national anthem being sung by Roseanne before
playing this game
Champion Wrestler
- This game comes with a syringe that injects you with steroids before
playing
Championship Sprint
- To play this game you have to chase it for 100 metres
Change Air Blade
...in mid-air!
Changes
- based on the bad eighties song
Chase HQ
...down the road as it wants to go somewhere else
Checkman
- the person who always pays by check for every purchase like chewing gum
Checkmate
- It beat me! I can't think of a funny line
Cheeky Mouse
- the game that has it's butt cheeks showing
Chelnov - Atomic Runner
- It doesn't do any good running away from an atomic bomb
Chequered Flag
- The flag waving simulation
Cheyenne
- Play inside the NORAD control centre and not do much
Chibi Marukochan Deluxe Quiz
- Chibi puts on a good quiz
Chicken Shift
- Get these chickens to the KFC processing plant to be filled with lard
Chiller
- Cool
Chimera Beast
- How about 'Tautology Beast'?
China Gate
- Build a gate in the Great Wall of China
China Town
- Where I go to the bakery on Wednesdays
Chinese Casino [BET]
- This one beat me also
Chinese Hero
- Wong Fei Hong!
Choplifter
- what you do once they have finished cooking on the BBQ
Chopper I
- I thought eye surgery was much more delicate than that
Chuka Taisen
- Taisen can't bowl!
Circus
- Help I'm scared of clowns
Circus Charlie
- The Viet Cong puts on it's own Circus
Cisco Heat
- Help! The router is overheating!
City Bomber
- This game is now being pursued as part of TWAT
City Connection
- Snap cities together: Boston and New York - click!
City Love
- Las Vegas tries to hit on all the other cities that come to visit
Clash Road
- Your road is clashing with my truck!
Clay Pigeon
...can't fly very well
Clay Shoot
- how dare you shoot the poor defenceless clay!
Cleopatra Fortune
- don't sit on your Asp!
Cloak & Dagger
- not much fun playing inanimate objects
Cloud 9
- you should have seen the first 8 clouds
Clowns
- AIEEE!
Cobra-Command
- What the snake charmers do
Colony 7
- you should have seen the...
Columns
- My mum used to love playing this game
Columns II - The Voyage Through Time
- Blocks travel through time
Combat
- Tanky-tanky
Combat School
- Learn to beat each other up
Combatribes, The
- Beat each other up and live in a tribe
Commando
- Go Big Arnie!
Comotion
- What's all the ruckus?
Congo Bongo
- King Kong beating the drum
Continental Circus
- Continents go to the circus
Contra
- The CIA tries to get rebels to overthrow the government
Cop 01
- You need donut 999 to play it
Cops'n Robbers
- includes a cream pie fight
Cosmic Alien
- DUH!
Cosmic Avenger
- Avenge the rest of the galaxy
Cosmic Chasm
- Help! There's a hole in space
Cosmic Guerilla
- The gorilla from space
Cosmo Gang the Puzzle
- Kramer's puzzle
Cosmo Gang the Video
- Kramer's XXX video
Cosmos
- Anything to do with a butthead astronomer?
Crackshot
- Crack dealers shoot each other
Crash
- what you do with your Dad's car after drinking too much
Crater Raider
- find American flags and moon rovers!
Crayon Shinchan Orato Asobo
- Scribble all over the screen
Crazy Balloon
- You wacky clown! What interesting balloon animals!
Crazy Climber
- He is scared of the ground
Crazy Climber 2
- the sequel of the above game
Crazy Kong
- he was pretty stupid to climb that building
Crazy Rally
- drive the rally blindfolded
Crime City
- A game about Detroit
Crime Fighters
...in their underwear
Crossbow
- you get shot by a bolt if you try to play
Crossed Swords
- Those swords are pretty cross
Crude Buster
- break open barrels of oil
Cruis'n USA
- Cruise the streets in your sports car looking for working boys
Cruis'n World
- as above but overseas
Crush Roller
- A slow racing game featuring a steamroller
Crystal Castles
- Needs to be put away when the kids come over or they will smash it!
Crystal Gal
- Cold as ice...
Crystal Gal 2
- She might look pretty but see above
Cuby Bop
- Boppin' George Hammond
Cuebrick
- Direct films like the late legendary director
Curve Ball
- All balls have curves don't they?
Cutie Q
- Q-bert's girlfriend
Cybattler
- Cy goes to battle
Cyber-Lip
- Don't you give me no lip you dumb robot!
Cyberball
- I thought robots were asexual
Cyberbots: Fullmetal Madness
- They got rust in their brains
Cyvern
- Sounds geeky
D-Con
- go to a convention with D nerds
D-Day
- land on D's day
Daioh
- Die Oh Die!
Daitoride
- probably not as good as Gatorade
Dangar - Ufo Robo
- Danger U F@#$ing old robot!
