Classic Arcade Games you've never played - part 1

If you have reached this page via Google and are looking for one of these games, I cannot help you as I do not own any of them - Thanks.

From: Tim Chmielewski (webmaster@timchuma.com)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Classic arcade games you've never played 2003 - part one
Date: 3 Jan 2003 03:25:27 GMT
Message-ID: <Xns92F8932DE5011chumadcsinetau@130.133.1.4>
X-no-crossposting: YES



I know Kibo did this a few years ago 
(Message-ID: <kibo-1509990201140001@192.168.1.100> if you want to read
it), but they have updated the list of games supported by MAME and now
there's more names to make fun of. 

I didn't know this but some of the circuit boards for arcades
deliberately kill themselves if they haven't been played for a while.
Come to think of it I'd kill myself if I had to spend the rest of
eternity in some geeks garage. 


On to the list. Warning! - May contain obscure references, non jokes and
lame-arsed puns: 

'88 Games
- Only looks like one to me

005
- The Agent you never see in the Bond films as he just does paperwork at
MI6. 

10 Yard Fight
- 10 backyards fight each other.

1941 - Counter Attack
- Help a year is attacking me!

1942
- They made a bad game of the bad movie?

1943 - The Battle of Midway
- Like the two above but you just fly over the ocean for ever.

1943 Kai
- Like the game above but you fly over Kai

19XX: The War Against Destiny
- Do you think they were running out of ideas?

2 On 2 Open Ice Challenge
- Four people try to rip open little ice cubes.

2020 Super Baseball
- It's the Super Baseball from the year 2020 who fights crime and
dandruff! 

3 Count Bout / Fire Suplex
- Count to 3 and say "You're Fired Suplex!"

4 En Raya
- Help! I'm running out of jokes already and still have 3000 games to
make fun of! 

4 Fun in 1
- Sold under the counter in a brown paper wrapper

4 Player Bowling Alley
- Where's the beer frame?

4-D Warriors
- Who look like this DDDD.

64th. Street - A Detective Story
- A street solves cases and gets the girl.

720 Degrees
- Geometry is fun!

APB - All Points Bulletin
- That would be a very pointy bulletin.

ASO - Armoured Scrum Object
- Help! the unruly crowd is wearing crash helmets and carrying an object.

AV2Mahjong No.1 Bay Bridge no Sei
- Ray Bridge has no Sei

AV2Mahjong No.2 Rouge no Kaori
- Rouge has no Kaori

Ace
- COOL! WICKED! LAME!

Acrobat Mission
- Help the little PDF file defeat the evil overlord of the planet Adobe.

Act-Fancer Cybernetick Hyper Weapon
- Even if it is a Cybernetick Hyper Weapon it still gets beaten up in the
playground for being called Act-Fancer. 

Adventure Quiz 2 Hatena Hatena no
- Pub trivia through the jungle!

Aero Fighters
- Chocolate bars go to war.

Aero Fighters 2 / Sonic Wings 2
- Chocolate bars vs. a feminine hygiene product

Aero Fighters 3 / Sonic Wings 3
- They didn't have enough so they're at it again.

After Burner II
- It's so fun watching a jet fighter exhaust we decided to watch it
again! 

Aggressors of Dark Kombat / Tsuuk
- and bad spelling.

Ah Eikou no Koshien
- Who is Eiko? What is Koshien?

Air Buster
- Mid air farting fun and frolics.

Air Duel
- Help! A black truck is chasing me in the sky!

Air Gallet
- Holy flying pancakes Batman!

Air Wolf
- Those geneticists have gone too far!

Ajax
- AYY JAX! SIT ON IT!

Alex Kidd
- A baby goat named name Alex

Ali Baba and 40 Thieves
- You don't put money in this game you say "Open Sesame"

Alien Storm
- It's raining little green men!

Alien Syndrome
- I'm afraid you've got littlegreenmenitis, bend over for this anal
probe. 

Alien vs. Predator
- It would be more fun if it was Arnie vs. Danny Glover - "I'll be back"
vs. "I'm getting too old for this shit!" 

Aliens
- Game over man!

All American Football
- and monster trucks, beer and guns!

Alley Master
- Some professional titles are better not to have.

Alpha Fighter / Head On
- Omega fighter could make it, so he asked Alpha to stand in for his
match with Head On. 

Alpha Mission II / ASO II - Last
- 'A' is asked to go on another mission against the evil ASO II for the
last time. 

Alpine Ski
- A mountainous region goes skiing.

Altered Beast
- The cows have been eating the magic mushrooms again.

Amazing Adventures of Mr. F. Lea,
- See the Mr Flea jump from dog to dog.

Amazing Maze
- The maze looks more fun after taking an E.

Ambush
- The game that lies in wait at the arcade.

American Horseshoes
- As opposed to the other type.

American Speedway
- YEE-HAAAW!

Amidar
- I wonder if this game involves a big muscly bloke slashing monsters
with his sword? 

Andro Dunos
- The new robot in the next Star Wars film.

Angel Kids
- This game was popular before it was pulled off the market for being
rumoured to contain drugs. 

Anteater
- Lots of tongue action in this game.

Apparel Night
- AIIIEEE! The night of the living underwear!

Appoooh
- I can't top Kibo on this one:
KIBO : "WINNA!  WINNA!  YOU MAKE APPOOOH!"

Aqua Jack
- Take this submarine to Cuba!

Aquarium
- In this game I GOT TO SEE THE GUTS OF A TURTAL!

Arabian
- Fun with the Arabian dog simulator

Arabian Magic
- What it would be if Saddam manages to avoid having the sh!t bombed out
of him by Dubya. 

Arbalester
- Fun with the stone block

Arcade Classics
- That you have never played

Arch Rivals
- The architectural features are sporting rivals

Area 51
- It's just a Air Force base people - get over it!

Argus
- Who left this wood burning stove here?

Ark Area
- WOW! They really do have a game for everyone!

Arkanoid
- Dan Akroid's game wasn't really that successful...

Arkanoid - Revenge of DOH
...but for some reason they decided to make a sequel with Homer
Simpson... 

Arkanoid Returns
... and another one just to milk the idea.

Arlington Horse Racing
- Horses race dragsters down the main street in Arlington

Arm Wrestling
- Just don't play against an octopus as it has an unfair advantage

Armed Formation
- Look! The rock outcrop has arms!

Armed Police Batrider
- What Commissioner Gordon and Batman got up to at the Bondage party

Armour Attack
- Help! Hotdogs are attacking me!

Armoured Car
- It is fun to drive since the armour covers the windscreen also.

Armoured Warriors
- DUH!

Art of Fighting / Ryuuko no Ken
- Picasso fights Dali while painting a masterpiece

Art of Fighting 2 / Ryuuko no Ken
- Vincent Van Gogh versus Gaugain - watch your ears!

Art of Fighting 3 - The Path of t
- Two street chalk artists fight on Mr T's garden path

Ashura Blaster
- Blast em' with Ashura!

Assault
- What a lot of people play after drinking too much

Asterix
- * fights the bad guys and gets the girl

Asteroids
- The sequel to Armageddon more big rocks and diabolical acting

Asteroids Deluxe
- The DVD 'special edition' of the above released six months after as
they were 'working' on the next film, it wasn't just to make more money
at all. 

