Classic Arcade Games you've never played - part 1If you have reached this page via Google and are looking for one of these games, I cannot help you as I do not own any of them - Thanks.
From: Tim Chmielewski (firstname.lastname@example.org) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Classic arcade games you've never played 2003 - part one Date: 3 Jan 2003 03:25:27 GMT Message-ID: <Xns92F8932DE5011chumadcsinetau@188.8.131.52> X-no-crossposting: YES I know Kibo did this a few years ago (Message-ID: <email@example.com> if you want to read it), but they have updated the list of games supported by MAME and now there's more names to make fun of. I didn't know this but some of the circuit boards for arcades deliberately kill themselves if they haven't been played for a while. Come to think of it I'd kill myself if I had to spend the rest of eternity in some geeks garage. On to the list. Warning! - May contain obscure references, non jokes and lame-arsed puns: '88 Games - Only looks like one to me 005 - The Agent you never see in the Bond films as he just does paperwork at MI6. 10 Yard Fight - 10 backyards fight each other. 1941 - Counter Attack - Help a year is attacking me! 1942 - They made a bad game of the bad movie? 1943 - The Battle of Midway - Like the two above but you just fly over the ocean for ever. 1943 Kai - Like the game above but you fly over Kai 19XX: The War Against Destiny - Do you think they were running out of ideas? 2 On 2 Open Ice Challenge - Four people try to rip open little ice cubes. 2020 Super Baseball - It's the Super Baseball from the year 2020 who fights crime and dandruff! 3 Count Bout / Fire Suplex - Count to 3 and say "You're Fired Suplex!" 4 En Raya - Help! I'm running out of jokes already and still have 3000 games to make fun of! 4 Fun in 1 - Sold under the counter in a brown paper wrapper 4 Player Bowling Alley - Where's the beer frame? 4-D Warriors - Who look like this DDDD. 64th. Street - A Detective Story - A street solves cases and gets the girl. 720 Degrees - Geometry is fun! APB - All Points Bulletin - That would be a very pointy bulletin. ASO - Armoured Scrum Object - Help! the unruly crowd is wearing crash helmets and carrying an object. AV2Mahjong No.1 Bay Bridge no Sei - Ray Bridge has no Sei AV2Mahjong No.2 Rouge no Kaori - Rouge has no Kaori Ace - COOL! WICKED! LAME! Acrobat Mission - Help the little PDF file defeat the evil overlord of the planet Adobe. Act-Fancer Cybernetick Hyper Weapon - Even if it is a Cybernetick Hyper Weapon it still gets beaten up in the playground for being called Act-Fancer. Adventure Quiz 2 Hatena Hatena no - Pub trivia through the jungle! Aero Fighters - Chocolate bars go to war. Aero Fighters 2 / Sonic Wings 2 - Chocolate bars vs. a feminine hygiene product Aero Fighters 3 / Sonic Wings 3 - They didn't have enough so they're at it again. After Burner II - It's so fun watching a jet fighter exhaust we decided to watch it again! Aggressors of Dark Kombat / Tsuuk - and bad spelling. Ah Eikou no Koshien - Who is Eiko? What is Koshien? Air Buster - Mid air farting fun and frolics. Air Duel - Help! A black truck is chasing me in the sky! Air Gallet - Holy flying pancakes Batman! Air Wolf - Those geneticists have gone too far! Ajax - AYY JAX! SIT ON IT! Alex Kidd - A baby goat named name Alex Ali Baba and 40 Thieves - You don't put money in this game you say "Open Sesame" Alien Storm - It's raining little green men! Alien Syndrome - I'm afraid you've got littlegreenmenitis, bend over for this anal probe. Alien vs. Predator - It would be more fun if it was Arnie vs. Danny Glover - "I'll be back" vs. "I'm getting too old for this shit!" Aliens - Game over man! All American Football - and monster trucks, beer and guns! Alley Master - Some professional titles are better not to have. Alpha Fighter / Head On - Omega fighter could make it, so he asked Alpha to stand in for his match with Head On. Alpha Mission II / ASO II - Last - 'A' is asked to go on another mission against the evil ASO II for the last time. Alpine Ski - A mountainous region goes skiing. Altered Beast - The cows have been eating the magic mushrooms again. Amazing Adventures of Mr. F. Lea, - See the Mr Flea jump from dog to dog. Amazing Maze - The maze looks more fun after taking an E. Ambush - The game that lies in wait at the arcade. American Horseshoes - As opposed to the other type. American Speedway - YEE-HAAAW! Amidar - I wonder if this game involves a big muscly bloke slashing monsters with his sword? Andro Dunos - The new robot in the next Star Wars film. Angel Kids - This game was popular before it was pulled off the market for being rumoured to contain drugs. Anteater - Lots of tongue action in this game. Apparel Night - AIIIEEE! The night of the living underwear! Appoooh - I can't top Kibo on this one: KIBO : "WINNA! WINNA! YOU MAKE APPOOOH!" Aqua Jack - Take this submarine to Cuba! Aquarium - In this game I GOT TO SEE THE GUTS OF A TURTAL! Arabian - Fun with the Arabian dog simulator Arabian Magic - What it would be if Saddam manages to avoid having the sh!t bombed out of him by Dubya. Arbalester - Fun with the stone block Arcade Classics - That you have never played Arch Rivals - The architectural features are sporting rivals Area 51 - It's just a Air Force base people - get over it! Argus - Who left this wood burning stove here? Ark Area - WOW! They really do have a game for everyone! Arkanoid - Dan Akroid's game wasn't really that successful... Arkanoid - Revenge of DOH ...but for some reason they decided to make a sequel with Homer Simpson... Arkanoid Returns ... and another one just to milk the idea. Arlington Horse Racing - Horses race dragsters down the main street in Arlington Arm Wrestling - Just don't play against an octopus as it has an unfair advantage Armed Formation - Look! The rock outcrop has arms! Armed Police Batrider - What Commissioner Gordon and Batman got up to at the Bondage party Armour Attack - Help! Hotdogs are attacking me! Armoured Car - It is fun to drive since the armour covers the windscreen also. Armoured Warriors - DUH! Art of Fighting / Ryuuko no Ken - Picasso fights Dali while painting a masterpiece Art of Fighting 2 / Ryuuko no Ken - Vincent Van Gogh versus Gaugain - watch your ears! Art of Fighting 3 - The Path of t - Two street chalk artists fight on Mr T's garden path Ashura Blaster - Blast em' with Ashura! Assault - What a lot of people play after drinking too much Asterix - * fights the bad guys and gets the girl Asteroids - The sequel to Armageddon more big rocks and diabolical acting Asteroids Deluxe - The DVD 'special edition' of the above released six months after as they were 'working' on the next film, it wasn't just to make more money at all. Astro Blaster - Astro Boy shoots space aliens