Danger Zone
- I seem to recall there being a highway to it
Dangerous Seed
- From the Idiot Tree
Dangun Feveron
- Dan's Gun has a fever on
Danny Sullivan's Indy Heat
- It sure does get hot once the cars catch on fire after crashing
Daraku Tenshi - The Fallen Angels
- Naughty Daraku! Stop pushing the Angels off the wall
Darius
- The new language to be spoken in Afghanistan
Darius Gaiden - Silver Hawk
- WAH! You dipped my hawk in silver now it can't fly!
Darius II
- Dari is the language spoken in Afghanistan
Dark Planet
...on the dark side of the sun
Dark Seal
- Balance the ball on your nose
Dark Warrior
- The warrior only fights at night
Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors
- These warriors stalk the absence of light
Darwin 4078
- I wonder if this city will still be above the sea by then?
Datsun 280 Zzzap
- The sound the crappy car makes when you try to start it
Dazzler
- Bobby's game
Dead Connection
- NO CARRIER
Dead Eye
- Sounds right on the money
Defend the Terra Attack on the Re
- Evil terrorists are attacking Re!
Defender
- I can't beat the Hyperspace! Bodymovin' Bodymovin...
Demolition Derby
- The newly licensed drivers try to get home after a piss up
Demon
- Evil demon seeks nice girl GSOH for f/ship r/ship
Demon's World / Horror Story
- Where the demon lives
Depthcharge
- A fart in the submarine simulator
Desert Gun
- point and shoot to create an instant desert
Desert War
- Arid regions fight each other
Destroyer
- WAH! The game wrecked all my other games!
Devastators
- See above
Devil Fish
- Satan Salmon
Devil World
- The World with horns
Devil Zone
- no Angel parking here
Dharma Doujou
- Dharma from MTV gets religious
Diamond Run
- Run you precious gem!
Dig Dug
- Hand Doug a shovel and tell him to get on with it
Dig Dug II
- He's still digging
Digger
- MAAAAAATE!
Dingo
- steal babies from the tents
Dino Rex
- DUH!
Dirt Fox
- I thought all foxes were dirty
Disco Mahjong Otachidai no Okite
- Play with tiles in the disco
Disco No.1
- From KIBO: "Dance while urinating!"
I never want to see Disco Number 2 then.
Discs of Tron
- Is it out on DVD yet?
Diver Boy
- get back in the water and dive for pearls
Do! Run Run
- Oooo-woooo! In the jungle...
DoDonPachi
- Why does this sound like a character from Happy Days?
Dog Fight
- Dogs fight planes
Dog Patch
- Beats up Dog Spot. WAH! Poor Spot!
Dogyuun
- Yuun! Dog for dinner
Dokaben
- Ben gets dokaed
Domino Man
- He is always the first to fall
Dominos
- set 'em up and knock 'em down
Dommy
...and discipline
Don Doko Don
- The Don of Dokos
DonPachi
- In Don Pachi's Backyard
Donkey Kong
- I can't thing of a joke
Donkey Kong 3
- I don't feel like it
Donkey Kong Junior
- Mini ape madness
Dottori Kun
- Excuse me, you left a "t" over here
Double Axle
- Watch the underside of the car
Double Dragon
- Two dragons fight each other
Double Dragon 3 - The Rosetta Stone
- Why would two dragons want to fight over something that had
hieroglyphics and ancient Greek on it?
Double Dragon II - The Revenge
- One dragon's revenge
Double Dribble
- You need two morons to play this game
DownTown
- Can only be played in the bad part of town
Dr. Toppel's Tankentai
- Tie up tanks for Dr Toppel
Drag Race
- Wear women's clothing while driving really fast
Dragon Blaze
- This is what dragons do isn't it?
Dragon Breed
- You need to show them Dragon Porn to get them going
Dragon Buster
- WAH! You broke my dragon
Dragon Saber
- Swashbuckling dragons
Dragon Spirit
- My dragon is dead!
Dragon Unit / Castle of Dragon
- 50CCs of dragon! STAT!
Dragon World II
- Dragons own the world again
Dragonball Z 2 Super Battle
- Why does it sound like they all have constipation?
Dramatic Adventure Quiz Keith & L
- Fun!
Dream Shopper
- Dream about being able to afford anything in the windows of Tiffany's.
Dream Soccer '94
- Dream about playing in the world cup
Dribbling
- You only need one moron to play this
Drift Out
- Someone forgot to tie up the boats
Drift Out '94 - The Hard Order
- They forgot again but the knots they were ordered to use were too hard
Dungeon Magic
- A magical dungeon fights monsters and earns Exp.
Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow over M
- You need a 1561321321231 sided die to play
Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom
- Where the D&D nerds put people who make fun of their D&D games
Dyger
- What happened to the tiger that fell into the tie die barrel
Dynamic Ski
- High tech ski, you can only use one of them though
Dynamite Duke
- John Wayne throws lighted stick of gelignite at the baddies
Dynamite Dux
- don't blow up the ducks at your local park, that's not nice
Dynamite League
- Don't try and blow up the local sports team either just because they
lost a few games this season
Dynasty Wars
- JR goes to war!
E-Swat - Cyber Police
- The Fly Swat fights crime with robots
ESP Ra.De.
- You need it to play this game
Earth Defense Force
- More freaks with their underpants on the outside
Eco Fighters
- What wimpy fighters they only fight sound waves!
Eight Forces
- You need to know about physics to play this game
Eight Man
- A bar room brawl simulator
Electric Yo-Yo, The
- don't try to dunk this yo-yo or you will get a shock
Elevator Action
- Filmed on hidden camera
Elevator Action Returns
- more hidden camera antics
Eliminator
- More farting
Emeraldia
- The green game
Empire City: 1931
- 1931! That's pretty old!
Empire Strikes Back, The
- Say Empire.
Empire.
*whack!* Strikes Back!
End, The
- That's all...no there's more!
Enduro Racer
- play this game and see who can stay awake the longest
Equites
- E quits his job as a joke about ecstasy
Escape Kids
- From the bad babysitter
Escape from the Planet of the Robot Monsters
- Perfect! I don't need to make fun of this name
Espial
- Only just saw this one
Exciting Soccer
- Wow! I never knew a nil all draw and 60 minutes off extra time could be
so exciting!
Exed Exes
- X's Ex
Exerion
- Have fun crashing oil tankers into pristine environments
Express Raider
- Raid the UPS guy's truck for goodies
Extermination
- The Daleks' favourite game
Exterminator
- I would be surprised if this doesn't involve Big Arnie in some way.
Extra Bases
- Needed for when the other ones get blown up
Extra Inning
- What? We have to play *more* baseball?
Extreme Downhill
- RAD DUDE!
Exvania
- A small country in Eastern Europe
Exzisus
- This is an EX-zisus!
Eyes
- Stop looking at me!
F-1 Dream
- dream of the million dollar contracts and HAWT CHY><0R
F-1 Grand Prix
- It's French. Grand means big and prix means me and my mates
F1 Grand Prix Star
- Racing stars
Face Off
- Don't lean too close to the game or it will take your face off
FairyLand Story, The
- You would get beat up for even thinking about this game it is so wimpy
Fancy World - Earth of Crisis
- The World Gets fancy and the Earth is in crisis for not having a thing
to wear!
Fantasia
- Help some stupid cartoon mouse smash brooms
Fantasia II
- Hopefully this is the one with the cool giant devil and not the stupid
cartoon mouse
Fantasy
- Peace in the Middle East
Fantasy Zone
- A magical place where nothing ever bad happens
Fast Lane
- What they need at the supermarket - no old people allowed
Faster, Harder, More Challenging
- So's a car with no brakes but you don't hear people wanting that
Fatal Fury - King of Fighters / G
- Look out! Your head could explode if you get too angry!
Fatal Fury 2 / Garou Densetsu 2 -
- Garou's Head Explodes with rage
Fatal Fury 3 - Road to the Final
- Don't get too angry as you are meant to be studying for your finals
Fatal Fury Special / Garou Denset
- Garou comes back with a patched up head and denser brain
Fax
- You can send this game over the phone line
Fight Fever / Crystal Legacy
- I'm sick, lets fight!
Fighter & Attacker
- Tautology & tautology
Fighting Golf
- Why does this remind me of part of the old Dinosaur Jnr film clip?
Fighting Hawk
- Screech! Arrgh! My nose!
Fighting Roller
- Steam rollers fight each other
Fighting Soccer
- Most of the fighting goes on in the stands though
Final Blow
- I'll be the last to punch you!
Final Fight
- Just one last bar brawl then I'll go home
Final Round
- Not another Rocky movie!
Final Star Force
- Just one more time pushing the sun then I'll go home
Finalizer - Super Transformation
- Transform the last time
Find Out
- what this game is about
Finest Hour
- how do you know? Are you an hour connoisseur?
Fire Barrel
- Don't open without a fire extinguisher
Fire One
- You're Fired One!
Fire Shark
- What happened to the shark in Jaws II
Fire Trap
- Put this bucket of water over the door, that outta trap fire
Fire Truck
- what it says
Fit of Fighting
- Epileptics fight each other on the floor
Flash Gal
- She's not going to get any complaints here
Flash Point
- Stop flashing me point
Flicky
- What the monitor does when you play this game
Flower
- Another wimpy game
Fly-Boy
- launch the toddler
Flyball
- that would be a really small ball
Flying Shark
- Didn't this happen in the movie Orca?
