The Epic of Antworth - Part C

starring:
Chopper - all the other guest stars had their ears cut off or where put into a cement mixer by persons unknown...

One day Chopper was sitting in his backyard in Collingwood with a can or several, watching flames consume countless copies of his remaindered book 'Hooky the Cripple' when a caboodle of cabals asked his help to make cacciatore out of cachalots.

They acted so cacophonously, when Chopper suggested it would be a cakewalk for him to make them act cadaverously they left with much calamitousness.

The calculabilities of callisthenics where lost on Chopper and his callosities as he was more interested in the calorimetrically of his calyx and eating camelopards while pondering canalisation and reading about cannibals.

When not polishing his cannonry and acting cantankerous, Chopper liked to act capitalistically and drink beer out of a carafe.

While his books carbonised, he reminisced about making one bloke a castrati and became cataleptic from all the booze he had drunk which was quite cathartic.

The cauterisation of the chambermaid in Chopper's house was treated as suspicious as characteristically the coppers were used to his past charlatanry.

Even though he was a chauvinist and not known for his chivalrousness or as choreographer the chemist with the sensitive chemoreceptor still treated him politely when she was sent to his house to investigate.

Eventually the chronaxy and cicatrix of the chambermaid was proved with circum-cinematography that she had cauterised herself and Chopper was let off.

Later when Chopper went to the shop to buy cl, there was a clandestine plot to stuff a cobra in his coccyx which he caught easily.

Coincidentally the commensuration of the consubstantiation began contemporaneously. This has nothing to do with the story, I just had to use up those four words.

Chopper showed his contemptuousness to the author this story for the last paragraph by trekking the cordillera to meet with a covenantee about a certain coxswain.

With his help and to prove his crotchetiness Chopper pinched a crozier to help prevent crystallization in the cryotherapy of his cat.

Later while hiding in his cubbyhut from the cruel cubists, he read about cuirassing and especially cunnilinctus which he planned to make a habit of.

As he was walking down the street, a curvaceous curatrix spouting cusswords came up to him which fuelled his cupidities.

They went out and he found out she was a cybernetician studying cyclizing in the hope of becoming a cytoplasmic czar and making loads of cash. After dinner Chopper took her home and practised what he had learned earlier from his reference book.

To be continued?


Created on ... January 13, 2005