Astro Blaster
- Astro Boy shoots space aliens with his butt laser

Astro Fighter
- Astro Boy punches space aliens with his fists

Astro Invader
- The XXX version Astro Boy and the space aliens after he got to know
them 

Astyanax, The
- A bloke was clearing his throat when they asked for a name

Asuka & Asuka
- The cute red-headed girl from Evangelion and a mirror

Asylum
- The source of most of the names for these games

Atari Baseball
- What you can use the old Atari cartridges as

Atari Football
- What you can use the old Atari consoles as

Atari Soccer
- I wonder if you can dig this game up from the desert like ET?

Ataxx
- Someone forgot to look in the dictionary

Athena
- Watch a resident of Athens go down to the shop and gets some milk

Athena no Hatena ?
- The same person decided to move to Hatena for the next game

Atomic Point
- Don't point your Nuclear Bomb at me!

Atomic Robokid
- The fifties sci fi film comes to life

Aurail
- A game about Austrian railways

Avalanche
- You get buried by a whole heap of these games when you go into the
arcade 

Avengers
- I weell avenge my father!

Avenging Spirit
- A different name for a Vodka hangover

Aztarac
- the last try of Aztecs to remain cool before they went out of style and
their civilisation collapsed 

Azurian Attack
- Blue attacks!

Back Street Soccer
- What the back streets do when they're not providing homes for bums or
shooting galleries for junkies 

Bad Dudes vs. Dragonninja
- How did the dragon find a ninja mask in it's size?

Bad Lands
- Recently added to Dubya's "Axis of Evil" where the "Bad Lands" not
quite evil but are getting there 

Bagman
- Race your friends collecting cans a shopping trolley and drinking metho

Bakatonosama Mahjong Manyuki
- Times like this I wish I new at least some Japanese

Bakuretsu Quiz Ma-Q Dai Bouken
- Ma-Q and Bouken have a Bakluretsu Quiz

Bakutotsu Kijuutei
- An African mountain has a Greek pastry

Bal Cube
- Watch 3/4 of a ball turn into a cube

Balloon Bomber
- The zeppelin air raid game

Balloon Brothers
- Watch the clown make brothers out of funny shaped balloons

Baluba-louk no Densetsu
- Baba look! there is no Denetsu!

Bang Bang Ball
- A fun game where you wrap a ball in dynamite and throw it to the
kindergarten children 

Bang Bead
- More fun with dynamite and bead stringing

Bank Panic
- Start a run on the bank! Crash Wall Street! Cause a recession!

Baraduke
- Evil geneticists succeed in cloning John Wayne and crossing him with a
barracuda, who comes back to kick their arses!

Barricade
- What you do to try and get away from this game

Barrier
- Used to block the unused door in the arcade

Baseball Stars 2
- A fun game let down that there are only 2 on the field

Baseball Stars Professional
- Chew tobacco, get paid too much and go on strike!

Baseball The Season II
- You can only play this game if you put in $1,000,000 more than the last
time you played it 

Basketball
- An American game I don't know much about

Batman
- Holly arcade games Batman!

Batsugun
- Batman's U-GUN gets it's own game

Battlantis
- The ancient society based on Batman know living at the bottom of the
sea 

Battle Bakraid - unlimited version
- Fight fly spray behind you!

Battle Chopper
- Fight a motorbike!

Battle Circuit
- Fight a silicon circuit board!

Battle Cross
- This battle is making me cross!

Battle Cruiser M12
- Cruise the battle in your M12

Battle Flip Shot
- The brave Flip Shot goes to war

Battle Garegga - Type 2
- This is the second type of Graregga we've tried, it better work as
we're running out of money! 

Battle K-Road
- Attack of the K-Road!

Battle Lane Vol. 5
- Even the streets are having a go at it!

Battle Rangers
- Put that fire out or I'll fight you!

Battle Shark
- The rubber one from the original Batman movie

Battle Toads
...with a golf club!

Battle Zone
- I'll fight you, you stinking time zone!

Battle of Atlantis
- Fight a made up continent!

Battle-Road, The
- One road fights another

Bay Route
- A game about taking the scenic route 

Beam Invader
- Beams of light invade the earth!

Beast Busters
- WAH! You broke my beast!

BeatHead
- put your head through this hole...

Beezer
- I really liked their song "Buddy Holly"

Bells & Whistles
- Who said this game was all gimmicks?

Beraboh Man
- Ancient man discovered in Beraboh preserved in porridge

Berlin Wall, The
- Build a wall in the middle of a city and start the Cold War

Bermuda Triangle
- Everyone who plays this game goes missing

Berzerk
- Beware of the killer smiley!

Best Bout Boxing
- In your Sunday Best beat up momma's boys

Big Karnak
- My Karnak is bigger than yours!

Big Pro Wrestling!, The
- My Pro Wrestling is bigger than yours!

Big Run
- What you should go do instead of playing arcade games all day

Big Striker
- A big stick hits you if you try to play this game

Big Twin
- The game of that movie with Arnie and Danny Devito

Bigfoot Bonkers
- The Sasquatch is pulling his hair out over this one

Bijokko Gakuen
- Gakunen thought this was a BIG JOKE

Bijokko Yume Monogatari
- so did Yume

Bio Attack
- The Anthrax training simulator

Bio-ship Paladin
- The wimpy environmentalist ship gets beat up by D&D nerds who don't
like it stealing one of their character classes 

Biomechanical Toy
- ROBO-SPOT! 

Bionic Commando
- Arnie gets a hip replacement

Birdie King
- The budgie rules his kingdom with an iron claw

Birdie King 2
- Go get the budgie some cuttlefish from the beach or else!

Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 18-
- The over 18 version of "Hello Sailor!"

Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 2
- "Hello Sailor!" kids version

Black Heart
- You must work for either the CIA or IRS to play this game

Black Hole
- This game sucks you in

Black Panther
- black glove not included

Black Tiger
- Spray paint the tiger before it wakes up

Black Widow
- Turn your shoes upside down before putting them on

Blade Master
- Fun sharpening swords

Blades of Steel
- What did you expect them to be made of? Nougat?

Blandia
- this...game...is...really...fun

Blast Off
- Try and launch satellites with the Ariaynne 5 rocket and blow them up!

Blasted
- Fun with the blast furnace

Blaster
- Walk around saying "Blast!"

Blasteroids
- Rapping "Blast!" saying people

Blasto
- Shoot up the O!

Blaze On
- Set On, on fire!

Blazer
- Wear a pretty jacket

Blazing Star
- Doesn't already do this?

Blazing Tornado
- Who set the tornado on fire?

Block Block
- Hole Hole

Block Carnival / Thunder & Lightn
- The Tetris Circus

Block Gal
- Don't make fun of her physique or she'll Block you out!

Block Hole
- The sequel to Block Block

Block Out
- Put on sunscreen

Blockade
- What people do to stop this game getting through

Blocken
- Blocken decides to take a break from 'nspeil

Blomby Car
- Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Blomby Car!
Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Car! 

Blood Bros.
- Blood! Icky! Lets use tomato sauce instead!

Blood Storm
- What happens if you get a blood nose in windy weather

Bloxeed
- The block takes an E at the party and ends up dancing all night

Blue Hawk
- Hide the spray can from the ranger after spraying protected wildlife

Blue Print
- This game hasn't been made yet as they haven't approved the plans

Blue Shark
- Can you paint the shark blue and live? You must also use water based
paints to make it more challenging! 