Food Fight
- In the high school cafeteria
Football Champ
- Cheerleader not included
Football Frenzy
- announcer who says "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" not included
Forgotten Worlds
- Where did I put the world?
Formation Z
- pretty boring it's just this:
ZZZZZZZ
Z
Z
Z
Z
Z
ZZZZZZZ
Forty-Love
- Love forty of what? Wacky chimps?
Freeze
- Hold it right there!
Frenzy
- You have to be mad to play this game
Frisky Tom
- Why you should get your cat de-sexed
Frogger
- Do I need you to explain this? There's a Seinfeld episode on it by
criminy!
Frogs
- Froggers not as popular cousin
Front Line
- The line dumb enough to volunteer
Funky Bee
- Listen to jazz and play a tiny saxophone
Funky Fish
- swim in zig zags
Funky Jet
- This jet smells funny
Funny Mouse
- That mouse looks funny
Future Spy
- Help the CIA figure out what to do in the future
GI Joe
- Microwave/firecrackers not included
Galactic Warriors
- Galaxies fight each other
Galaga
- Sounds like a mouthwash
Galaga '88
- Sounds like a bad re-issue of a mouthwash
Galaxian
- A resident of the galaxy
Galaxy Fight - Universal Warriors
- Universes Fight Each other
Galaxy Wars
- See somewhere above
Galivan - Cosmo Police
- Gulliver and Kramer police
Gallop - Armed police Unit
- Horses run over police
Galmedes
- sounds like a USENET kook who posts his crackpot theories to the
science newsgroups
Gals Panic
- Play a rip off of Qix to reveal low quality pr0n
Gals Panic 4
- see above
Gals Panic S - Extra Edition
- see above
Gals Panic S2
- see above
Gals Pinball
- play pinball to reveal low quality pr0n
Game Paradise - Master of Shootin
- Also master of Hootin' and Tootin'
Ganbare Ginkun
- another pr0n game?
Gang Busters
- lets break up some gangs!
Gang Wars
- I wouldn't think people would want to play something so close to real
life
Gaplus
- The lack of a gap
Garou - Mark of the Wolves
- The wolves are pissing everywhere!
Garyo Retsuden
- Gary-O's Retsuden
Gauntlet
- Wasn't this an average movie starring Clint Eastwood, a hooker and an
amoured bus?
Gauntlet II
- I don't remember this movie
Gee Bee
- G goes buzz
Gekirindan
...verus Godzilla!
Gemini Wing
- A crappy car with wings
Genpei ToumaDen
- Gen pees on ToumanDen
Ghost Pilots
- No wonder the planes keep crashing, only ghosts are flying them
Ghosts'n Goblins
- Scary!
Ghouls'n Ghosts
- Help! I've been turned into a duck!
Ghox
- Play the ghost of a fox
Giga Wing
- What a big wing
Gigandes
- The giant robot
Gimme A Break
...I've got 3000 of these to do!
Ginga NinkyouDen
- You big NinkyoyDen Ginga!
Gionbana
- GI-O-BA-NA! Gio Banana!
Gladiator
- Go Russel!
Gladiator 1984
- The future is a Roman sandal stamping on a face forever!
Go Go Mr. Yamaguchi / Yuke Yuke Y
- Go Go Gadget Yamaguchi!
Go Go! Mile Smile
- That's a pretty long smile
Goal! Goal! Goal!
- Three more goals than most soccer games
Goalie Ghost
- What a useless goalie!
Goindol
- Go in doll!
Gold Bug
- What made all those miners go to Alasaka for some specks
Gold Medalist
- AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI!
Golden Axe
- Wouldn't it bend?
Golden Fire II
- Wouldn't it melt
Golden Tee Golf
- Using one of Mr T's chains to make the tees
Golden Tee Golf II
- see above
Golfing Greats
- 10 players, all of them Tiger Woods
Gomoku Narabe Renju
- Go Moku!
Gondomania
- The Gondo craze comes to a head
Gorf
- Gorf from Smorf
Gourmet Battle Quiz Ryorioh CooKi
- Cook and Quiz? Just shut up and eat it! would be the answer if you
asked a real chef
Gradius III
- The third slope
Grand Champion
- t' Grand Champion of t' Eckythump
Grand Cross
- What a big Cross
Grand Striker
- 1000 people go on strike
Gratia - Second Earth
- So that's where I left that second Earth
Gravitar
- Sounds like an old sound card
Great 1000 Miles Rally
- If you had to listen to the boring conversation for 1000 miles you
wouldn't think it was so great
Great Sluggers '94
- What a good lot of slugs
Great Swordsman
- A man made out of swords
Green Beret
- just play the beret, not the Arnie lookalike underneath it
Grid Seeker: Project Stormhammer
- Looking for the power grid
Gridiron Fight
- Don't they do this anyway?