with his butt laser Astro Fighter - Astro Boy punches space aliens with his fists Astro Invader - The XXX version Astro Boy and the space aliens after he got to know them Astyanax, The - A bloke was clearing his throat when they asked for a name Asuka & Asuka - The cute red-headed girl from Evangelion and a mirror Asylum - The source of most of the names for these games Atari Baseball - What you can use the old Atari cartridges as Atari Football - What you can use the old Atari consoles as Atari Soccer - I wonder if you can dig this game up from the desert like ET? Ataxx - Someone forgot to look in the dictionary Athena - Watch a resident of Athens go down to the shop and gets some milk Athena no Hatena ? - The same person decided to move to Hatena for the next game Atomic Point - Don't point your Nuclear Bomb at me! Atomic Robokid - The fifties sci fi film comes to life Aurail - A game about Austrian railways Avalanche - You get buried by a whole heap of these games when you go into the arcade Avengers - I weell avenge my father! Avenging Spirit - A different name for a Vodka hangover Aztarac - the last try of Aztecs to remain cool before they went out of style and their civilisation collapsed Azurian Attack - Blue attacks! Back Street Soccer - What the back streets do when they're not providing homes for bums or shooting galleries for junkies Bad Dudes vs. Dragonninja - How did the dragon find a ninja mask in it's size? Bad Lands - Recently added to Dubya's "Axis of Evil" where the "Bad Lands" not quite evil but are getting there Bagman - Race your friends collecting cans a shopping trolley and drinking metho Bakatonosama Mahjong Manyuki - Times like this I wish I new at least some Japanese Bakuretsu Quiz Ma-Q Dai Bouken - Ma-Q and Bouken have a Bakluretsu Quiz Bakutotsu Kijuutei - An African mountain has a Greek pastry Bal Cube - Watch 3/4 of a ball turn into a cube Balloon Bomber - The zeppelin air raid game Balloon Brothers - Watch the clown make brothers out of funny shaped balloons Baluba-louk no Densetsu - Baba look! there is no Denetsu! Bang Bang Ball - A fun game where you wrap a ball in dynamite and throw it to the kindergarten children Bang Bead - More fun with dynamite and bead stringing Bank Panic - Start a run on the bank! Crash Wall Street! Cause a recession! Baraduke - Evil geneticists succeed in cloning John Wayne and crossing him with a barracuda, who comes back to kick their arses! Barricade - What you do to try and get away from this game Barrier - Used to block the unused door in the arcade Baseball Stars 2 - A fun game let down that there are only 2 on the field Baseball Stars Professional - Chew tobacco, get paid too much and go on strike! Baseball The Season II - You can only play this game if you put in $1,000,000 more than the last time you played it Basketball - An American game I don't know much about Batman - Holly arcade games Batman! Batsugun - Batman's U-GUN gets it's own game Battlantis - The ancient society based on Batman know living at the bottom of the sea Battle Bakraid - unlimited version - Fight fly spray behind you! Battle Chopper - Fight a motorbike! Battle Circuit - Fight a silicon circuit board! Battle Cross - This battle is making me cross! Battle Cruiser M12 - Cruise the battle in your M12 Battle Flip Shot - The brave Flip Shot goes to war Battle Garegga - Type 2 - This is the second type of Graregga we've tried, it better work as we're running out of money! Battle K-Road - Attack of the K-Road! Battle Lane Vol. 5 - Even the streets are having a go at it! Battle Rangers - Put that fire out or I'll fight you! Battle Shark - The rubber one from the original Batman movie Battle Toads ...with a golf club! Battle Zone - I'll fight you, you stinking time zone! Battle of Atlantis - Fight a made up continent! Battle-Road, The - One road fights another Bay Route - A game about taking the scenic route Beam Invader - Beams of light invade the earth! Beast Busters - WAH! You broke my beast! BeatHead - put your head through this hole... Beezer - I really liked their song "Buddy Holly" Bells & Whistles - Who said this game was all gimmicks? Beraboh Man - Ancient man discovered in Beraboh preserved in porridge Berlin Wall, The - Build a wall in the middle of a city and start the Cold War Bermuda Triangle - Everyone who plays this game goes missing Berzerk - Beware of the killer smiley! Best Bout Boxing - In your Sunday Best beat up momma's boys Big Karnak - My Karnak is bigger than yours! Big Pro Wrestling!, The - My Pro Wrestling is bigger than yours! Big Run - What you should go do instead of playing arcade games all day Big Striker - A big stick hits you if you try to play this game Big Twin - The game of that movie with Arnie and Danny Devito Bigfoot Bonkers - The Sasquatch is pulling his hair out over this one Bijokko Gakuen - Gakunen thought this was a BIG JOKE Bijokko Yume Monogatari - so did Yume Bio Attack - The Anthrax training simulator Bio-ship Paladin - The wimpy environmentalist ship gets beat up by D&D nerds who don't like it stealing one of their character classes Biomechanical Toy - ROBO-SPOT! Bionic Commando - Arnie gets a hip replacement Birdie King - The budgie rules his kingdom with an iron claw Birdie King 2 - Go get the budgie some cuttlefish from the beach or else! Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 18- - The over 18 version of "Hello Sailor!" Bishoujo Janshi Pretty Sailor 2 - "Hello Sailor!" kids version Black Heart - You must work for either the CIA or IRS to play this game Black Hole - This game sucks you in Black Panther - black glove not included Black Tiger - Spray paint the tiger before it wakes up Black Widow - Turn your shoes upside down before putting them on Blade Master - Fun sharpening swords Blades of Steel - What did you expect them to be made of? Nougat? Blandia - this...game...is...really...fun Blast Off - Try and launch satellites with the Ariaynne 5 rocket and blow them up! Blasted - Fun with the blast furnace Blaster - Walk around saying "Blast!" Blasteroids - Rapping "Blast!" saying people Blasto - Shoot up the O! Blaze On - Set On, on fire! Blazer - Wear a pretty jacket Blazing Star - Doesn't already do this? Blazing Tornado - Who set the tornado on fire? Block Block - Hole Hole Block Carnival / Thunder & Lightn - The Tetris Circus Block Gal - Don't make fun of her physique or she'll Block you out! Block Hole - The sequel to Block Block Block Out - Put on sunscreen Blockade - What people do to stop this game getting through Blocken - Blocken decides to take a break from 'nspeil Blomby Car - Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Blomby Car! Take you riding in my Car! Blood Bros. - Blood! Icky! Lets use tomato sauce instead! Blood Storm - What happens if you get a blood nose