Blue's Journey / Raguy
- Blue's journey through to Ultraviolet

Body Slam
- Help! This game is squashing me!

Bogey Manor
- Flick snot at the walls of a rich person's house

Bomb Bee
- The evil terrorist bee must be destroyed

Bomb Jack
- Terrorists try to bomb Jack

Bomber Man World
- Osama verus the Unabomber

Bomberman
- Fun with suicide bombers

Bombjack Twin
- See above but in stereo

Bonze Adventure
- What a bonze adventure maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!

Boot Hill
- The hill is made of boots

Borench
- The Wacky Eastern-European strongman 

Bosconian
- The man from chocolate sauce land

Bottom of the Ninth
- Ninth what? Monkey?

Boulder Dash / Boulder Dash Part
- Roll the rocks down the road

Bouncing Balls
- What happens if you forget to wear underpants and go on the bouncy
castle 

Bounty, The
- The coconut chocolate bar

Bowl-O-Rama
- Stink-O-Rama

Boxing Bugs
- Cockroach fight club

Boxy Boy
- Don't put your kid in a box, that's not nice

Bradley Trainer
- Attach Bradley to electrodes to stop him wetting the bed

Brain
- The zombies' game of choice

Break Thru
- What your fist does with the screen after playing it

Breakers
- WAH! This game broke my other games!

Brute Force
- It's too hard to push the joysticks on this game

Bubble 2000
- 2000 bubbles

Bubble Bobble
- the original description of this game is weird enough

Bubble Bobble 2
- see above

Bubble Memories - The Story Of Bu
- I remember bubbles

Bubbles
- Play as a wacky chimp as you try to escape Michael's mansion

Buck Rogers: Planet of Zoom
- Race around the planet and shoot things in your fake spaceship

Bucky O'Hare
- It's too hard to get the saddle on the rabbit

Buggy Challenge
- You must debug the Microsoft Windows source code

Bull Fighter
- Reading any politician's press releases

Bullfight
- Boxing bulls

Burger Time
- A scary plastic clown tries to tell you the time

Burglar X
- An ex-burglar goes at it again

Burnin' Rubber
- Set the tire yard on fire

Burning Fight
- hit each other while on fire

Burning Force
- Who set Darth Vader on fire?

Butasan
- A hygienic game that teaches how to wipe your butt correctly after
going to the toilet 

Cabal
- There is no USENET C*b*l!

Cachat
...in the hat

Cadash
- Kill monsters will a powerful spiked yo-yo

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
- Help the T-Rex cruise the streets in his open-topped Cadillac looking
for hookers 

Caliber 50
- The size of the holes this game has through it

Calipso
- This game sounds like a kettle drum

Camel Try
...to get kids to start smoking

Cannon Ball
- That was an excellent song by the Breeders

Canyon Bomber
- The evil terrorists are trying to blow up a hole in the ground

Capcom Baseball
- Play baseball with Hadokens

Capcom Bowling
- Play bowling with Hadokens

Capcom Sports Club
- Where the Street Fighter characters go after work

Capcom World
- Fly in a dinky little plane over to JAPAN!

Capcom World 2
- The only other place you can go in Capcom World is the city Final Fight
is based in 

Captain America
...and his silly sidekick Dubya!

Captain Commando
- Big Arnie gets an increase in rank

Captain Silver
- ARRR!

Captain Tomaday
- This captain gets beat up in the playground for having a sissy name.

Car Jamboree
- The cars race around wearing ribbons and looking pretty

Car Polo
- Like chicken polo pasta only more crunchy

Carnival
...of freaks!

Carrier Air Wing
- Not much of a carrier as the wing is only made of air

Cassette: Astro Fantasia
- Astro Boy's fantasy in convenient cassette form

Cassette: Explorer
- One day some will find out why I am doing this

Cassette: Fighting Ice Hockey
- A realistic simulation of an on-rink brawl

Cassette: Graplop
- What some people do on the newsgroups to try and find their name

Cassette: Lock'n'Chase
- Chase down the locks to unlock them

Cassette: Lucky Poker
- What Steve Irwin is

Cassette: Mission-X
- Mission-Y and Z coming soon!

Cassette: Night Star
- You don't see many stars during the day

Cassette: Peter Pepper's Ice Cream
...pick a peck of pickled peppers.

Cassette: Pro Bowling
- bowl and demand a beer rider

Cassette: Pro Golf
- play golf and demand an appearance fee

Cassette: Pro Soccer
- this game kicks you in the shin to get you off guard

Cassette: Pro Tennis
- you must have a mad Dad to play this game

Cassette: Rootin' Tootin'
...Hootin' and Alexander Putin

Cassette: Scrum Try
- this sounds dirty

Cassette: Super Astro Fighter
- Astro Boy goes super

Cassette: Terranean
- Earthian

Cassette: Test Tape
- Testing *something*

Cassette: Tornado
- Every time you play this the arcade gets blown away

Cassette: Treasure Island
- ARRR! 

Catapult
- Play this to cross town quickly

Cavelon
- The new moisturiser from a cave

Caveman Ninja
- Throw ninja stars made out of rock

Centipede
- You need 100 feet to press the buttons

Cerberus
- Fight the mystical dog

Challenger
- I will refrain from making any sick jokes about the effects of pushing
a button 

Chameleon
- I can't find this game in the arcade

Champion Baseball
- You have to listen to the national anthem being sung by Roseanne before
playing this game 

Champion Wrestler
- This game comes with a syringe that injects you with steroids before
playing 

Championship Sprint
- To play this game you have to chase it for 100 metres

Change Air Blade
...in mid-air!

Changes
- based on the bad eighties song

Chase HQ
...down the road as it wants to go somewhere else

Checkman
- the person who always pays by check for every purchase like chewing gum

Checkmate
- It beat me! I can't think of a funny line

Cheeky Mouse
- the game that has it's butt cheeks showing

Chelnov - Atomic Runner
- It doesn't do any good running away from an atomic bomb

Chequered Flag
- The flag waving simulation

Cheyenne
- Play inside the NORAD control centre and not do much

Chibi Marukochan Deluxe Quiz
- Chibi puts on a good quiz

Chicken Shift
- Get these chickens to the KFC processing plant to be filled with lard

Chiller
- Cool

Chimera Beast
- How about 'Tautology Beast'?

China Gate
- Build a gate in the Great Wall of China

China Town
- Where I go to the bakery on Wednesdays

Chinese Casino [BET]
- This one beat me also

Chinese Hero
- Wong Fei Hong!

Choplifter
- what you do once they have finished cooking on the BBQ

Chopper I
- I thought eye surgery was much more delicate than that

Chuka Taisen
- Taisen can't bowl!

Circus
- Help I'm scared of clowns

Circus Charlie
- The Viet Cong puts on it's own Circus

Cisco Heat
- Help! The router is overheating!

City Bomber
- This game is now being pursued as part of TWAT

City Connection
- Snap cities together: Boston and New York - click!

City Love
- Las Vegas tries to hit on all the other cities that come to visit

Clash Road
- Your road is clashing with my truck!