Gridlee
- Awww! What cute Gridlee!
Grobda
- Don't Grobda me!
Growl
- What this game does if you try to play it
Guardian
- I couldn't play this game as there is someone guarding it
Guerrilla War
- Beat your chest and go to war
Guided Missile
- That'll show Saddam!
Gulf Storm
- Another game based on Desert Storm
Gulf War II
- Coming soon thanks to Dubya trying to find any excuse for a war
Gun & Frontier
- YEE-HAW!
Gun Bird
- When the ducks shoot back
Gun Dealer
- One of many seen in Bowling for Columbine
Gun Dealer '94
- See above
Gun Fight
- Guns hit each other over the head
Gun.Smoke
- You have to use your hands? It's like a baby's toy!
GunNail
- It is not advisable to hammer in nails by shooting them
Gunbird 2
- The pheasants shoot back
Gunbuster
- Otherwise known as the gun buyback scheme
Gundhara
- Travel the mystical land of Gundhara and shoot guns
Gunforce - Battle Fire Engulfed T
- Save Mr T from the fire using guns
Gunforce 2
- Almost finished on the gun jokes
Gunlock
- What every gun should have
Gururin
- The USSR's little known first backup astronaut
Guwange
- The singing scarecrow from an old BBC series
Guzzler
- All it does is take my money and I can't play it
Gyakuten!! Puzzle Bancho
- The Puzzle Bancho is very you know what
Gypsy Juggler
- This person must be very strong to juggle gypsies
Gyrodine
- Get it right! It's called a Souvlaki!
Gyruss
- Isn't this a country in the Middle East?
HAL21
- DAISY! DAISY!
Hachoo!
- Sneezing fun
Hammerin' Harry
- The main part of this game is a big hammer that you have to keep your
fingers away from
Hana Awase
- ?!?
Hana to Ojisan [BET]
- Bet on something
Hanaroku
- This is a completely unusable thingymebob
Hand, The
- Play as the thing
Hang-On
- Hang onto the arcade cabinet as it runs around the room
Hang-On Jr.
- As above but smaller
Hard Drivin'
- hard drinkin' hard drug takin'
Hard Drivin's Airborne
- What happens after the above two
Hard Hat
- What you need to wear as this game falls on you
Hard Head
- If you are HEFTY! HEFTY! HEFTY! you don't need the above
Hard Yardage
- Some men exaggerate too much
Hasamu
- what a cow has
Hat Trick
- Play this game three times to get it
Hatris
- Stack hats for non fun
Haunted Castle
- Spoooky! Where's Scooby Doo?
Head On
...your shoulders obviously
Head On 2
- Eww! Who left the head on the poo?
Heart Attack
- This game force feeds you lard until you die!
Heavy Barrel
- I can't lift the gun!
Heavy Metal
- Now available in unleaded version
Heavyweight Champ
- This game really needs an "i" instead
Hebereke no Popoon
- Popoon! Pop uses a spoon!
Heiankyo Alien
- HEY Anko-Alien!
HeliFire
- Help! Someone has set the helicopter on fire!
Hellfire
- I am the lord of Hellfire and I bring you my album!
Hero
- You have to be to rescue this game from the baddie's castle
Hexa
- Don't play this game or you will be cursed!
Hexion
- Ion gets a Hex
High Impact Football
- Play football with trucks!
High Voltage
...rock and roll!
High Way Race
- Highways race each other
Hippodrome
- Hippos race each other in the ring of death
History of Martial Arts, The
- When you attempt to play this game Bruce Lee kicks you in the head,
then Jackie Chan, then Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li and Keanu fakes it with
special effects
Hit 'n Miss
- Sometimes your money earns you a credit, sometimes not
Hit Me
- This game comes with a big built in punching bag
Hit the Ice
- Smash ice cubes!
Hoccer
- trade the soccer ball at the local pawn shop
Hole Land
- where the national food is the donut
Hook
- what they use when you are walking past to try to get you to play this
game
Hopper Robo
- Poke R2D2 with a stick to get it to jump
Hopping Mappy
- A map with a frog inside
Hot Chase
- Set Chevy Chase on fire
Hot Pinball
- TILT in the fireplace!
Hot Shocker
- what happens when you put the electric heater in the bath
Hot Shots Tennis
- play tennis with burning balls
Hotdog Storm
- What would happen if an evil terrorist blew up the Weiner mobile
House Mannequin
- What they use to design clothes for other houses
House Mannequin Roppongi Live hen
- as above but with a chook yard out the back
Hunchback
- what you will look like after playing this very long game
Hunchback Olympic
- I didn't know bell ringing was an Olympic sport
Hustle
- When you start this game it plays the music from "The Sting" and will
not stop!
Hustler, The
- This game is all sticky and the pages are stuck together!