in windy weather Bloxeed - The block takes an E at the party and ends up dancing all night Blue Hawk - Hide the spray can from the ranger after spraying protected wildlife Blue Print - This game hasn't been made yet as they haven't approved the plans Blue Shark - Can you paint the shark blue and live? You must also use water based paints to make it more challenging! Blue's Journey / Raguy - Blue's journey through to Ultraviolet Body Slam - Help! This game is squashing me! Bogey Manor - Flick snot at the walls of a rich person's house Bomb Bee - The evil terrorist bee must be destroyed Bomb Jack - Terrorists try to bomb Jack Bomber Man World - Osama verus the Unabomber Bomberman - Fun with suicide bombers Bombjack Twin - See above but in stereo Bonze Adventure - What a bonze adventure maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate! Boot Hill - The hill is made of boots Borench - The Wacky Eastern-European strongman Bosconian - The man from chocolate sauce land Bottom of the Ninth - Ninth what? Monkey? Boulder Dash / Boulder Dash Part - Roll the rocks down the road Bouncing Balls - What happens if you forget to wear underpants and go on the bouncy castle Bounty, The - The coconut chocolate bar Bowl-O-Rama - Stink-O-Rama Boxing Bugs - Cockroach fight club Boxy Boy - Don't put your kid in a box, that's not nice Bradley Trainer - Attach Bradley to electrodes to stop him wetting the bed Brain - The zombies' game of choice Break Thru - What your fist does with the screen after playing it Breakers - WAH! This game broke my other games! Brute Force - It's too hard to push the joysticks on this game Bubble 2000 - 2000 bubbles Bubble Bobble - the original description of this game is weird enough Bubble Bobble 2 - see above Bubble Memories - The Story Of Bu - I remember bubbles Bubbles - Play as a wacky chimp as you try to escape Michael's mansion Buck Rogers: Planet of Zoom - Race around the planet and shoot things in your fake spaceship Bucky O'Hare - It's too hard to get the saddle on the rabbit Buggy Challenge - You must debug the Microsoft Windows source code Bull Fighter - Reading any politician's press releases Bullfight - Boxing bulls Burger Time - A scary plastic clown tries to tell you the time Burglar X - An ex-burglar goes at it again Burnin' Rubber - Set the tire yard on fire Burning Fight - hit each other while on fire Burning Force - Who set Darth Vader on fire? Butasan - A hygienic game that teaches how to wipe your butt correctly after going to the toilet Cabal - There is no USENET C*b*l! Cachat ...in the hat Cadash - Kill monsters will a powerful spiked yo-yo Cadillacs and Dinosaurs - Help the T-Rex cruise the streets in his open-topped Cadillac looking for hookers Caliber 50 - The size of the holes this game has through it Calipso - This game sounds like a kettle drum Camel Try ...to get kids to start smoking Cannon Ball - That was an excellent song by the Breeders Canyon Bomber - The evil terrorists are trying to blow up a hole in the ground Capcom Baseball - Play baseball with Hadokens Capcom Bowling - Play bowling with Hadokens Capcom Sports Club - Where the Street Fighter characters go after work Capcom World - Fly in a dinky little plane over to JAPAN! Capcom World 2 - The only other place you can go in Capcom World is the city Final Fight is based in Captain America ...and his silly sidekick Dubya! Captain Commando - Big Arnie gets an increase in rank Captain Silver - ARRR! Captain Tomaday - This captain gets beat up in the playground for having a sissy name. Car Jamboree - The cars race around wearing ribbons and looking pretty Car Polo - Like chicken polo pasta only more crunchy Carnival ...of freaks! Carrier Air Wing - Not much of a carrier as the wing is only made of air Cassette: Astro Fantasia - Astro Boy's fantasy in convenient cassette form Cassette: Explorer - One day some will find out why I am doing this Cassette: Fighting Ice Hockey - A realistic simulation of an on-rink brawl Cassette: Graplop - What some people do on the newsgroups to try and find their name Cassette: Lock'n'Chase - Chase down the locks to unlock them Cassette: Lucky Poker - What Steve Irwin is Cassette: Mission-X - Mission-Y and Z coming soon! Cassette: Night Star - You don't see many stars during the day Cassette: Peter Pepper's Ice Cream ...pick a peck of pickled peppers. Cassette: Pro Bowling - bowl and demand a beer rider Cassette: Pro Golf - play golf and demand an appearance fee Cassette: Pro Soccer - this game kicks you in the shin to get you off guard Cassette: Pro Tennis - you must have a mad Dad to play this game Cassette: Rootin' Tootin' ...Hootin' and Alexander Putin Cassette: Scrum Try - this sounds dirty Cassette: Super Astro Fighter - Astro Boy goes super Cassette: Terranean - Earthian Cassette: Test Tape - Testing *something* Cassette: Tornado - Every time you play this the arcade gets blown away Cassette: Treasure Island - ARRR! Catapult - Play this to cross town quickly Cavelon - The new moisturiser from a cave Caveman Ninja - Throw ninja stars made out of rock Centipede - You need 100 feet to press the buttons Cerberus - Fight the mystical dog Challenger - I will refrain from making any sick jokes about the effects of pushing a button Chameleon - I can't find this game in the arcade Champion Baseball - You have to listen to the national anthem being sung by Roseanne before playing this game Champion Wrestler - This game comes with a syringe that injects you with steroids before playing Championship Sprint - To play this game you have to chase it for 100 metres Change Air Blade ...in mid-air! Changes - based on the bad eighties song Chase HQ ...down the road as it wants to go somewhere else Checkman - the person who always pays by check for every purchase like chewing gum Checkmate - It beat me! I can't think of a funny line Cheeky Mouse - the game that has it's butt cheeks showing Chelnov - Atomic Runner - It doesn't do any good running away from an atomic bomb Chequered Flag - The flag waving simulation Cheyenne - Play inside the NORAD control centre and not do much Chibi Marukochan Deluxe Quiz - Chibi puts on a good quiz Chicken Shift - Get these chickens to the KFC processing plant to be filled with lard Chiller - Cool Chimera Beast - How about 'Tautology Beast'? China Gate - Build a gate in the Great Wall of China China Town - Where I go to the bakery on Wednesdays Chinese Casino [BET] - This one beat me also Chinese Hero - Wong Fei Hong! Choplifter - what you do once they have finished cooking on the BBQ Chopper I - I thought eye surgery was much more delicate than that Chuka Taisen - Taisen can't bowl! Circus - Help I'm scared of clowns Circus Charlie - The Viet Cong puts on it's own Circus Cisco Heat - Help! The router is overheating! City Bomber - This game is now being pursued as part of TWAT City Connection - Snap cities together: Boston and New York - click! City Love - Las Vegas tries to hit on all the other cities that come to visit Clash Road - Your road is clashing with my truck! Clay Pigeon ...can't fly very well Clay Shoot - how dare you shoot the poor defenceless clay! Cleopatra Fortune - don't sit on your Asp! Cloak & Dagger - not much fun playing inanimate objects Cloud 9 - you should have seen the first 8 clouds Clowns - AIEEE! Cobra-Command - What the snake charmers do Colony 7 - you should have seen the... Columns - My mum used to love playing this game Columns II - The Voyage Through Time - Blocks travel through time Combat - Tanky-tanky Combat School - Learn to beat each other up Combatribes, The - Beat each other up and live in a tribe Commando - Go Big Arnie! Comotion - What's all the ruckus? Congo Bongo - King Kong beating the drum Continental Circus - Continents go to the circus Contra - The CIA tries to get rebels to overthrow the government Cop 01 - You need donut 999 to play it Cops'n Robbers - includes a cream pie fight Cosmic Alien - DUH! Cosmic Avenger - Avenge the rest of the galaxy Cosmic Chasm - Help! There's a hole in space Cosmic Guerilla - The gorilla from space Cosmo Gang the Puzzle - Kramer's puzzle Cosmo Gang the Video - Kramer's XXX video Cosmos - Anything to do with a butthead astronomer? Crackshot - Crack dealers shoot each other Crash - what you do with your Dad's car after drinking too much Crater Raider - find American flags and moon rovers! Crayon Shinchan Orato Asobo - Scribble all over the screen Crazy Balloon - You wacky clown! What interesting balloon animals! Crazy Climber - He is scared of the ground Crazy Climber 2 - the sequel of the above game Crazy Kong - he was pretty stupid to climb that building Crazy Rally - drive the rally blindfolded Crime City - A game about Detroit Crime Fighters ...in their underwear Crossbow - you get shot by a bolt if you try to play Crossed Swords - Those swords are pretty cross Crude Buster - break open barrels of oil Cruis'n USA - Cruise the streets in your sports car looking for working boys Cruis'n World - as above but overseas Crush Roller - A slow racing game featuring a steamroller Crystal Castles - Needs to be put away when the kids come over or they will smash it! Crystal Gal - Cold as ice... Crystal Gal 2 - She might look pretty but see above Cuby Bop - Boppin' George Hammond Cuebrick - Direct films like the late legendary director Curve Ball - All balls have curves don't they? Cutie Q - Q-bert's girlfriend Cybattler - Cy goes to battle Cyber-Lip - Don't you give me no lip you dumb robot! Cyberball - I thought robots were asexual Cyberbots: Fullmetal Madness - They got rust in their brains Cyvern - Sounds geeky D-Con - go to a convention with D nerds D-Day - land on D's day Daioh - Die Oh Die! Daitoride - probably not as good as Gatorade Dangar - Ufo Robo - Danger U F@#$ing old robot! Danger Zone - I seem to recall there being a highway to it Dangerous Seed - From the Idiot Tree Dangun Feveron - Dan's Gun has a fever on Danny Sullivan's Indy Heat - It sure does get hot once the cars catch on fire after crashing Daraku Tenshi - The Fallen Angels - Naughty Daraku! Stop pushing the Angels off the wall Darius - The new language to be spoken in Afghanistan Darius Gaiden - Silver Hawk - WAH! You dipped my hawk in silver now it can't fly! Darius II - Dari is the language spoken in Afghanistan Dark Planet ...on the dark side of the sun Dark Seal - Balance the ball on your nose Dark Warrior - The warrior only fights at night Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors - These warriors stalk the absence of light Darwin 4078 - I wonder if this city will still be above the sea by then? Datsun 280 Zzzap - The sound the crappy car makes when you try to start it Dazzler - Bobby's game Dead Connection - NO CARRIER Dead Eye - Sounds right on the money Defend the Terra Attack on the Re - Evil terrorists are attacking Re! Defender - I can't beat the Hyperspace! Bodymovin' Bodymovin... Demolition Derby - The newly licensed drivers try to get home after a piss up Demon - Evil demon seeks nice girl GSOH for f/ship r/ship Demon's World / Horror Story - Where the demon lives Depthcharge - A fart in the submarine simulator Desert Gun - point and shoot to create an instant desert Desert War - Arid regions fight each other Destroyer - WAH! The game wrecked all my other games! Devastators - See above Devil Fish - Satan Salmon Devil World - The World with horns Devil Zone - no Angel parking here Dharma Doujou - Dharma from MTV gets religious Diamond Run - Run you precious gem! Dig Dug - Hand Doug a shovel and tell him to get on with it Dig Dug II - He's still digging Digger - MAAAAAATE! Dingo - steal babies from the tents Dino Rex - DUH! Dirt Fox - I thought all foxes were dirty Disco Mahjong Otachidai no Okite - Play with tiles in the disco Disco No.1 - From KIBO: "Dance while urinating!" I never want to see Disco Number 2 then. Discs of Tron - Is it out on DVD yet? Diver Boy - get back in the water and dive for pearls Do! Run Run - Oooo-woooo! In the jungle... DoDonPachi - Why does this sound like a character from Happy Days? Dog Fight - Dogs fight planes Dog Patch - Beats up Dog Spot. WAH! Poor Spot! Dogyuun - Yuun! Dog for dinner Dokaben - Ben gets dokaed Domino Man - He is always the first to fall Dominos - set 'em up and knock 'em down Dommy ...and discipline Don Doko Don - The Don of Dokos DonPachi - In Don Pachi's Backyard Donkey Kong - I can't thing of a joke Donkey Kong 3 - I don't feel like it Donkey Kong Junior - Mini ape madness Dottori Kun - Excuse me, you left a "t" over here Double Axle - Watch the underside of the car Double Dragon - Two dragons fight each other Double Dragon 3 - The Rosetta Stone - Why would two dragons want to fight over something that had hieroglyphics and ancient Greek on it? Double Dragon II - The Revenge - One dragon's revenge Double Dribble - You need two morons to play this game DownTown - Can only be played in the bad part of town Dr. Toppel's Tankentai - Tie up tanks for Dr Toppel Drag Race - Wear women's clothing while driving really fast Dragon Blaze - This is what dragons do isn't it? Dragon Breed - You need to show them Dragon Porn to get them going Dragon Buster - WAH! You broke my dragon Dragon Saber - Swashbuckling dragons Dragon Spirit - My dragon is dead! Dragon Unit / Castle of Dragon - 50CCs of dragon! STAT! Dragon World II - Dragons own the world again Dragonball Z 2 Super Battle - Why does it sound like they all have constipation? Dramatic Adventure Quiz Keith & L - Fun! Dream Shopper - Dream about being able to afford anything in the windows of Tiffany's. Dream Soccer '94 - Dream about playing in the world cup Dribbling - You only need one moron to play this Drift Out - Someone forgot to tie up the boats Drift Out '94 - The Hard Order - They forgot again but the knots they were ordered to use were too hard Dungeon Magic - A magical dungeon fights monsters and earns Exp. Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow over M - You need a 1561321321231 sided die to play Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom - Where the D&D nerds put people who make fun of their D&D games Dyger - What happened to the tiger that fell into the tie die barrel Dynamic Ski - High tech ski, you can only use one of them though Dynamite Duke - John Wayne throws lighted stick of gelignite at the baddies Dynamite Dux - don't blow up the ducks at your local park, that's not nice Dynamite League - Don't try and blow up the local sports team either just because they lost a few games this season Dynasty Wars - JR goes to war! E-Swat - Cyber Police - The Fly Swat fights crime with robots ESP Ra.De. - You need it to play this game Earth Defense Force - More freaks with their underpants on the outside Eco Fighters - What wimpy fighters they only fight sound waves! Eight Forces - You need to know about physics to play this game Eight Man - A bar room brawl simulator Electric Yo-Yo, The - don't try to dunk this yo-yo or you will get a shock Elevator Action - Filmed on hidden camera Elevator Action Returns - more hidden camera antics Eliminator - More farting Emeraldia - The green game Empire City: 1931 - 1931! That's pretty old! Empire Strikes Back, The - Say Empire. Empire. *whack!* Strikes Back! End, The - That's all...no there's more! Enduro Racer - play this game and see who can stay awake the longest Equites - E quits his job as a joke about ecstasy Escape Kids - From the bad babysitter Escape from the Planet of the Robot Monsters - Perfect! I don't need to make fun of this name Espial - Only just saw this one Exciting Soccer - Wow! I never knew a nil all draw and 60 minutes off extra time could be so exciting! Exed Exes - X's Ex Exerion - Have fun crashing oil tankers into pristine environments Express Raider - Raid the UPS guy's truck for goodies Extermination - The Daleks' favourite game Exterminator - I would be surprised if this doesn't involve Big Arnie in some way. Extra Bases - Needed for when the other ones get blown up Extra Inning - What? We have to play *more* baseball? Extreme Downhill - RAD DUDE! Exvania - A small country in Eastern Europe Exzisus - This is an EX-zisus! Eyes - Stop looking at me! F-1 Dream - dream of the million dollar contracts and HAWT CHY><0R F-1 Grand Prix - It's French. Grand means big and prix means me and my mates F1 Grand Prix Star - Racing stars Face Off - Don't lean too close to the game or it will take your face off FairyLand Story, The - You would get beat up for even thinking about this game it is so wimpy Fancy World - Earth of Crisis - The World Gets fancy and the Earth is in crisis for not having a thing to wear! Fantasia - Help some stupid cartoon mouse smash brooms Fantasia II - Hopefully this is the one with the cool giant devil and not the stupid cartoon mouse Fantasy - Peace in the Middle East Fantasy Zone - A magical place where nothing ever bad happens Fast Lane - What they need at the supermarket - no old people allowed Faster, Harder, More Challenging - So's a car with no brakes but you don't hear people wanting that Fatal Fury - King of Fighters / G - Look out! Your head could explode if you get too angry! Fatal Fury 2 / Garou Densetsu 2 - - Garou's Head Explodes with rage Fatal Fury 3 - Road to the Final - Don't get too angry as you are meant to be studying for your finals Fatal Fury Special / Garou Denset - Garou comes back with a patched up head and denser brain Fax - You can send this game over the phone line Fight Fever / Crystal Legacy - I'm sick, lets fight! Fighter & Attacker - Tautology & tautology Fighting Golf - Why does this remind me of part of the old Dinosaur Jnr film clip? Fighting Hawk - Screech! Arrgh! My nose! Fighting Roller - Steam rollers fight each other Fighting Soccer - Most of the fighting goes on in the stands though Final Blow - I'll be the last to punch you! Final Fight - Just one last bar brawl then I'll go home Final Round - Not another Rocky movie! Final Star Force - Just one more time pushing the sun then I'll go home Finalizer - Super Transformation - Transform the last time Find Out - what this game is about Finest Hour - how do you know? Are you an hour connoisseur? Fire Barrel - Don't open without a fire extinguisher Fire One - You're Fired One! Fire Shark - What happened to the shark in Jaws II Fire Trap - Put this bucket of water over the door, that outta trap fire Fire Truck - what it says Fit of Fighting - Epileptics fight each other on the floor Flash Gal - She's not going to get any complaints here Flash Point - Stop flashing me point Flicky - What the monitor does when you play this game Flower - Another wimpy game Fly-Boy - launch the toddler Flyball - that would be a really small ball Flying Shark - Didn't this happen in the movie Orca? Food Fight - In the high school cafeteria Football Champ - Cheerleader not included Football Frenzy - announcer who says "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" not included Forgotten Worlds - Where did I put the world? Formation Z - pretty boring it's just this: ZZZZZZZ Z Z Z Z Z ZZZZZZZ Forty-Love - Love forty of what? Wacky chimps? Freeze - Hold it right there! Frenzy - You have to be mad to play this game Frisky Tom - Why you should get your cat de-sexed Frogger - Do I need you to explain this? There's a Seinfeld episode on it by criminy! Frogs - Froggers not as popular cousin Front Line - The line dumb enough to volunteer Funky Bee - Listen to jazz and play a tiny saxophone Funky Fish - swim in zig zags Funky Jet - This jet smells funny Funny Mouse - That mouse looks funny Future Spy - Help the CIA figure out what to do in the future GI Joe - Microwave/firecrackers not included Galactic Warriors - Galaxies fight each other Galaga - Sounds like a mouthwash Galaga '88 - Sounds like a bad re-issue of a mouthwash Galaxian - A resident of the galaxy Galaxy Fight - Universal Warriors - Universes Fight Each other Galaxy Wars - See somewhere above Galivan - Cosmo Police - Gulliver and Kramer police Gallop - Armed police Unit - Horses run over police Galmedes - sounds like a USENET kook who posts his crackpot theories to the science newsgroups Gals Panic - Play a rip off of Qix to reveal low quality pr0n Gals Panic 4 - see above Gals Panic S - Extra Edition - see above Gals Panic S2 - see above Gals Pinball - play pinball to reveal low quality pr0n Game Paradise - Master of Shootin - Also master of Hootin' and Tootin' Ganbare Ginkun - another pr0n game? Gang Busters - lets break up some gangs! Gang Wars - I wouldn't think people would want to play something so close to real life Gaplus - The lack of a gap Garou - Mark of the Wolves - The wolves are pissing everywhere! Garyo Retsuden - Gary-O's Retsuden Gauntlet - Wasn't this an average movie starring Clint Eastwood, a hooker and an amoured bus? Gauntlet II - I don't remember this movie Gee Bee - G goes buzz Gekirindan ...verus Godzilla! Gemini Wing - A crappy car with wings Genpei ToumaDen - Gen pees on ToumanDen Ghost Pilots - No wonder the planes keep crashing, only ghosts are flying them Ghosts'n Goblins - Scary! Ghouls'n Ghosts - Help! I've been turned into a duck! Ghox - Play the ghost of a fox Giga Wing - What a big wing Gigandes - The giant robot Gimme A Break ...I've got 3000 of these to do! Ginga NinkyouDen - You big NinkyoyDen Ginga! Gionbana - GI-O-BA-NA! Gio Banana! Gladiator - Go Russel! Gladiator 1984 - The future is a Roman sandal stamping on a face forever! Go Go Mr. Yamaguchi / Yuke Yuke Y - Go Go Gadget Yamaguchi! Go Go! Mile Smile - That's a pretty long smile Goal! Goal! Goal! - Three more goals than most soccer games Goalie Ghost - What a useless goalie! Goindol - Go in doll! Gold Bug - What made all those miners go to Alasaka for some specks Gold Medalist - AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! OI! OI! OI! Golden Axe - Wouldn't it bend? Golden Fire II - Wouldn't it melt Golden Tee Golf - Using one of Mr T's chains to make the tees Golden Tee Golf II - see above Golfing Greats - 10 players, all of them Tiger Woods Gomoku Narabe Renju - Go Moku! Gondomania - The Gondo craze comes to a head Gorf - Gorf from Smorf Gourmet Battle Quiz Ryorioh CooKi - Cook and Quiz? Just shut up and eat it! would be the answer if you asked a real chef Gradius III - The third slope Grand Champion - t' Grand Champion of t' Eckythump Grand Cross - What a big Cross Grand Striker - 1000 people go on strike Gratia - Second Earth - So that's where I left that second Earth Gravitar - Sounds like an old sound card Great 1000 Miles Rally - If you had to listen to the boring conversation for 1000 miles you wouldn't think it was so great Great Sluggers '94 - What a good lot of slugs Great Swordsman - A man made out of swords Green Beret - just play the beret, not the Arnie lookalike underneath it Grid Seeker: Project Stormhammer - Looking for the power grid Gridiron Fight - Don't they do this anyway? Gridlee - Awww! What cute Gridlee! Grobda - Don't Grobda me! Growl - What this game does if you try to play it Guardian - I couldn't play this game as there is someone guarding it Guerrilla War - Beat your chest and go to war Guided Missile - That'll show Saddam! Gulf Storm - Another game based on Desert Storm Gulf War II - Coming soon thanks to Dubya trying to find any excuse for a war Gun & Frontier - YEE-HAW! Gun Bird - When the ducks shoot back Gun Dealer - One of many seen in Bowling for Columbine Gun Dealer '94 - See above Gun Fight - Guns hit each other over the head Gun.Smoke - You have to use your hands? It's like a baby's toy! GunNail - It is not advisable to hammer in nails by shooting them Gunbird 2 - The pheasants shoot back Gunbuster - Otherwise known as the gun buyback scheme Gundhara - Travel the mystical land of Gundhara and shoot guns Gunforce - Battle Fire Engulfed T - Save Mr T from the fire using guns Gunforce 2 - Almost finished on the gun jokes Gunlock - What every gun should have Gururin - The USSR's little known first backup astronaut Guwange - The singing scarecrow from an old BBC series Guzzler - All it does is take my money and I can't play it Gyakuten!! Puzzle Bancho - The Puzzle Bancho is very you know what Gypsy Juggler - This person must be very strong to juggle gypsies Gyrodine - Get it right! It's called a Souvlaki! Gyruss - Isn't this a country in the Middle East? HAL21 - DAISY! DAISY! Hachoo! - Sneezing fun Hammerin' Harry - The main part of this game is a big hammer that you have to keep your fingers away from Hana Awase - ?!? Hana to Ojisan [BET] - Bet on something Hanaroku - This is a completely unusable thingymebob Hand, The - Play as the thing Hang-On - Hang onto the arcade cabinet as it runs around the room Hang-On Jr. - As above but smaller Hard Drivin' - hard drinkin' hard drug takin' Hard Drivin's Airborne - What happens after the above two Hard Hat - What you need to wear as this game falls on you Hard Head - If you are HEFTY! HEFTY! HEFTY! you don't need the above Hard Yardage - Some men exaggerate too much Hasamu - what a cow has Hat Trick - Play this game three times to get it Hatris - Stack hats for non fun Haunted Castle - Spoooky! Where's Scooby Doo? Head On ...your shoulders obviously Head On 2 - Eww! Who left the head on the poo? Heart Attack - This game force feeds you lard until you die! Heavy Barrel - I can't lift the gun! Heavy Metal - Now available in unleaded version Heavyweight Champ - This game really needs an "i" instead Hebereke no Popoon - Popoon! Pop uses a spoon! Heiankyo Alien - HEY Anko-Alien! HeliFire - Help! Someone has set the helicopter on fire! Hellfire - I am the lord of Hellfire and I bring you my album! Hero - You have to be to rescue this game from the baddie's castle Hexa - Don't play this game or you will be cursed! Hexion - Ion gets a Hex High Impact Football - Play football with trucks! High Voltage ...rock and roll! High Way Race - Highways race each other Hippodrome - Hippos race each other in the ring of death History of Martial Arts, The - When you attempt to play this game Bruce Lee kicks you in the head, then Jackie Chan, then Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li and Keanu fakes it with special effects Hit 'n Miss - Sometimes your money earns you a credit, sometimes not Hit Me - This game comes with a big built in punching bag Hit the Ice - Smash ice cubes! Hoccer - trade the soccer ball at the local pawn shop Hole Land - where the national food is the donut Hook - what they use when you are walking past to try to get you to play this game Hopper Robo - Poke R2D2 with a stick to get it to jump Hopping Mappy - A map with a frog inside Hot Chase - Set Chevy Chase on fire Hot Pinball - TILT in the fireplace! Hot Shocker - what happens when you put the electric heater in the bath Hot Shots Tennis - play tennis with burning balls Hotdog Storm - What would happen if an evil terrorist blew up the Weiner mobile House Mannequin - What they use to design clothes for other houses House Mannequin Roppongi Live hen - as above but with a chook yard out the back Hunchback - what you will look like after playing this very long game Hunchback Olympic - I didn't know bell ringing was an Olympic sport Hustle - When you start this game it plays the music from "The Sting" and