Clay Pigeon
...can't fly very well

Clay Shoot
- how dare you shoot the poor defenceless clay!

Cleopatra Fortune
- don't sit on your Asp!

Cloak & Dagger
- not much fun playing inanimate objects

Cloud 9
- you should have seen the first 8 clouds

Clowns
- AIEEE!

Cobra-Command
- What the snake charmers do

Colony 7
- you should have seen the...

Columns
- My mum used to love playing this game

Columns II - The Voyage Through Time
- Blocks travel through time

Combat
- Tanky-tanky

Combat School
- Learn to beat each other up

Combatribes, The
- Beat each other up and live in a tribe

Commando
- Go Big Arnie!

Comotion
- What's all the ruckus?

Congo Bongo
- King Kong beating the drum

Continental Circus
- Continents go to the circus

Contra
- The CIA tries to get rebels to overthrow the government

Cop 01
- You need donut 999 to play it

Cops'n Robbers
- includes a cream pie fight

Cosmic Alien
- DUH!

Cosmic Avenger
- Avenge the rest of the galaxy

Cosmic Chasm
- Help! There's a hole in space

Cosmic Guerilla
- The gorilla from space

Cosmo Gang the Puzzle
- Kramer's puzzle

Cosmo Gang the Video
- Kramer's XXX video

Cosmos
- Anything to do with a butthead astronomer?

Crackshot
- Crack dealers shoot each other

Crash
- what you do with your Dad's car after drinking too much

Crater Raider
- find American flags and moon rovers!

Crayon Shinchan Orato Asobo
- Scribble all over the screen

Crazy Balloon
- You wacky clown! What interesting balloon animals!

Crazy Climber
- He is scared of the ground

Crazy Climber 2
- the sequel of the above game

Crazy Kong
- he was pretty stupid to climb that building

Crazy Rally
- drive the rally blindfolded

Crime City
- A game about Detroit

Crime Fighters
...in their underwear

Crossbow
- you get shot by a bolt if you try to play

Crossed Swords
- Those swords are pretty cross

Crude Buster
- break open barrels of oil

Cruis'n USA
- Cruise the streets in your sports car looking for working boys

Cruis'n World
- as above but overseas

Crush Roller
- A slow racing game featuring a steamroller

Crystal Castles
- Needs to be put away when the kids come over or they will smash it!

Crystal Gal
- Cold as ice...

Crystal Gal 2
- She might look pretty but see above

Cuby Bop
- Boppin' George Hammond

Cuebrick
- Direct films like the late legendary director

Curve Ball
- All balls have curves don't they?

Cutie Q
- Q-bert's girlfriend

Cybattler
- Cy goes to battle

Cyber-Lip
- Don't you give me no lip you dumb robot!

Cyberball
- I thought robots were asexual

Cyberbots: Fullmetal Madness
- They got rust in their brains

Cyvern
- Sounds geeky

D-Con
- go to a convention with D nerds

D-Day
- land on D's day

Daioh
- Die Oh Die!

Daitoride
- probably not as good as Gatorade

Dangar - Ufo Robo
- Danger U F@#$ing old robot!

Danger Zone
- I seem to recall there being a highway to it

Dangerous Seed
- From the Idiot Tree

Dangun Feveron
- Dan's Gun has a fever on

Danny Sullivan's Indy Heat
- It sure does get hot once the cars catch on fire after crashing

Daraku Tenshi - The Fallen Angels
- Naughty Daraku! Stop pushing the Angels off the wall

Darius
- The new language to be spoken in Afghanistan

Darius Gaiden - Silver Hawk
- WAH! You dipped my hawk in silver now it can't fly!

Darius II
- Dari is the language spoken in Afghanistan

Dark Planet
...on the dark side of the sun

Dark Seal
- Balance the ball on your nose

Dark Warrior
- The warrior only fights at night

Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors
- These warriors stalk the absence of light

Darwin 4078
- I wonder if this city will still be above the sea by then?

Datsun 280 Zzzap
- The sound the crappy car makes when you try to start it

Dazzler
- Bobby's game

Dead Connection
- NO CARRIER

Dead Eye
- Sounds right on the money

Defend the Terra Attack on the Re
- Evil terrorists are attacking Re!

Defender
- I can't beat the Hyperspace! Bodymovin' Bodymovin...

Demolition Derby
- The newly licensed drivers try to get home after a piss up

Demon
- Evil demon seeks nice girl GSOH for f/ship r/ship

Demon's World / Horror Story
- Where the demon lives

Depthcharge
- A fart in the submarine simulator

Desert Gun
- point and shoot to create an instant desert

Desert War
- Arid regions fight each other

Destroyer
- WAH! The game wrecked all my other games!

Devastators
- See above

Devil Fish
- Satan Salmon

Devil World
- The World with horns

Devil Zone
- no Angel parking here

Dharma Doujou
- Dharma from MTV gets religious

Diamond Run
- Run you precious gem!

Dig Dug
- Hand Doug a shovel and tell him to get on with it

Dig Dug II
- He's still digging

Digger
- MAAAAAATE!

Dingo
- steal babies from the tents

Dino Rex
- DUH!

Dirt Fox
- I thought all foxes were dirty

Disco Mahjong Otachidai no Okite
- Play with tiles in the disco

Disco No.1
- From KIBO: "Dance while urinating!" 
I never want to see Disco Number 2 then.

Discs of Tron
- Is it out on DVD yet?

Diver Boy
- get back in the water and dive for pearls

Do! Run Run
- Oooo-woooo! In the jungle...

DoDonPachi
- Why does this sound like a character from Happy Days?

Dog Fight
- Dogs fight planes

Dog Patch
- Beats up Dog Spot. WAH! Poor Spot!

Dogyuun
- Yuun! Dog for dinner

Dokaben
- Ben gets dokaed

Domino Man
- He is always the first to fall

Dominos
- set 'em up and knock 'em down

Dommy
...and discipline

Don Doko Don
- The Don of Dokos

DonPachi
- In Don Pachi's Backyard

Donkey Kong
- I can't thing of a joke

Donkey Kong 3
- I don't feel like it

Donkey Kong Junior
- Mini ape madness

Dottori Kun
- Excuse me, you left a "t" over here

Double Axle
- Watch the underside of the car

Double Dragon
- Two dragons fight each other

Double Dragon 3 - The Rosetta Stone
- Why would two dragons want to fight over something that had
hieroglyphics and ancient Greek on it? 

Double Dragon II - The Revenge
- One dragon's revenge

Double Dribble
- You need two morons to play this game

DownTown
- Can only be played in the bad part of town

Dr. Toppel's Tankentai
- Tie up tanks for Dr Toppel

Drag Race
- Wear women's clothing while driving really fast

Dragon Blaze
- This is what dragons do isn't it?

Dragon Breed
- You need to show them Dragon Porn to get them going

Dragon Buster
- WAH! You broke my dragon

Dragon Saber
- Swashbuckling dragons

Dragon Spirit
- My dragon is dead!

Dragon Unit / Castle of Dragon
- 50CCs of dragon! STAT!

Dragon World II
- Dragons own the world again

Dragonball Z 2 Super Battle
- Why does it sound like they all have constipation?

Dramatic Adventure Quiz Keith & L
- Fun!

Dream Shopper
- Dream about being able to afford anything in the windows of Tiffany's.