Hydra
- If you try to cut this game up about ten more grow in it's place
Hyper Duel
- See who can stand still the longest after drinking a case of Jolt Cola
Hyper Pacman
- What happens to you after one-too-many "power pills"
Hyper Sports
- As in the duel but you can bet on it
I'm Sorry
...for starting this as now I have to finish it
I, Robot
- When you try to play this game the robot won't let you because of it's
'three laws'
IGMO
- Icky Gunky Murky Ogoogleburlk
IPM Invader
- A crazy alien whose pee bounces twice
IQ-Block
- What you need before playing this game
Ichidant-R
- An ichy Ant ARRR!
Idol-Mahjong Final Romance
- Brittney & Justin try to start something for the last time while
playing Mahjong
Idol-Mahjong Housoukyoku
- Play Mahjong in the house while lying around
Iemoto
- AIYEE! A moto car just ran over my foot!
Iga Ninjyutsuden
- Iga does Ninja stuff in the den
Ikari III - The Rescue
- Save me from this game!
Ikari Warriors
- I's wearing kahki go to war
Ikki
...POO!
Image Fight
- stop punching the mirrors!
Imekura Mahjong
- Ahh Mahjong! Always easy to make a joke about that...
In The Hunt
- This would be a given to make fun of if the game's name ended in a "C"
Indiana Jones and the Temple of D
- Help Indy retreive the golden D from the temple
Indoor Soccer
- Whoever breaks the window pays for it
Inferno
- This game burnt down the arcade the first time they switched it on
Insector
- Can of Raid not included
Insector X
- Oh fun! A porn insect game!
Intrepid
- When you play this game it starts off across the continent
Invader's Revenge
- [Insert anal proble joke here]
Invinco
- Isn't that what Boris says in Goldeneye? "I am invinco!"
Invinco / Deep Scan
- If you try to come up with a list of funny lines for all the MAME games
you need your head read. Go get a cat scan.
Invinco / Head On 2
- Invinco was not too impressed with the head on poo either
Iron Horse
- No wonder it didn't get out of the starting gate, this horse is a
cast-iron replica
Ironman Stewart's Super Off-Road
- I think Stewart drank a bit too much on the way home from the Ironman
contest
Irritating Maze / Ultra Denryu Ir
- What a fun maze!
Ixion
- More fun with out of control oil tankers
J. J. Squawkers
- Is this a game or a department store?
Jack Rabbit
- Jill Rabbit sold separately
Jack the Giantkiller
- Big deal, all he did was prune the broad bean stalks in the veggie
patch
Jackal
- Let's shoot the president of France!
Jail Break
- You must wear and school uniform and guitar to play this game
Jan Jan Paradise
- Not happy Jan Jan!
Jan Jan Paradise 2
...but what about Spike Milligan?
Jitsuryoku!! Pro Yakyuu
...but what about Spike Milligan?
John Elway's Team Quarterback
...and Spike Milligan
Journey
- to the nearest exit after playing this game
Joust
- this game hits you over the head with a mace if you try to play it
Joust 2 - Survival of the Fittest
- horse and lance not included
Joyful Road
- Help! The road is trying to hug me after someone spilled Ecstasy
tablets on it
Jr. Pac-Man
- which few pixels did they change for this game
Judge Dredd
- The judge's wigs really do need to change with the times, this one
would be especially relevant to dope cases
Jump Bug
- Jump Herbie Jump!
Jump Coaster
- A interesting diversion for barflys
Jump Kids
- What Evel Kenievel does with his kids at home
Jump Shot
- Hunt game from a pogo stick!
Jumping Jack
- after someone on a pogo stick shot him in the butt
Jungle King
- The jungle wears a crown
Jungler
- juggle trees and lions and bears
Juno First
- A Californian city gets its first game
Jyanshin Densetsu - Quest of Jong
- Jong's quest to be dense
Kabuki Klash - Far East of Eden /
- A Japanese Theatre star goes fishing
Kageki
- Put Eki in a cage
Kaiser Knuckle
- Sausage Fists!
Kaitei Takara Sagashi
- No way! You can shag Ashi yourself!
Kangaroo
- Tie Rolf Harris down sport!
Kaos
- missed the joke by *that* much
Karate Blazers
- Kick butt in wimpy jumpers
Karate Champ
- Why don't any of these have an "a" instead?
Karate Tournament, The
- Mr Miagui not included
Karian Cross
- Jump! Jump! Karian Cross will make you...
Karnov
- The famous chess player
Karnov's Revenge / Fighter's Hist
- chess player gets angry and hisses
Ken-Go
...to the shops to buy some milk
KiKi KaiKai
- Kick army surplus pants all over the place!
Kick
- the game with the built in arse for you to kick!