will not stop! Hustler, The - This game is all sticky and the pages are stuck together! Hydra - If you try to cut this game up about ten more grow in it's place Hyper Duel - See who can stand still the longest after drinking a case of Jolt Cola Hyper Pacman - What happens to you after one-too-many "power pills" Hyper Sports - As in the duel but you can bet on it I'm Sorry ...for starting this as now I have to finish it I, Robot - When you try to play this game the robot won't let you because of it's 'three laws' IGMO - Icky Gunky Murky Ogoogleburlk IPM Invader - A crazy alien whose pee bounces twice IQ-Block - What you need before playing this game Ichidant-R - An ichy Ant ARRR! Idol-Mahjong Final Romance - Brittney & Justin try to start something for the last time while playing Mahjong Idol-Mahjong Housoukyoku - Play Mahjong in the house while lying around Iemoto - AIYEE! A moto car just ran over my foot! Iga Ninjyutsuden - Iga does Ninja stuff in the den Ikari III - The Rescue - Save me from this game! Ikari Warriors - I's wearing kahki go to war Ikki ...POO! Image Fight - stop punching the mirrors! Imekura Mahjong - Ahh Mahjong! Always easy to make a joke about that... In The Hunt - This would be a given to make fun of if the game's name ended in a "C" Indiana Jones and the Temple of D - Help Indy retreive the golden D from the temple Indoor Soccer - Whoever breaks the window pays for it Inferno - This game burnt down the arcade the first time they switched it on Insector - Can of Raid not included Insector X - Oh fun! A porn insect game! Intrepid - When you play this game it starts off across the continent Invader's Revenge - [Insert anal proble joke here] Invinco - Isn't that what Boris says in Goldeneye? "I am invinco!" Invinco / Deep Scan - If you try to come up with a list of funny lines for all the MAME games you need your head read. Go get a cat scan. Invinco / Head On 2 - Invinco was not too impressed with the head on poo either Iron Horse - No wonder it didn't get out of the starting gate, this horse is a cast-iron replica Ironman Stewart's Super Off-Road - I think Stewart drank a bit too much on the way home from the Ironman contest Irritating Maze / Ultra Denryu Ir - What a fun maze! Ixion - More fun with out of control oil tankers J. J. Squawkers - Is this a game or a department store? Jack Rabbit - Jill Rabbit sold separately Jack the Giantkiller - Big deal, all he did was prune the broad bean stalks in the veggie patch Jackal - Let's shoot the president of France! Jail Break - You must wear and school uniform and guitar to play this game Jan Jan Paradise - Not happy Jan Jan! Jan Jan Paradise 2 ...but what about Spike Milligan? Jitsuryoku!! Pro Yakyuu ...but what about Spike Milligan? John Elway's Team Quarterback ...and Spike Milligan Journey - to the nearest exit after playing this game Joust - this game hits you over the head with a mace if you try to play it Joust 2 - Survival of the Fittest - horse and lance not included Joyful Road - Help! The road is trying to hug me after someone spilled Ecstasy tablets on it Jr. Pac-Man - which few pixels did they change for this game Judge Dredd - The judge's wigs really do need to change with the times, this one would be especially relevant to dope cases Jump Bug - Jump Herbie Jump! Jump Coaster - A interesting diversion for barflys Jump Kids - What Evel Kenievel does with his kids at home Jump Shot - Hunt game from a pogo stick! Jumping Jack - after someone on a pogo stick shot him in the butt Jungle King - The jungle wears a crown Jungler - juggle trees and lions and bears Juno First - A Californian city gets its first game Jyanshin Densetsu - Quest of Jong - Jong's quest to be dense Kabuki Klash - Far East of Eden / - A Japanese Theatre star goes fishing Kageki - Put Eki in a cage Kaiser Knuckle - Sausage Fists! Kaitei Takara Sagashi - No way! You can shag Ashi yourself! Kangaroo - Tie Rolf Harris down sport! Kaos - missed the joke by *that* much Karate Blazers - Kick butt in wimpy jumpers Karate Champ - Why don't any of these have an "a" instead? Karate Tournament, The - Mr Miagui not included Karian Cross - Jump! Jump! Karian Cross will make you... Karnov - The famous chess player Karnov's Revenge / Fighter's Hist - chess player gets angry and hisses Ken-Go ...to the shops to buy some milk KiKi KaiKai - Kick army surplus pants all over the place! Kick - the game with the built in arse for you to kick! Kick Goal - Break your toe on the goal posts Kick Off - Off doesn't like this game Kick Rider - Kick the rider and try to avoid the horse kicking you! Kick and Run - Useless as a one legged man in a kick and run contest Kicker - Ain't it? Kid Niki - Radical Ninja - Nikki Webster's next film, beats singing about 'Strawberry Kisses" Kid no Hore Hore Daisakusen - I can't make a joke about this one without sounding like a pimp Kikiippatsu Mayumi-chan - Kick Pat & Sue all over Mayumi-chan Killer Comet - Look out! It wiped out the dinosaurs now it's going make you extinct! King & Balloon - The 'Royal Secret' we never heard about King of Boxer - Big deal, your king of a bit of cardboard with four walls and a bottom King of Dragons, The - Dress not included, bitchiness an option extra King of Fighters '94 - 2000, The - I'm the king of the castle and your the dirty rascal! King of the Monsters - My Year 10 English teacher didn't like the story I wrote that was based on this game King of the Monsters 2 - The Next - Godzilla is crowned king of Monsterland and it's party time all round! Kirameki Star Road - The road to Alpha Centuri has a sign at the end of it - "You have reached Alpha Centuri, now go home" Kitten Kaboodle - Pack up your troubles in your old Kitten Kaboodle bag and smile! Smile! Smile... Kizuna Encounter - Super Tag Batt - Swap you a "U" for that "A" so I can make a joke Klax - A sexual act or a combined cloak/pair of pants Knights of Valour / Sangoku Senki - Knights wearing brown shiny fuzzy jumpers instead of armour Knights of the Round - These knights roll down the hill to attack Knuckle Bash - with the hammer - Youch! Knuckle Heatds - Get out of there "T"! Knuckle Joe - Joe wouldn't like that Kodure Ookami - a monkey says "Ook!" and throws kodure everywhere Kokontouzai Eto Monogatari - Somethin' about gators Konami GT - Got what? Kosodate Quiz My Angel - Quiz my angel question 1 - How do you fly if your wings are so small? Kosodate Quiz My Angel 2 - So nice they did it twice! Koukouyakyuh, The - The Kooky Yak Yuh? Koutetsu Yousai Strahl - Young Strudel something Kozmik Kroozr - Space Crooner Kram - The bass player from Spiderbait/stay up all night for the test in the subject you never did any work in Krazy Bowl - Bowling? Mad! Just throw the ball in the direction of the pins and hope it hits something. Krull - Based on the excellent movie with the giant flying stone head - "The gun is good, the penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds!" Kung-Fu Master - Master of some old TV show, not that impressive Kuri Kinton - The former US president gets his own game Kyros - A game about a Greek Island Kyukyoku Tiger 2 - Kyuk! Kyuk! Kyuk! 2 Tigers! Kyuukai Douchuuki Kyuk! Wash out Uki with this hose! Lady Bug - I vill krush yew liek bug! Lady Killer - Quite the hit with the ladies Laguna Racer - Race the track around the track Land Sea Air Squad / Riku Kai Kuu - Land, Sea and Air team up to fight crime Landmaker - knit one, pearl one... Lasso - Yeehaw! Catch the buckin' arcade cabinet Last Blade - 2 / Bakumatsu Roman - Ge - That reminds me I need to buy more razors Last Day, The - Schools out for the summer.... Last Duel - before they both shoot each other Last Fortress - Toride - last fortress for 500 miles, fill up on gas now Last Mission - In order to go home you have to fly 49 missions, but you don't want to fly that last mission... Last Resort - The only game in the arcade that isn't broken Lazer Command - Command a group of poor cpellers League Bowling - Bowl 20,000 leagues under the sea Legend - Oh look a game about me... Legend of Hero Tonma - This game involves a yellow truck Legend of Kage, The - What a boring legend, it's about some iron bars welded together Legend of Makai - About a city in Northern Queensland (Beable will explain) Legend of Silkroad, The - They must have had to use a lot of silkworms to make an entire road Legend of Success Joe / Ashitano - Who successfully got someone to make a game about him for $$$ Legendary Wings - Wah! You ripped the wings of the flying horsy just to make your game Legion - The only arcade game that requires salt as payment Lemmings - A whole heap of these games went over the cliff Leprechaun - chase the game to find the pot of gold Lethal Crash Race - Not something that you want to be advertising I would think Lethal Thunder - The farting game! Levers - pull the lever and a 100 ton weight drops on your head Libble Rabble - Only a little riot, nothing too serious Liberator - Sounds like a sex aid or a Charles Bronson film Lightning Fighters - Rubber boots not included Liquid Kids - I do not want to know about your diarrhoea! Lizard Wizard - Look! It's Gandalf Goanna Lock'n'Chase - Chase your care down the hill after locking the keys inside Loco-Motion - Thomas the Tank Engine's game Lode Runner I - IV - The wacky drug trafficking game! Logger - Chop down trees and try to avoid greenies Logic Pro - Try to out logic Spock as to why you should be playing this game Looping - Wah! It's just the same screen over and over! Lost Tomb - I know I parked that crypt around here somewhere... Lot Lot - Salt Salt Lotto Fun - Waste your money trying to win a mathematically impossible contest! It's Fun! Lovely Pop Mahjong Jan Jan Shimas - Sing pop songs with the Jan twins and play mah-jong Lucky & Wild - Play poker whilst eating from expired cans of un-labelled food Lunar Lander - Crash the lunar lander to determine if the ground is soft Lunar Rescue - Rescue the man in the moon or he will have to eat green cheese forever Lupin III - Something about three rabbits M-4 - MMMM! M.A.C.H. 3 - It's a good shaver but the blades cost twice as much as the original shaver. I fixed them, I just buy a new shaver each time! M79 Ambush - Oh no MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMM have been ambushed! MX5000 - Magnification X5000 is what the Hubble Telescope has. This is useful in case the NASA scientists want to read over your shoulder. Macho Mouse - [Insert Village People reference here] Macross - Don't do that your making Ma angry! Macross II - Well golee! Ma's mad again! Macross Plus - Ma's spittin' chips cos Pa done shot up the Aohell again! Mad Crasher - This game runs on Windows 98, count the seconds between crashes! Mad Gear - Watch second it's mad! Mad Motor - Ow! The motor bit me! Mad Planets - Pluto when it crosses over Neptune's orbit. One of these millennia it's going to be like when the baddies try to outrun the train. Mag Max - Watch the spinning hubcaps of doom Max! Magic Bubble - Look at the pretty colours! Magic Sword - Heroic Fantasy - I once saw "sword in the stone" at some theme park. It was kept in the rock by a magnet and a chain that was too short to lift it out. Magical Cat Adventure - Stroke the kitty's fur backwards to get a wish and also bite and scratch marks Magical Crystals - It's just coloured salt, don't buy it Magical Drop II - The chemist who originally smelled the spilled acid must have thought it to be pretty special. Magical Drop III - Don't drop the magician's hat, you never know what could come out of it Magical Spot II - It would be far too easy to make a joke about the G-Spot here so I won't do it Magician Lord - God does some tricks Magix / Rock - The new band Magix Rocks! Mahjong - Majhong and Solitaire are two of the most popular computer games mainly because people are too lazy to shuffle cards or try and mix up the playing pieces (a heap of other Mah-jong games elided - you try making a joke about mah-jong!) Mahou Daisakusen - Bitmap flange rasturadouberie Maikobana - Mai punches out a banana Main Event, The - A game about wrestling aliens in space Major Havoc - Minor chaos Major League - The baseball soldier Major Title - Major Major Major Major Title 2 - Major Major Major Jr. Mania Challenge - Keep the screaming fans away from the arcade game Many Block - Many blocks end up on the floor and in the vacuum cleaner bag Mappy - Can you fold it correctly? Marble Madness - just scatter a bag of them on the floor of the arcade and watch the hilarity Marchen Maze - March the soldiers around the maze Marine Boy - The game about the 'Children Overboard' election winning lie Mariner - ARRR! Almost a pirate game Mario Bros. - Oh come on! Who needs this explained to them? Markham - Draw on the leg o' ham Mars - Eat a chocolate bar Marvel Land - The land of rubber underpants worn on the outside Marvel Super Heroes - Batman gets to beat up the other characters who made fun of his tights Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter - Superman punches the arcade machine Marvel Vs. Capcom: Clash of Super - Wonder Woman vs undead zombies Marvin's Maze - The paranoid android goes around in circles Masked Riders Club Battle Race - Race carrying a club with a mask on it Master of Weapon - what it doesn't tell you is that the weapon is a rubber band and your have to defeat a band of rampaging barbarians with it Masters of Kin, The - Master the art of putting your next of kin on forms Mat Mania - Go on a mat buying spree at the sales End of part 1 (part two coming depending on the reaction this gets.)