Dream Soccer '94
- Dream about playing in the world cup

Dribbling
- You only need one moron to play this

Drift Out
- Someone forgot to tie up the boats

Drift Out '94 - The Hard Order
- They forgot again but the knots they were ordered to use were too hard

Dungeon Magic
- A magical dungeon fights monsters and earns Exp.

Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow over M
- You need a 1561321321231 sided die to play

Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom
- Where the D&D nerds put people who make fun of their D&D games

Dyger
- What happened to the tiger that fell into the tie die barrel

Dynamic Ski
- High tech ski, you can only use one of them though

Dynamite Duke
- John Wayne throws lighted stick of gelignite at the baddies

Dynamite Dux
- don't blow up the ducks at your local park, that's not nice

Dynamite League
- Don't try and blow up the local sports team either just because they
lost a few games this season 

Dynasty Wars
- JR goes to war!

E-Swat - Cyber Police
- The Fly Swat fights crime with robots

ESP Ra.De.
- You need it to play this game

Earth Defense Force
- More freaks with their underpants on the outside

Eco Fighters
- What wimpy fighters they only fight sound waves!

Eight Forces
- You need to know about physics to play this game

Eight Man
- A bar room brawl simulator

Electric Yo-Yo, The
- don't try to dunk this yo-yo or you will get a shock

Elevator Action
- Filmed on hidden camera

Elevator Action Returns
- more hidden camera antics

Eliminator
- More farting

Emeraldia
- The green game

Empire City: 1931
- 1931! That's pretty old!

Empire Strikes Back, The
- Say Empire. 
Empire. 
*whack!* Strikes Back!

End, The
- That's all...no there's more!

Enduro Racer
- play this game and see who can stay awake the longest

Equites
- E quits his job as a joke about ecstasy

Escape Kids
- From the bad babysitter

Escape from the Planet of the Robot Monsters
- Perfect! I don't need to make fun of this name

Espial
- Only just saw this one

Exciting Soccer
- Wow! I never knew a nil all draw and 60 minutes off extra time could be
so exciting! 

Exed Exes
- X's Ex

Exerion
- Have fun crashing oil tankers into pristine environments

Express Raider
- Raid the UPS guy's truck for goodies

Extermination
- The Daleks' favourite game 

Exterminator
- I would be surprised if this doesn't involve Big Arnie in some way.

Extra Bases
- Needed for when the other ones get blown up

Extra Inning
- What? We have to play *more* baseball?

Extreme Downhill
- RAD DUDE!

Exvania
- A small country in Eastern Europe

Exzisus
- This is an EX-zisus!

Eyes
- Stop looking at me!

F-1 Dream
- dream of the million dollar contracts and HAWT CHY><0R

F-1 Grand Prix
- It's French. Grand means big and prix means me and my mates

F1 Grand Prix Star
- Racing stars

Face Off
- Don't lean too close to the game or it will take your face off

FairyLand Story, The
- You would get beat up for even thinking about this game it is so wimpy

Fancy World - Earth of Crisis
- The World Gets fancy and the Earth is in crisis for not having a thing
to wear! 

Fantasia
- Help some stupid cartoon mouse smash brooms

Fantasia II
- Hopefully this is the one with the cool giant devil and not the stupid
cartoon mouse 

Fantasy
- Peace in the Middle East 

Fantasy Zone
- A magical place where nothing ever bad happens

Fast Lane
- What they need at the supermarket - no old people allowed

Faster, Harder, More Challenging
- So's a car with no brakes but you don't hear people wanting that

Fatal Fury - King of Fighters / G
- Look out! Your head could explode if you get too angry!

Fatal Fury 2 / Garou Densetsu 2 -
- Garou's Head Explodes with rage

Fatal Fury 3 - Road to the Final
- Don't get too angry as you are meant to be studying for your finals

Fatal Fury Special / Garou Denset
- Garou comes back with a patched up head and denser brain

Fax
- You can send this game over the phone line

Fight Fever / Crystal Legacy
- I'm sick, lets fight!

Fighter & Attacker
- Tautology & tautology

Fighting Golf
- Why does this remind me of part of the old Dinosaur Jnr film clip?

Fighting Hawk
- Screech! Arrgh! My nose!

Fighting Roller
- Steam rollers fight each other

Fighting Soccer
- Most of the fighting goes on in the stands though

Final Blow
- I'll be the last to punch you!

Final Fight
- Just one last bar brawl then I'll go home

Final Round
- Not another Rocky movie!

Final Star Force
- Just one more time pushing the sun then I'll go home

Finalizer - Super Transformation
- Transform the last time

Find Out
- what this game is about

Finest Hour
- how do you know? Are you an hour connoisseur?

Fire Barrel
- Don't open without a fire extinguisher

Fire One
- You're Fired One!

Fire Shark
- What happened to the shark in Jaws II

Fire Trap
- Put this bucket of water over the door, that outta trap fire

Fire Truck
- what it says

Fit of Fighting
- Epileptics fight each other on the floor

Flash Gal
- She's not going to get any complaints here

Flash Point
- Stop flashing me point

Flicky
- What the monitor does when you play this game

Flower
- Another wimpy game

Fly-Boy
- launch the toddler

Flyball
- that would be a really small ball

Flying Shark
- Didn't this happen in the movie Orca?

Food Fight
- In the high school cafeteria

Football Champ
- Cheerleader not included

Football Frenzy
- announcer who says "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" not included

Forgotten Worlds
- Where did I put the world?

Formation Z
- pretty boring it's just this:
ZZZZZZZ
     Z 
    Z
   Z          
  Z
 Z
ZZZZZZZ


Forty-Love
- Love forty of what? Wacky chimps?

Freeze
- Hold it right there!

Frenzy
- You have to be mad to play this game

Frisky Tom
- Why you should get your cat de-sexed

Frogger
- Do I need you to explain this? There's a Seinfeld episode on it by
criminy! 

Frogs
- Froggers not as popular cousin

Front Line
- The line dumb enough to volunteer

Funky Bee
- Listen to jazz and play a tiny saxophone

Funky Fish
- swim in zig zags

Funky Jet
- This jet smells funny

Funny Mouse
- That mouse looks funny

Future Spy
- Help the CIA figure out what to do in the future

GI Joe
- Microwave/firecrackers not included

Galactic Warriors
- Galaxies fight each other

Galaga
- Sounds like a mouthwash

Galaga '88
- Sounds like a bad re-issue of a mouthwash

Galaxian
- A resident of the galaxy

Galaxy Fight - Universal Warriors
- Universes Fight Each other

Galaxy Wars
- See somewhere above

Galivan - Cosmo Police
- Gulliver and Kramer police

Gallop - Armed police Unit
- Horses run over police

Galmedes
- sounds like a USENET kook who posts his crackpot theories to the
science newsgroups 

Gals Panic
- Play a rip off of Qix to reveal low quality pr0n

Gals Panic 4
- see above

Gals Panic S - Extra Edition
- see above

Gals Panic S2
- see above

Gals Pinball
- play pinball to reveal low quality pr0n

Game Paradise - Master of Shootin
- Also master of Hootin' and Tootin'

Ganbare Ginkun
- another pr0n game?

Gang Busters
- lets break up some gangs!