Kick Goal
- Break your toe on the goal posts
Kick Off
- Off doesn't like this game
Kick Rider
- Kick the rider and try to avoid the horse kicking you!
Kick and Run
- Useless as a one legged man in a kick and run contest
Kicker
- Ain't it?
Kid Niki - Radical Ninja
- Nikki Webster's next film, beats singing about 'Strawberry Kisses"
Kid no Hore Hore Daisakusen
- I can't make a joke about this one without sounding like a pimp
Kikiippatsu Mayumi-chan
- Kick Pat & Sue all over Mayumi-chan
Killer Comet
- Look out! It wiped out the dinosaurs now it's going make you extinct!
King & Balloon
- The 'Royal Secret' we never heard about
King of Boxer
- Big deal, your king of a bit of cardboard with four walls and a bottom
King of Dragons, The
- Dress not included, bitchiness an option extra
King of Fighters '94 - 2000, The
- I'm the king of the castle and your the dirty rascal!
King of the Monsters
- My Year 10 English teacher didn't like the story I wrote that was based
on this game
King of the Monsters 2 - The Next
- Godzilla is crowned king of Monsterland and it's party time all round!
Kirameki Star Road
- The road to Alpha Centuri has a sign at the end of it - "You have
reached Alpha Centuri, now go home"
Kitten Kaboodle
- Pack up your troubles in your old Kitten Kaboodle bag and smile! Smile!
Smile...
Kizuna Encounter - Super Tag Batt
- Swap you a "U" for that "A" so I can make a joke
Klax
- A sexual act or a combined cloak/pair of pants
Knights of Valour / Sangoku Senki
- Knights wearing brown shiny fuzzy jumpers instead of armour
Knights of the Round
- These knights roll down the hill to attack
Knuckle Bash
- with the hammer - Youch!
Knuckle Heatds
- Get out of there "T"!
Knuckle Joe
- Joe wouldn't like that
Kodure Ookami
- a monkey says "Ook!" and throws kodure everywhere
Kokontouzai Eto Monogatari
- Somethin' about gators
Konami GT
- Got what?
Kosodate Quiz My Angel
- Quiz my angel question 1 - How do you fly if your wings are so small?
Kosodate Quiz My Angel 2
- So nice they did it twice!
Koukouyakyuh, The
- The Kooky Yak Yuh?
Koutetsu Yousai Strahl
- Young Strudel something
Kozmik Kroozr
- Space Crooner
Kram
- The bass player from Spiderbait/stay up all night for the test in the
subject you never did any work in
Krazy Bowl
- Bowling? Mad! Just throw the ball in the direction of the pins and hope
it hits something.
Krull
- Based on the excellent movie with the giant flying stone head - "The
gun is good, the penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds!"
Kung-Fu Master
- Master of some old TV show, not that impressive
Kuri Kinton
- The former US president gets his own game
Kyros
- A game about a Greek Island
Kyukyoku Tiger 2
- Kyuk! Kyuk! Kyuk! 2 Tigers!
Kyuukai Douchuuki
Kyuk! Wash out Uki with this hose!
Lady Bug
- I vill krush yew liek bug!
Lady Killer
- Quite the hit with the ladies
Laguna Racer
- Race the track around the track
Land Sea Air Squad / Riku Kai Kuu
- Land, Sea and Air team up to fight crime
Landmaker
- knit one, pearl one...
Lasso
- Yeehaw! Catch the buckin' arcade cabinet
Last Blade - 2 / Bakumatsu Roman - Ge
- That reminds me I need to buy more razors
Last Day, The
- Schools out for the summer....
Last Duel
- before they both shoot each other
Last Fortress - Toride
- last fortress for 500 miles, fill up on gas now
Last Mission
- In order to go home you have to fly 49 missions, but you don't want to
fly that last mission...
Last Resort
- The only game in the arcade that isn't broken
Lazer Command
- Command a group of poor cpellers
League Bowling
- Bowl 20,000 leagues under the sea
Legend
- Oh look a game about me...
Legend of Hero Tonma
- This game involves a yellow truck
Legend of Kage, The
- What a boring legend, it's about some iron bars welded together
Legend of Makai
- About a city in Northern Queensland (Beable will explain)
Legend of Silkroad, The
- They must have had to use a lot of silkworms to make an entire road
Legend of Success Joe / Ashitano
- Who successfully got someone to make a game about him for $$$
Legendary Wings
- Wah! You ripped the wings of the flying horsy just to make your game
Legion
- The only arcade game that requires salt as payment
Lemmings
- A whole heap of these games went over the cliff
Leprechaun
- chase the game to find the pot of gold
Lethal Crash Race
- Not something that you want to be advertising I would think
Lethal Thunder
- The farting game!