Gang Wars
- I wouldn't think people would want to play something so close to real
life 

Gaplus
- The lack of a gap

Garou - Mark of the Wolves
- The wolves are pissing everywhere!

Garyo Retsuden
- Gary-O's Retsuden

Gauntlet
- Wasn't this an average movie starring Clint Eastwood, a hooker and an
amoured bus? 

Gauntlet II
- I don't remember this movie

Gee Bee
- G goes buzz

Gekirindan
...verus Godzilla!

Gemini Wing
- A crappy car with wings

Genpei ToumaDen
- Gen pees on ToumanDen

Ghost Pilots
- No wonder the planes keep crashing, only ghosts are flying them

Ghosts'n Goblins
- Scary!

Ghouls'n Ghosts
- Help! I've been turned into a duck!

Ghox
- Play the ghost of a fox

Giga Wing
- What a big wing

Gigandes
- The giant robot

Gimme A Break
...I've got 3000 of these to do!

Ginga NinkyouDen
- You big NinkyoyDen Ginga!

Gionbana
- GI-O-BA-NA! Gio Banana!

Gladiator
- Go Russel!

Gladiator 1984
- The future is a Roman sandal stamping on a face forever!

Go Go Mr. Yamaguchi / Yuke Yuke Y
- Go Go Gadget Yamaguchi!

Go Go! Mile Smile
- That's a pretty long smile

Goal! Goal! Goal!
- Three more goals than most soccer games

Goalie Ghost
- What a useless goalie!

Goindol
- Go in doll!

Gold Bug
- What made all those miners go to Alasaka for some specks

Gold Medalist
- AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI!

Golden Axe
- Wouldn't it bend?

Golden Fire II
- Wouldn't it melt

Golden Tee Golf
- Using one of Mr T's chains to make the tees

Golden Tee Golf II
- see above

Golfing Greats
- 10 players, all of them Tiger Woods

Gomoku Narabe Renju
- Go Moku!

Gondomania
- The Gondo craze comes to a head

Gorf
- Gorf from Smorf

Gourmet Battle Quiz Ryorioh CooKi
- Cook and Quiz? Just shut up and eat it! would be the answer if you
asked a real chef 

Gradius III
- The third slope

Grand Champion
- t' Grand Champion of t' Eckythump

Grand Cross
- What a big Cross

Grand Striker
- 1000 people go on strike

Gratia - Second Earth
- So that's where I left that second Earth

Gravitar
- Sounds like an old sound card

Great 1000 Miles Rally
- If you had to listen to the boring conversation for 1000 miles you
wouldn't think it was so great 

Great Sluggers '94
- What a good lot of slugs

Great Swordsman
- A man made out of swords

Green Beret
- just play the beret, not the Arnie lookalike underneath it

Grid Seeker: Project Stormhammer
- Looking for the power grid

Gridiron Fight
- Don't they do this anyway?

Gridlee
- Awww! What cute Gridlee!

Grobda
- Don't Grobda me!

Growl
- What this game does if you try to play it

Guardian
- I couldn't play this game as there is someone guarding it

Guerrilla War
- Beat your chest and go to war

Guided Missile
- That'll show Saddam!

Gulf Storm
- Another game based on Desert Storm

Gulf War II
- Coming soon thanks to Dubya trying to find any excuse for a war

Gun & Frontier
- YEE-HAW!

Gun Bird
- When the ducks shoot back

Gun Dealer
- One of many seen in Bowling for Columbine

Gun Dealer '94
- See above

Gun Fight
- Guns hit each other over the head

Gun.Smoke
- You have to use your hands? It's like a baby's toy!

GunNail
- It is not advisable to hammer in nails by shooting them

Gunbird 2
- The pheasants shoot back

Gunbuster
- Otherwise known as the gun buyback scheme

Gundhara
- Travel the mystical land of Gundhara and shoot guns

Gunforce - Battle Fire Engulfed T
- Save Mr T from the fire using guns

Gunforce 2
- Almost finished on the gun jokes

Gunlock
- What every gun should have 

Gururin
- The USSR's little known first backup astronaut

Guwange
- The singing scarecrow from an old BBC series

Guzzler
- All it does is take my money and I can't play it

Gyakuten!! Puzzle Bancho
-  The Puzzle Bancho is very you know what

Gypsy Juggler
- This person must be very strong to juggle gypsies

Gyrodine
- Get it right! It's called a Souvlaki!

Gyruss
- Isn't this a country in the Middle East?

HAL21
- DAISY! DAISY! 

Hachoo!
- Sneezing fun

Hammerin' Harry
- The main part of this game is a big hammer that you have to keep your
fingers away from 

Hana Awase
- ?!?

Hana to Ojisan [BET]
- Bet on something

Hanaroku
- This is a completely unusable thingymebob

Hand, The
- Play as the thing

Hang-On
- Hang onto the arcade cabinet as it runs around the room

Hang-On Jr.
- As above but smaller

Hard Drivin'
- hard drinkin' hard drug takin'

Hard Drivin's Airborne
- What happens after the above two

Hard Hat
- What you need to wear as this game falls on you

Hard Head
- If you are HEFTY! HEFTY! HEFTY! you don't need the above

Hard Yardage
- Some men exaggerate too much

Hasamu
- what a cow has

Hat Trick
- Play this game three times to get it

Hatris
- Stack hats for non fun

Haunted Castle
- Spoooky! Where's Scooby Doo?

Head On
...your shoulders obviously

Head On 2
- Eww! Who left the head on the poo?

Heart Attack
- This game force feeds you lard until you die!

Heavy Barrel
- I can't lift the gun!

Heavy Metal
- Now available in unleaded version

Heavyweight Champ
- This game really needs an "i" instead

Hebereke no Popoon
- Popoon! Pop uses a spoon!

Heiankyo Alien
- HEY Anko-Alien!

HeliFire
- Help! Someone has set the helicopter on fire!

Hellfire
- I am the lord of Hellfire and I bring you my album!

Hero
- You have to be to rescue this game from the baddie's castle

Hexa
- Don't play this game or you will be cursed!

Hexion
- Ion gets a Hex

High Impact Football
- Play football with trucks!

High Voltage
...rock and roll!

High Way Race
- Highways race each other

Hippodrome
- Hippos race each other in the ring of death

History of Martial Arts, The
- When you attempt to play this game Bruce Lee kicks you in the head,
then Jackie Chan, then Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li and Keanu fakes it with
special effects 

Hit 'n Miss
- Sometimes your money earns you a credit, sometimes not

Hit Me
- This game comes with a big built in punching bag

Hit the Ice
- Smash ice cubes!

Hoccer
- trade the soccer ball at the local pawn shop

Hole Land
- where the national food is the donut 

Hook
- what they use when you are walking past to try to get you to play this
game 

Hopper Robo
- Poke R2D2 with a stick to get it to jump

Hopping Mappy
- A map with a frog inside

Hot Chase
- Set Chevy Chase on fire

Hot Pinball
- TILT in the fireplace!

Hot Shocker
- what happens when you put the electric heater in the bath

Hot Shots Tennis
- play tennis with burning balls

Hotdog Storm
- What would happen if an evil terrorist blew up the Weiner mobile

House Mannequin
- What they use to design clothes for other houses

House Mannequin Roppongi Live hen
- as above but with a chook yard out the back

Hunchback
- what you will look like after playing this very long game

Hunchback Olympic
- I didn't know bell ringing was an Olympic sport

Hustle
- When you start this game it plays the music from "The Sting" and will
not stop! 