Levers
- pull the lever and a 100 ton weight drops on your head
Libble Rabble
- Only a little riot, nothing too serious
Liberator
- Sounds like a sex aid or a Charles Bronson film
Lightning Fighters
- Rubber boots not included
Liquid Kids
- I do not want to know about your diarrhoea!
Lizard Wizard
- Look! It's Gandalf Goanna
Lock'n'Chase
- Chase your care down the hill after locking the keys inside
Loco-Motion
- Thomas the Tank Engine's game
Lode Runner I - IV
- The wacky drug trafficking game!
Logger
- Chop down trees and try to avoid greenies
Logic Pro
- Try to out logic Spock as to why you should be playing this game
Looping
- Wah! It's just the same screen over and over!
Lost Tomb
- I know I parked that crypt around here somewhere...
Lot Lot
- Salt Salt
Lotto Fun
- Waste your money trying to win a mathematically impossible contest!
It's Fun!
Lovely Pop Mahjong Jan Jan Shimas
- Sing pop songs with the Jan twins and play mah-jong
Lucky & Wild
- Play poker whilst eating from expired cans of un-labelled food
Lunar Lander
- Crash the lunar lander to determine if the ground is soft
Lunar Rescue
- Rescue the man in the moon or he will have to eat green cheese forever
Lupin III
- Something about three rabbits
M-4
- MMMM!
M.A.C.H. 3
- It's a good shaver but the blades cost twice as much as the original
shaver. I fixed them, I just buy a new shaver each time!
M79 Ambush
- Oh no
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMM have been ambushed!
MX5000
- Magnification X5000 is what the Hubble Telescope has. This is useful in
case the NASA scientists want to read over your shoulder.
Macho Mouse
- [Insert Village People reference here]
Macross
- Don't do that your making Ma angry!
Macross II
- Well golee! Ma's mad again!
Macross Plus
- Ma's spittin' chips cos Pa done shot up the Aohell again!
Mad Crasher
- This game runs on Windows 98, count the seconds between crashes!
Mad Gear
- Watch second it's mad!
Mad Motor
- Ow! The motor bit me!
Mad Planets
- Pluto when it crosses over Neptune's orbit. One of these millennia it's
going to be like when the baddies try to outrun the train.
Mag Max
- Watch the spinning hubcaps of doom Max!
Magic Bubble
- Look at the pretty colours!
Magic Sword - Heroic Fantasy
- I once saw "sword in the stone" at some theme park. It was kept in the
rock by a magnet and a chain that was too short to lift it out.
Magical Cat Adventure
- Stroke the kitty's fur backwards to get a wish and also bite and
scratch marks
Magical Crystals
- It's just coloured salt, don't buy it
Magical Drop II
- The chemist who originally smelled the spilled acid must have thought
it to be pretty special.
Magical Drop III
- Don't drop the magician's hat, you never know what could come out of it
Magical Spot II
- It would be far too easy to make a joke about the G-Spot here so I
won't do it
Magician Lord
- God does some tricks
Magix / Rock
- The new band Magix Rocks!
Mahjong
- Majhong and Solitaire are two of the most popular computer games mainly
because people are too lazy to shuffle cards or try and mix up the
playing pieces (a heap of other Mah-jong games elided - you try making a
joke about mah-jong!)
Mahou Daisakusen
- Bitmap flange rasturadouberie
Maikobana
- Mai punches out a banana
Main Event, The
- A game about wrestling aliens in space
Major Havoc
- Minor chaos
Major League
- The baseball soldier
Major Title
- Major Major Major
Major Title 2
- Major Major Major Jr.
Mania Challenge
- Keep the screaming fans away from the arcade game
Many Block
- Many blocks end up on the floor and in the vacuum cleaner bag
Mappy
- Can you fold it correctly?
Marble Madness
- just scatter a bag of them on the floor of the arcade and watch the
hilarity
Marchen Maze
- March the soldiers around the maze
Marine Boy
- The game about the 'Children Overboard' election winning lie
Mariner
- ARRR! Almost a pirate game
Mario Bros.
- Oh come on! Who needs this explained to them?
Markham
- Draw on the leg o' ham
Mars
- Eat a chocolate bar
Marvel Land
- The land of rubber underpants worn on the outside
Marvel Super Heroes
- Batman gets to beat up the other characters who made fun of his tights
Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter
- Superman punches the arcade machine
Marvel Vs. Capcom: Clash of Super
- Wonder Woman vs undead zombies
Marvin's Maze
- The paranoid android goes around in circles
Masked Riders Club Battle Race
- Race carrying a club with a mask on it
Master of Weapon
- what it doesn't tell you is that the weapon is a rubber band and your
have to defeat a band of rampaging barbarians with it
Masters of Kin, The
- Master the art of putting your next of kin on forms
Mat Mania
- Go on a mat buying spree at the sales
End of part 1
(part two coming depending on the reaction this gets.)
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