Hustler, The
- This game is all sticky and the pages are stuck together!

Hydra
- If you try to cut this game up about ten more grow in it's place

Hyper Duel
- See who can stand still the longest after drinking a case of Jolt Cola

Hyper Pacman
- What happens to you after one-too-many "power pills"

Hyper Sports
- As in the duel but you can bet on it

I'm Sorry
...for starting this as now I have to finish it

I, Robot
- When you try to play this game the robot won't let you because of it's
'three laws' 

IGMO
- Icky Gunky Murky Ogoogleburlk

IPM Invader
- A crazy alien whose pee bounces twice

IQ-Block
- What you need before playing this game

Ichidant-R
- An ichy Ant ARRR!

Idol-Mahjong Final Romance
- Brittney & Justin try to start something for the last time while
playing Mahjong 

Idol-Mahjong Housoukyoku
- Play Mahjong in the house while lying around

Iemoto
- AIYEE! A moto car just ran over my foot!

Iga Ninjyutsuden
- Iga does Ninja stuff in the den

Ikari III - The Rescue
- Save me from this game!

Ikari Warriors
- I's wearing kahki go to war

Ikki
...POO!

Image Fight
- stop punching the mirrors!

Imekura Mahjong
- Ahh Mahjong! Always easy to make a joke about that...

In The Hunt
- This would be a given to make fun of if the game's name ended in a "C"

Indiana Jones and the Temple of D
- Help Indy retreive the golden D from the temple

Indoor Soccer
- Whoever breaks the window pays for it

Inferno
- This game burnt down the arcade the first time they switched it on

Insector
- Can of Raid not included

Insector X
- Oh fun! A porn insect game!

Intrepid
- When you play this game it starts off across the continent

Invader's Revenge
- [Insert anal proble joke here]

Invinco
- Isn't that what Boris says in Goldeneye? "I am invinco!"

Invinco / Deep Scan
- If you try to come up with a list of funny lines for all the MAME games
you need your head read. Go get a cat scan. 

Invinco / Head On 2
- Invinco was not too impressed with the head on poo either

Iron Horse
- No wonder it didn't get out of the starting gate, this horse is a
cast-iron replica 

Ironman Stewart's Super Off-Road
- I think Stewart drank a bit too much on the way home from the Ironman
contest 

Irritating Maze / Ultra Denryu Ir
- What a fun maze!

Ixion
- More fun with out of control oil tankers

J. J. Squawkers
- Is this a game or a department store?

Jack Rabbit
- Jill Rabbit sold separately

Jack the Giantkiller
- Big deal, all he did was prune the broad bean stalks in the veggie
patch 

Jackal
- Let's shoot the president of France!

Jail Break
- You must wear and school uniform and guitar to play this game

Jan Jan Paradise
- Not happy Jan Jan!

Jan Jan Paradise 2
...but what about Spike Milligan? 

Jitsuryoku!! Pro Yakyuu
...but what about Spike Milligan?

John Elway's Team Quarterback
...and Spike Milligan

Journey
- to the nearest exit after playing this game

Joust
- this game hits you over the head with a mace if you try to play it

Joust 2 - Survival of the Fittest
- horse and lance not included

Joyful Road
- Help! The road is trying to hug me after someone spilled Ecstasy
tablets on it 

Jr. Pac-Man
- which few pixels did they change for this game

Judge Dredd
- The judge's wigs really do need to change with the times, this one
would be especially relevant to dope cases 

Jump Bug
- Jump Herbie Jump!

Jump Coaster
- A interesting diversion for barflys

Jump Kids
- What Evel Kenievel does with his kids at home

Jump Shot
- Hunt game from a pogo stick!

Jumping Jack
- after someone on a pogo stick shot him in the butt

Jungle King
- The jungle wears a crown

Jungler
- juggle trees and lions and bears

Juno First
- A Californian city gets its first game

Jyanshin Densetsu - Quest of Jong
- Jong's quest to be dense

Kabuki Klash - Far East of Eden /
- A Japanese Theatre star goes fishing 

Kageki
- Put Eki in a cage

Kaiser Knuckle
- Sausage Fists!

Kaitei Takara Sagashi
- No way! You can shag Ashi yourself!

Kangaroo
- Tie Rolf Harris down sport!

Kaos
- missed the joke by *that* much

Karate Blazers
- Kick butt in wimpy jumpers

Karate Champ
- Why don't any of these have an "a" instead?

Karate Tournament, The
- Mr Miagui not included

Karian Cross
- Jump! Jump! Karian Cross will make you...

Karnov
- The famous chess player

Karnov's Revenge / Fighter's Hist
- chess player gets angry and hisses

Ken-Go
...to the shops to buy some milk

KiKi KaiKai
- Kick army surplus pants all over the place!

Kick
- the game with the built in arse for you to kick!

Kick Goal
- Break your toe on the goal posts

Kick Off
- Off doesn't like this game

Kick Rider
- Kick the rider and try to avoid the horse kicking you!

Kick and Run
- Useless as a one legged man in a kick and run contest

Kicker
- Ain't it?

Kid Niki - Radical Ninja
- Nikki Webster's next film, beats singing about 'Strawberry Kisses"

Kid no Hore Hore Daisakusen
- I can't make a joke about this one without sounding like a pimp

Kikiippatsu Mayumi-chan
- Kick Pat & Sue all over Mayumi-chan

Killer Comet
- Look out! It wiped out the dinosaurs now it's going make you extinct!

King & Balloon
- The 'Royal Secret' we never heard about

King of Boxer
- Big deal, your king of a bit of cardboard with four walls and a bottom

King of Dragons, The
- Dress not included, bitchiness an option extra

King of Fighters '94 - 2000, The
- I'm the king of the castle and your the dirty rascal!

King of the Monsters
- My Year 10 English teacher didn't like the story I wrote that was based
on this game 

King of the Monsters 2 - The Next
- Godzilla is crowned king of Monsterland and it's party time all round!

Kirameki Star Road
- The road to Alpha Centuri has a sign at the end of it - "You have
reached Alpha Centuri, now go home" 

Kitten Kaboodle
- Pack up your troubles in your old Kitten Kaboodle bag and smile! Smile!
Smile... 

Kizuna Encounter - Super Tag Batt
- Swap you a "U" for that "A" so I can make a joke

Klax
- A sexual act or a combined cloak/pair of pants

Knights of Valour / Sangoku Senki
- Knights wearing brown shiny fuzzy jumpers instead of armour

Knights of the Round
- These knights roll down the hill to attack

Knuckle Bash
- with the hammer - Youch!

Knuckle Heatds
- Get out of there "T"!

Knuckle Joe
- Joe wouldn't like that

Kodure Ookami
- a monkey says "Ook!" and throws kodure everywhere

Kokontouzai Eto Monogatari
- Somethin' about gators

Konami GT
- Got what?

Kosodate Quiz My Angel
- Quiz my angel question 1 - How do you fly if your wings are so small?

Kosodate Quiz My Angel 2
- So nice they did it twice!

Koukouyakyuh, The
- The Kooky Yak Yuh?

Koutetsu Yousai Strahl
- Young Strudel something

Kozmik Kroozr
- Space Crooner

Kram
- The bass player from Spiderbait/stay up all night for the test in the
subject you never did any work in

Krazy Bowl
- Bowling? Mad! Just throw the ball in the direction of the pins and hope
it hits something. 

Krull
- Based on the excellent movie with the giant flying stone head - "The
gun is good, the penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds!" 

Kung-Fu Master
- Master of some old TV show, not that impressive

Kuri Kinton
- The former US president gets his own game

Kyros
- A game about a Greek Island

Kyukyoku Tiger 2
- Kyuk! Kyuk! Kyuk! 2 Tigers!

Kyuukai Douchuuki
Kyuk! Wash out Uki with this hose!

Lady Bug
- I vill krush yew liek bug!

Lady Killer
- Quite the hit with the ladies

Laguna Racer
- Race the track around the track

Land Sea Air Squad / Riku Kai Kuu
- Land, Sea and Air team up to fight crime

Landmaker
- knit one, pearl one...

Lasso
- Yeehaw! Catch the buckin' arcade cabinet

Last Blade - 2 / Bakumatsu Roman - Ge
- That reminds me I need to buy more razors

Last Day, The
- Schools out for the summer....

Last Duel
- before they both shoot each other

Last Fortress - Toride
- last fortress for 500 miles, fill up on gas now

Last Mission
- In order to go home you have to fly 49 missions, but you don't want to
fly that last mission... 

Last Resort
- The only game in the arcade that isn't broken

Lazer Command
- Command a group of poor cpellers

League Bowling
- Bowl 20,000 leagues under the sea

Legend
- Oh look a game about me...

Legend of Hero Tonma
- This game involves a yellow truck

Legend of Kage, The
- What a boring legend, it's about some iron bars welded together

Legend of Makai
- About a city in Northern Queensland (Beable will explain)

Legend of Silkroad, The
- They must have had to use a lot of silkworms to make an entire road

Legend of Success Joe / Ashitano
- Who successfully got someone to make a game about him for $$$

Legendary Wings
- Wah! You ripped the wings of the flying horsy just to make your game

Legion
- The only arcade game that requires salt as payment

Lemmings
- A whole heap of these games went over the cliff

Leprechaun
- chase the game to find the pot of gold

Lethal Crash Race
- Not something that you want to be advertising I would think

Lethal Thunder
- The farting game!

Levers
- pull the lever and a 100 ton weight drops on your head

Libble Rabble
- Only a little riot, nothing too serious

Liberator
- Sounds like a sex aid or a Charles Bronson film

Lightning Fighters
- Rubber boots not included

Liquid Kids
- I do not want to know about your diarrhoea!

Lizard Wizard
- Look! It's Gandalf Goanna

Lock'n'Chase
- Chase your care down the hill after locking the keys inside

Loco-Motion
- Thomas the Tank Engine's game

Lode Runner I - IV
- The wacky drug trafficking game!

Logger
- Chop down trees and try to avoid greenies

Logic Pro
- Try to out logic Spock as to why you should be playing this game

Looping
- Wah! It's just the same screen over and over!

Lost Tomb
- I know I parked that crypt around here somewhere...

Lot Lot
- Salt Salt

Lotto Fun
- Waste your money trying to win a mathematically impossible contest!
It's Fun! 

Lovely Pop Mahjong Jan Jan Shimas
- Sing pop songs with the Jan twins and play mah-jong

Lucky & Wild
- Play poker whilst eating from expired cans of un-labelled food

Lunar Lander
- Crash the lunar lander to determine if the ground is soft

Lunar Rescue
- Rescue the man in the moon or he will have to eat green cheese forever

Lupin III
- Something about three rabbits

M-4
- MMMM!

M.A.C.H. 3
- It's a good shaver but the blades cost twice as much as the original
shaver. I fixed them, I just buy a new shaver each time! 

M79 Ambush
- Oh no
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMM have been ambushed! 

MX5000
- Magnification X5000 is what the Hubble Telescope has. This is useful in
case the NASA scientists want to read over your shoulder. 

Macho Mouse
- [Insert Village People reference here]

Macross
- Don't do that your making Ma angry!

Macross II
- Well golee! Ma's mad again!

Macross Plus
- Ma's spittin' chips cos Pa done shot up the Aohell again!

Mad Crasher
- This game runs on Windows 98, count the seconds between crashes!

Mad Gear
- Watch second it's mad!

Mad Motor
- Ow! The motor bit me!

Mad Planets
- Pluto when it crosses over Neptune's orbit. One of these millennia it's
going to be like when the baddies try to outrun the train.

Mag Max
- Watch the spinning hubcaps of doom Max!

Magic Bubble
- Look at the pretty colours!

Magic Sword - Heroic Fantasy
- I once saw "sword in the stone" at some theme park. It was kept in the
rock by a magnet and a chain that was too short to lift it out. 

Magical Cat Adventure
- Stroke the kitty's fur backwards to get a wish and also bite and
scratch marks 

Magical Crystals
- It's just coloured salt, don't buy it

Magical Drop II
- The chemist who originally smelled the spilled acid must have thought
it to be pretty special. 

Magical Drop III
- Don't drop the magician's hat, you never know what could come out of it

Magical Spot II
- It would be far too easy to make a joke about the G-Spot here so I
won't do it 

Magician Lord
- God does some tricks

Magix / Rock
- The new band Magix Rocks!

Mahjong
- Majhong and Solitaire are two of the most popular computer games mainly
because people are too lazy to shuffle cards or try and mix up the
playing pieces (a heap of other Mah-jong games elided - you try making a
joke about mah-jong!) 

Mahou Daisakusen
- Bitmap flange rasturadouberie

Maikobana
- Mai punches out a banana

Main Event, The
- A game about wrestling aliens in space

Major Havoc
- Minor chaos

Major League
- The baseball soldier

Major Title
- Major Major Major

Major Title 2
- Major Major Major Jr.

Mania Challenge
- Keep the screaming fans away from the arcade game

Many Block
- Many blocks end up on the floor and in the vacuum cleaner bag

Mappy
- Can you fold it correctly?

Marble Madness
- just scatter a bag of them on the floor of the arcade and watch the
hilarity 

Marchen Maze
- March the soldiers around the maze

Marine Boy
- The game about the 'Children Overboard' election winning lie

Mariner
- ARRR! Almost a pirate game

Mario Bros.
- Oh come on! Who needs this explained to them?

Markham
- Draw on the leg o' ham

Mars
- Eat a chocolate bar

Marvel Land
- The land of rubber underpants worn on the outside

Marvel Super Heroes
- Batman gets to beat up the other characters who made fun of his tights

Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter
- Superman punches the arcade machine

Marvel Vs. Capcom: Clash of Super
- Wonder Woman vs undead zombies

Marvin's Maze
- The paranoid android goes around in circles

Masked Riders Club Battle Race
- Race carrying a club with a mask on it

Master of Weapon
- what it doesn't tell you is that the weapon is a rubber band and your
have to defeat a band of rampaging barbarians with it

Masters of Kin, The
- Master the art of putting your next of kin on forms

Mat Mania
- Go on a mat buying spree at the sales

End of part 1
(part two coming depending on the reaction this gets.)


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